# you fluffy little BITCH. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 21, 2004, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-fluffy-little-bitch/256184 "2004-07-21T15:31:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-fluffy-little-bitch/256184/21 "2004-07-21T22:27:49Z")
> [@wolfman](#): > > Then I turned 14 or so, with the normal events. Being woken up by a cat attacking your semi-erect morning wood poking up under the balnket with full claws is not a pleasant experience. :eek: And I thought it was bad the other night when I had a kitty dangling by his claws from the back of my hand! ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-fluffy-little-bitch/256184/22 "2004-07-21T23:59:04Z")
I seriously thought I was going to die from loss of blood when Elvis was a kitten, he was such a little terrorist bloodbeast (I _love_ that, by the way). We didn’t make it past 2 nights of keeping my bedroom door open, since the little bastard figured out how to turn on my alarm clock at 4:00 a.m… Seriously, you haven’t lived until you’ve bolted upright from a dead sleep in a panic because it’s pitch black and your alarm clock has started blaring about 10 times louder than usual. He’s two now and my feet and calves are still his favorite things to hunt. I tried to do the “just sit and bear it while sternly saying GENTLE…” but that shit _hurts_. He’s scared the crap outta me so bad sometimes I’ve accidentally flung him across the room (just sitting there watching tv minding my own bid-ness and a flying black ball of fur and teeth attaches itself to my arm and even when I’m trying to fling him off he’s so firmly attached he just flies with my arm, till I fling EXTRA hard and BAM! Flying kitty!) He’s a little better now. I’ve got him trained to the point where I can just show him the spray bottle and he goes running. What I’m trying to say is just try to stick with it, it’ll get better. Eventually. And if you’re lucky, you might even have some blood left in you. Maybe even some SANITY, too! ---
**Author:** ![Kaspar\_Hauser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b3f665/32.png) [@Kaspar\_Hauser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaspar_Hauser)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-fluffy-little-bitch/256184/23 "2004-07-22T02:51:25Z")
I have three feral cats who never came close to a litter box for the first ten or eleven months of their lives, and in the four and a half months they’ve lived with me, I’ve encountered exactly one rogue shit – fortunately, it was in my rooommate’s closet (he has since moved out). I’ve been pleasantly surprised and extremely grateful for their diligence. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-fluffy-little-bitch/256184/24 "2004-07-22T03:24:36Z")
Do you only have one cat? If you do, and that one cat is Siamese, it might be that she’s feeling Lonely and Neglected. Almost all cats love having another cat around, for wrestling and mutual grooming. You’ll occasionally run across a loner, but most cats enjoy the company of other cats. Another cat might shame your meezergirl into doing her business where she’s supposed to, as well. Our male cat used to attempt to tackle my daughter from ambush quite regularly. She’d walk from the hallway into the living room, and find a flying furball going for her upper thighs. Fortunately, he hardly ever uses his claws, but it WAS quite startling for her. Then we went to the Humane Society, and found a cat that wanted to come home with us. Well, she wanted to come home with ME, really. After a week or so of Achilles bristling his tail and hissing at her, they became very good friends, and now wrestle with each other. My daughter says that she sometimes misses being tackled, a little bit. But she says that she can live without it. I’m going to vote that your kitty is unhappy about the temperature. How else is she going to let you know she’s upset? When she leaves those little love logs, you KNOW that something’s wrong. Incidentally, mother cats do not litter-train their kittens when they’re born…the kittens aren’t mobile enough for that. Kittens don’t even open their eyes until they’re a week to ten days old, and they start walking sometime after that. Instead, the mother eats the waste when the kittens are too young to train. Yuck, I know, but that’s the straight dope. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-fluffy-little-bitch/256184/25 "2004-07-22T05:00:54Z")
> [@Lynn Bodoni](#): > > Do you only have one cat? If you do, and that one cat is Siamese, it might be that she’s feeling Lonely and Neglected. Almost all cats love having another cat around, for wrestling and mutual grooming. You’ll occasionally run across a loner, but most cats enjoy the company of other cats. Another cat might shame your meezergirl into doing her business where she’s supposed to, as well. > > . Oh good gods… please do not ever again try to convince \*\* Nevermore \*\* to get a second cat… I can just imagine that… two evil beasts plotting together at night… attacking our feet in tandem… Twooooooo terrorist bloodbeasts? Gods… It’d be like having an Al Queda cell in our living room. ~shudders~ Now… we couuuuuuuld get a dog… and then the dog would eat the kitten, and then we could play with the dog. ---
**Author:** ![grey\_ideas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/dfb087/32.png) [@grey\_ideas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grey_ideas)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-fluffy-little-bitch/256184/26 "2004-07-22T10:38:10Z")
[HIJACK] > [@Guinastasia](#): > > … take Kitty to the vet- **shitting outside the box** is a sign that something is wrong… Way off topic, but as I sit in the office reading this thread I thought that this comment from **Guinastasia** REALLY should make it’s way into corporate speak (as opposed to the commonly heard ‘thinking outside the box’). I can think of many, many things in the business world this could be used to describe 😃 …I know, my mind works in odd ways… grey\_ideas [/HIJACK] ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-fluffy-little-bitch/256184/27 "2004-07-22T13:04:29Z")
