# You foolish, ignorant girl. You make me feel old. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 9, 2004, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-foolish-ignorant-girl-you-make-me-feel-old/223722 "2004-01-09T21:38:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2004, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-foolish-ignorant-girl-you-make-me-feel-old/223722/41 "2004-01-10T13:08:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Priceguy \* > \*\*So, what’s a jack-mormon then? \*\* My guess - a rabbit with a mormans hat stpled to its head. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2004, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-foolish-ignorant-girl-you-make-me-feel-old/223722/42 "2004-01-10T13:10:10Z")
morman = mormon named norman and , of course, there’s that little misspelling of staple too. ---
**Author:** ![county](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ce7236/32.png) [@county](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/county)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2004, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-foolish-ignorant-girl-you-make-me-feel-old/223722/43 "2004-01-10T13:24:00Z")
This past summer I was traveling on my bike and stopped at a little roadside park along the Mississippi River in Missouri. This park designates where the “Miracle of the Quails” took place. Those Mormons are some interesting folks. And some damn tough folks as well to have been chased across that river in the dead of winter and lived. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2004, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-foolish-ignorant-girl-you-make-me-feel-old/223722/44 "2004-01-10T19:39:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BubbaDog \* > \*\ ***Stoid** > That little statement is so beautiful. Is it yours? > It would make a great sig line. > \*\* Why yes, yes it is. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Priceguy \* \*\* > So, what’s a jack-mormon then? > \*\* As it was explained to me, a jack-Mormon is a Mormon who believes in everything the church teaches, but doesn’t do a whole lot of practicing. The jack-Mormon I met was a woman who had been involved with a married man for 5 years, smoked, drank, drank coffee, and just generally gratifed herself at will, all the time internally kicking herself in the head for being so weak and sinful. Periodically she would clean up her act, stop doing all the things the church told her not to, attend services, participate in the community, etc. Then I guess she would get horny or tired again and need some lovin’ or some caffeine, and away she’d go… Helluva way to live your life. For a person who is essentially an atheist, and actually pretty hostile to religion as a whole, I have gathered an unusual amount of information about LDS. I got involved with a young (very young…very, very, very young…ahem.) LDS kid about 13 years ago. He was so incredibly messed up, it was both scary and heartbreaking. He was a frighteningly intelligent boy, and it was painfully obvious what a horrible struggle he was having between his razor-sharp reasoning and his indoctrination, not to mention his overwhelming libido. He was the one who introduced me to the intricacies of mormon theology, and I’ve been kinda hooked on it ever since, so I am always drawn to talking with Mormons about their beliefs. ---
**Author:** ![Atreyu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Atreyu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atreyu)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-foolish-ignorant-girl-you-make-me-feel-old/223722/45 "2004-01-11T03:15:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by quietman1920 \* > \*\*I thought the real tragedy of it was that he wasn’t dead. \*\* Maybe he’s only spending a year dead for tax reasons. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-foolish-ignorant-girl-you-make-me-feel-old/223722/46 "2004-01-11T03:18:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Atreyu \* > \*\*Maybe he’s only spending a year dead for tax reasons. 😃 \*\* Nah, he’s just lying low so Liz’s Columbian hit squads won’t find him. ---
**Author:** ![Eolbo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d07c76/32.png) [@Eolbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eolbo)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-foolish-ignorant-girl-you-make-me-feel-old/223722/47 "2004-01-11T06:28:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\*I see them from time to time around here. I’ve yet to understand what they hope to gain from campaigning for U.S. President in Montreal. \*\* Imagine my surprise at seeing several of them clustered under a LaRouche in 2004 banner in the Bourke Street mall here in Melbourne several weeks ago. That’s Melbourne, Australia not Melbourne, Florida… ---
**Author:** ![Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krisfer_the_Cat)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-foolish-ignorant-girl-you-make-me-feel-old/223722/48 "2004-01-11T17:00:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Stoid \* > \*\* > There’s a REASON that Mormons don’t start The Discussions by explaining tp you that you and your husband will be to gods of your own planet, ya know? They are smart enough to know that you don’t begin with the craziest shit you believe, you work your way up to it. > > \*\* Thanks for the best laugh I have had all weekend! 😃 😃 ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-foolish-ignorant-girl-you-make-me-feel-old/223722/49 "2004-01-11T19:21:50Z")
Every couple of years I happen upon one-usually at the Post Office. The seem to have the same zeal as fundie preachers, just pimping a different saviour. Tactics are similar-ignore the fellow. Once, the guy lightly grabbed my arm as I passed, hoping to convert me on the spot, I suppose. Invading my personal space is not a good thing to do. A brief exchange followed, and he withdrew, not wishing to see if I would _really_ break his fucking arm and shove the card table up his ass. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-foolish-ignorant-girl-you-make-me-feel-old/223722/50 "2004-01-11T20:51:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BubbaDog \* > \*\*My guess - a rabbit with a mormans hat stpled to its head. \*\* Now **that** is funny! And it’s got me imagining what a jacke **pope** would look like. ---
