# You fucking, jerk-offs.... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 12, 2000, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-fucking-jerk-offs/36620 "2000-10-12T01:29:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2000, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-fucking-jerk-offs/36620/21 "2000-10-13T17:43:30Z")
I celebrate two birthdays each year- my belly-button birthday and my sober b-day (10 years coming up!). Even the hubby forgets them. My mom, my sis-in-law, and one friend are usually the only people who get it right. Hell, my mother-in-law schedules shit on my special days ON PURPOSE… I NEVER forget friends & loved ones’ special occaisions! I even send a card to two friends on the anniversay of when they started DATING (they’ve been married forever, but it’s still fun). Happy damn birthday sk8! If you give me the exact date I won’t miss it next time! I promise! ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2000, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-fucking-jerk-offs/36620/22 "2000-10-13T18:26:21Z")
I do celebrate my coming out anniversary every year. (14 years in January, baby!) Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Muskoka9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Muskoka9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muskoka9)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2000, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-fucking-jerk-offs/36620/23 "2000-10-13T18:41:52Z")
> [@](#): > > Everyone forgot my 16th birthday. Parents, grandparents, friends…everyone. > I guess it was a busy year. **Gravity** ; Wow! How did you get Molly Ringwald to play you in the movie version of your autobiography? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2000, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-fucking-jerk-offs/36620/24 "2000-10-13T19:18:03Z")
'Sprix… I found out about your birthday late. I went to Barnes and Noble, but they were sold out of _The Complete Works of Henry Emerson Fosdick_. So then I priced a round-trip ticket to Montreal, to be packaged with an English-French-Esperanto dictionary. No luck there. Then I went and tried to rent a bottom willing to make the trip to Philly on short notice. Do you know how hard it was to make the Raleigh cops believe I was trying to pick you up a birthday present? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2000, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-fucking-jerk-offs/36620/25 "2000-10-13T20:18:07Z")
**Poly** , you crack me up - thanks. 😃 Esprix ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2000, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-fucking-jerk-offs/36620/26 "2000-10-13T20:26:09Z")
Gee Poly, at least _I_ thought to get him an Asian bottom! Gotta remember the Details!😉 ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2000, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-fucking-jerk-offs/36620/27 "2000-10-13T20:29:53Z")
If you did, he got lost in the mail. Damn UPS. Harumph. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Welfy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e56c9b/32.png) [@Welfy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Welfy)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2000, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-fucking-jerk-offs/36620/28 "2000-10-13T20:51:16Z")
Everyone forgot my birthday this year, too. Friends, family…it sucked. Even this message board forgot. Luckily, the old AOL board remembered…but they couldn’t remember how old I was anyway, though a few knew. My school friends all just kind of shrugged and said, “Oh yeah…happy birthday.” No cards, no nothing. Luckily, I was surprised at home with a cake and a few presents. Then boyfriend Ray, best friend Paul, and Chris showed up unexpectedly, laden with goofy gifts that only loyal friends could give, and they took me out to dinner at the restaurant of my choice. It was a wonderful night; they treat me like a princess. I’m glad they did that for me or else I would have been a really depressed welf (as if I’m not depressed enough). Oh yeah, and a bouquet of flowers and a teddy bear from Ray showed up at school. I was so touched. That’s when people actually started waking up and saying, “Wow Welfy, it’s your birthday? I would have gotten you a card…” Yeah right, morons; you never knew what day my birthday was in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2000, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-fucking-jerk-offs/36620/29 "2000-10-14T03:26:02Z")
This is why I remind people when it’s my birthday; I don’t expect anyone to remember (well, except for my mom). “Hey, guess what? It’s my birthday!” Works like a charm. I have no shame. That is how I got the serenade from the Flying Karamazov Brothers and the date with the stagehand. So there ya go. Happy birthday to everybody who got forgotten–I’m not unsympathetic to you, I just prefer to leave nothing to chance. **EJsGirl** , congrats on 10 years! I celebrated my 10th back in June. ---
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2000, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-fucking-jerk-offs/36620/30 "2000-10-14T23:29:27Z")
I know I’m a little late, but Happy Birthday. Mr. sk8, did you get any good presents? ---
**Author:** ![sk8rixtx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/858c86/32.png) [@sk8rixtx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sk8rixtx)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2000, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-fucking-jerk-offs/36620/31 "2000-10-15T23:27:55Z")
I just got the “cash-monies.” Yip, no car. Gotta’ buy that one on my own. And insurance, (damn, i can’t spell for shit, not that i want shit.) whooo, you people know CT, “Insurance (there’s that fucking word again) Capital of The World” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-fucking-jerk-offs/36620.md?page=1)