> [@overlyverbose](#): > > The last time it happened, I wasn’t really paying attention and he was sitting on the back of the couch right next to my head, facing me, with his back facing my mom. She idly started petting him, then gave his tail a yank. Apparently she did it a few times, then he bit her harder than usual (not enough to draw blood, just enough to hurt) and ran away. I didn’t get mad at him, which upset my mom, but I figure that he’s just defending himself, and if she’s so dense to keep pulling on his tail even though I’ve constantly told her not to, and my cat has also expressed his displeasure, she probably deserves to get nipped on the hand every once in a while. She deserves more then that- I’m not kidding, if someone hurt one of my animals, I’d pound them myself and throw them out of my house. What is she, 10 and can’t control her impulses? The cat’s tail has about a zillion bones in it and is connected right to the spine- it probably fucking HURTS. I just don’t see not doing something more about it then saying “Hey, don’t do that.” What if she decided it would be fun to kick your cat? Giving his tail a yank is the same thing, IMHO. Animal abuse pisses me off to no end. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-fluffy-little-bitch/256184/28 "2004-07-22T14:18:48Z")
> [@Lynn Bodoni](#): > > Instead, the mother eats the waste when the kittens are too young to train. Today is a special day at work. There is a big party, complete with free food. Thank you, Lynn, for whetting my appetite. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-fluffy-little-bitch/256184/29 "2004-07-22T16:07:27Z")
> [@wolfman](#): > > You think a cat that attacks feet is bad. You ain’t even started in annoying cats. > > I grew up without air conditioning, so in the summer. I slept with only one thin blanket, and the door open for as much breeze as possible. I got woken up every morning by our cat hunting my feet . This sucked, and I instinctivly kicked the cat off, when it would run off until the morning when it would do it again. > > Then I turned 14 or so, with the normal events. Being woken up by a cat attacking your semi-erect morning wood poking up under the balnket with full claws is not a pleasant experience. Couldn’t help thinking of this: [Queen of Wands - Monday, December 15, 2003](http://www.queenofwands.net/d/20031215.html) ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-fluffy-little-bitch/256184/30 "2004-07-22T16:16:54Z")
> [@Zette](#): > > She deserves more then that- I’m not kidding, if someone hurt one of my animals, I’d pound them myself and throw them out of my house. What is she, 10 and can’t control her impulses? The cat’s tail has about a zillion bones in it and is connected right to the spine- it probably fucking HURTS. > > I just don’t see not doing something more about it then saying “Hey, don’t do that.” What if she decided it would be fun to kick your cat? Giving his tail a yank is the same thing, IMHO. > > Animal abuse pisses me off to no end. Hey, I usually try to grab her wrist to stop her when I tell her to cut it out. Either that or I pick the cat up and set him on the floor when my mom sits down. But the darn cat usually hops right back up. He seems to like to sit next to my mom sometimes, even when I’m not around. Either way, I’d rather just set the cat on the floor, which is what I normally do unless my hands are full, then I put what I’m holding down and set him on the floor or nudge him off the couch. My mom and I have gotten into a fairly loud fight over the tail pulling, but I’m not going to hit her - while I would never abuse or condone the abuse of animals, she is my mother. ---
**Author:** ![sugaree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@sugaree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sugaree)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-fluffy-little-bitch/256184/31 "2004-07-22T17:24:02Z")
She might grow out of terrorist bloodbath mode. My cat was a fearless hunter of feet as a kitten, but eventually he seemed to pick up on the subtle clues–screaming, bleeding, frantically prying his claws out our flesh-- that indicated such behavior was not as fun for us as it was for him. He still wrestles our hands and feet, but he keeps his claws retracted. > [@wolfman](#): > > Then I turned 14 or so, with the normal events. Being woken up by a cat attacking your semi-erect morning wood poking up under the balnket with full claws is not a pleasant experience. Mr. sugaree still doesn’t dare to sleep on his back. ---
**Author:** ![nevermore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a587f6/32.png) [@nevermore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nevermore)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-fluffy-little-bitch/256184/32 "2004-07-22T18:18:03Z")
> [@Lynn](#): > > Do you only have one cat? If you do, and that one cat is Siamese, it might be that she’s feeling Lonely and Neglected. yes, only one Siamese deathmonger at the moment. and though I wouldn’t mind having two cats in theory, I’d rather prefer to wait until I’m done with apartment-living, as I already trip over this one plenty. wonder if a dog would help with the loneliness at all… or is it just another cat’s company they crave? (I wouldn’t get a dog now either; just curiousity.) > [@](#): > > I’m going to vote that your kitty is unhappy about the temperature. How else is she going to let you know she’s upset? I don’t know… but obviously we need to work on our communication. cuz “here’s a pile of shit, mom” sounds a hell of a lot like “gee I’d like to be fed to a reticulated python” to me. ;D **grey\_ideas** , hehe, I like that… good hijack _pets hijack_ 😃 (now to figure out a way to use it before any of my friends do… ,P) ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-fluffy-little-bitch/256184/33 "2004-07-22T18:25:07Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > What didn’t work for me was to show my kitten how to use the litter box. Shootin’ a couple of ounces of urine in there went without a hitch as the stream was fairly easy to cut off but have you ever tried to stop a dookie midloaf? Hell, it turned out to be a big as the cat. Bwahaha! That reminds me of a hilarious story George Cloony told on one of the talk shows. Seems his roommate had a cat and it hadn’t made a tootsie roll in a really long time. The roommate was really starting to stress about the kitty, thinking of how stopped up she was. So, finally the kitty takes a dump. George Clooney removes the kitty turd and takes a human dump in the box. Roommate comes home and sees what Fluffy gave birth to and nearly passes out. Admit it! This is high comedy! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-fluffy-little-bitch/256184.md?page=1)