**Author:** ![dre2xl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/34f0e0/32.png) [@dre2xl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dre2xl)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2004, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-foolish-ignorant-girl-you-make-me-feel-old/223722/51 "2004-01-12T13:23:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by big\_yellow\_kingswood \* > **I’ve never heard of this guy before, and I’m quite interested in US politics. I feel I’ve been missing something entertaining.** LaRouche’s a cult-like figure among many young college students. You won’t hear him reported much, but I see a lot of his followers out there. He should be smart, start his own religion, and retire rich instead of pursuing politics. > [@](#): > > I tried reading [this page](http://larouchein2004.net/pages/biography.htm) “Long-Wave Vernadsky Cycles”? “Geobiochemistry”? “Our Planet’s Noëtic Regions”? This guy has enough material to make a college major out of himself. If you can get a degree in Ecofeminism, you oughta be able to get a degree in LaRouche-ism… and I bet there’ll be lots of sucker college students to sign up for it and fork $130,000 for 4 years of school. ---
**Author:** ![robby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robby/32/11048_2.png) [@robby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robby)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2004, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-foolish-ignorant-girl-you-make-me-feel-old/223722/52 "2004-01-14T18:53:22Z")
\ Great signature, **Xploder**. This is one of my favorite quotes of all time. You may be interested to know that you are misquoting it, though, (in fact, it is part of a much larger passage) and that his middle name is **Stuart**. The relevant excerpt is properly quoted as: > [@](#): > > War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things: the decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks nothing _worth_ a war, is worse…A man who has nothing which he is willing to fight for, nothing which he cares more about than he does about his personal safety, is a miserable creature who has no chance of being free, unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself… Source: [http://www.bartleby.com/73/1934.html](http://www.bartleby.com/73/1934.html) \ ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2004, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-foolish-ignorant-girl-you-make-me-feel-old/223722/53 "2004-01-14T23:03:51Z")
> [@](#): > > Now, I did not know until these fresh-faced folk showed up at my door that Mr. LaRouche was running for president. Where have you been the last coupla decades? LaRouche is _always_ running for President. Methinks he gets his rocks off seeing his name on the ballot next to the future President of the United States. I wonder how much it would cost to get a name of the ballot? I’d be willing to throw in a buck or two and sign a petition to get Uncle Cece’s name on the 04 ballot next to LaRouche, W and (Dean/Kerry/Lieberman/et al). ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_H](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a5b964/32.png) [@Bill\_H](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_H)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-foolish-ignorant-girl-you-make-me-feel-old/223722/54 "2004-01-15T05:23:03Z")
I’m reading over his site; it’s like a pit rant. Some fun quotes: John Ashcroft: “His thinking is in the tradition of Nazi law. We don’t need Nazis in the United States!” New Gingrich: “We had Newt Gangrene” "Privatization of Government services: “Privatization is a modern term for what used to be called castration.” Dick Cheny (repeatedly refers to him as “Beastman Cheny”): “What Cheny represents is the same kind of threat that Adolf Hitler represented in 1933-34 and beyond. If we don’t stop it now, we’ll find out what happened in Germany, as our own experience, now” Hey wait a second. These sound like **Stoid** quotes! ---
**Author:** ![Sanscour](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f475e1/32.png) [@Sanscour](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sanscour)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-foolish-ignorant-girl-you-make-me-feel-old/223722/55 "2004-01-15T06:35:52Z")
LifeonWry, that story made my day, especially the comment the old woman made the week before she died. Put a smile on my face, I would have paid to have seen her chase that woman down. Sanscour ---
**Author:** ![Blackclaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e68b1a/32.png) [@Blackclaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackclaw)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-foolish-ignorant-girl-you-make-me-feel-old/223722/56 "2004-01-15T15:01:27Z")
LaRouche is 80. I’m going to be very sad when he passes away because then his wacko followers will have to find something else to do with their time and it will probably be something more annoying. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-foolish-ignorant-girl-you-make-me-feel-old/223722.md?page=2)