Franz Ferdinand’s Jacqueline:
“It’s always better on holiday
So much better on holiday
That’s why we only work when
We need the money”
I initially heard it as “That’s why we only work when we need the booty.” I really like mine better. It’s gotten so bad that when I hear the song now, when it gets to that line I change it even further on purpose and uproariously sing “That’s why we only work when we need Djibouti!”
I have to say I like your version better too. It sounds like something Leonard Cohen would come up with.
I submit Coldplay’s “Speed of Sound.”
Real lyrics:
“And birds go flying at the speed of sound, to show you how it all began.”
Erdosain’s lyrics:
“And words go flying at the speed of sound, to show you how it all began.”
I mean, birds? Give me a break, Chris Martin. How many birds can reach Mach 1? At least words actually do travel at the speed of sound. The real version makes no sense compared to mine.
from A Whiter Shade of Pale, I’ve always heard, “and its faded now to Goldstein”
instead of and her face just turns all ghostly
ahem
I wasn’t expecting this, but it’s true: most of these lyrics are improvements on the originals.
Ditto this for me, except I thought it was “hey love”, and I didn’t know the name of the song at the time. I still like mine better; it sounds as if he’s singing to love as a concept, submitting to its power and begging it to ease his weary mind. Who the hell is Layla? (Don’t answer that. Point is, mine doesn’t need backstory. :D)
You don’t want to know who Layla was? Clapton never made a secret of it.
Pretty interesting story…though I would have thought anyone tuned into music enough to have your Doper name would already know.
P.S. - (missed the edit window) There should have been a 
at the end of my post above. Somehow it got omitted when I rephrased the comment and the comment appears unduly brusque as a result. My apologies to RO if it did.
The song “Kiss From a Rose” by Seal. The actual lyrics are:
*I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey
…kiss from a rose on the grey.
Ooh,
The more I get of you,
Ooh…
Stranger it feels, yeah
And now that your rose is is in bloom
A light hits the gloom on the grey*
But I heard “kiss from a rose on the grave”, which evoked for me the love-beyond-death trope of authors like Edgar Allan Poe.
The “little skirt climbing way up her knee” in Aerosmith’s Walk This Way becomes a leather skirt in my version. I think it works better for a sassy rebellious schoolgirl.
I’ve been hearing “grave” all these years too. I don’t even get what a rose on the grey is. What is the grey?!
Heh…I did already know the story; I love me some Clapton. I was just defending the honor of my misheard lyric. Maybe my post should have had a 
after it.
[offtopic] Incidentally SA, I am going to get back to you soon. Been a bit caught up lately; holiday hooplah and all that. [/offtopic]
[offtopic] Thanks. I was beginning to wonder if perhaps I’d said something I oughtn’t. [/offtopic]
Um…to be specific
Jane Wielen’s Rush Hour
Actual:
It’s so good
Baby when you’re at the wheel
I can’t believe the way I feel
I thought:
It’s so good
It’s better when you’re at the wheel
I can’t believe the way I feel
I heard that halfway in-between as “And there’s a rose in a distant glove.” A poetic symbol of romance that’s somewhere else, but not here right now.
I heard the words as “There’s a warm wind blowing the stars around, and I’d really love to see you tonight” - I believe the real lyrics are “There’s a warm wind blowing, the stars are out, and I’d really love to see you tonight.”
Myself, I kind of like the picture of the warm wind and hoped-for romance leaving the fellow a little bit dizzy, and he hopes that she feels the same.
If I had known the title of the song, it would have helped, but what I always heard on the radio as a kid was “Keep it down now, this is scary.” The actual lyric is “Keep it down now, voices carry” and the song is, of course, “Voices Carry” by Til Tuesday.
Okay, I don’t know the name of the song any more, but in the middle of it, this female voice says:
“Quiet, big boys don’t cry” over and over
And I always thought it was :
“Quiet, be poised and quiet”
And then there’s the Eagles’ from “Take it Easy”
With “Lighten up while you still can…”
Which I took to mean “Light one up while you still can…”
Q
What is it with Bowie? “China Girl” (though really Iggy Pop):
My little China girl you shouldn’t mess with me
I’ll ruin everything you are
You know I’ll give you television, I’ll give you eyes of blue
I’ll give you a man who wants to rule the world
I always heard (and still hear, dagnabit) the last line as “I’ll give you man o’ wars to rule the world”. You know, man o’ war as in the 19th century battleship. Opium War, Western rape of the orient and all that. China’s doors opened to consumerism (television, eyes of blue) and imperialistic ambitions on its own accord.
Oh well.
The song is 10cc’s I’m Not In Love