# You have $50 billion; what spiteful thing would you do? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 31, 2011, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-50-billion-what-spiteful-thing-would-you-do/601405 "2011-10-31T18:24:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Yumblie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/76d3ee/32.png) [@Yumblie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yumblie)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2011, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-50-billion-what-spiteful-thing-would-you-do/601405/101 "2011-11-28T01:56:25Z")
I’d pay George Lucas to remake the Star Wars Holiday Special, and release it to theaters. Or better yet, produce a sequel, but this time instead of focusing on Chewbacca’s family, it focuses on Jar Jar’s family. ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2011, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-50-billion-what-spiteful-thing-would-you-do/601405/102 "2011-11-28T02:01:14Z")
Hell, I would be spiteful BEFORE I bought the mansions, hookers, cocaine, cars, and vacations. Wouldn’t want to run out of money before I ran out of people I want to feel my wrath! ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2011, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-50-billion-what-spiteful-thing-would-you-do/601405/103 "2011-11-28T02:01:46Z")
> [@Yumblie](#): > > I’d pay George Lucas to remake the Star Wars Holiday Special, and release it to theaters. > > Or better yet, produce a sequel, but this time instead of focusing on Chewbacca’s family, it focuses on Jar Jar’s family. Make it a six hour special and buy the airtime on Christmas Eve, on _every_ network, both broadcast and cable. There will be no escape. ---
**Author:** ![Snow\_Pea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Snow\_Pea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snow_Pea)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2011, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-50-billion-what-spiteful-thing-would-you-do/601405/104 "2011-11-28T02:07:39Z")
Give everyone living there 30 days to evacuate, then nuke the Middle East, including Mecca and Jerusalem. With nothing left to fight over, maybe the sand-monkeys will stop terrorizing the rest of the world. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2011, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-50-billion-what-spiteful-thing-would-you-do/601405/105 "2011-11-28T02:42:27Z")
> [@Snow\_Pea](#): > > Give everyone living there 30 days to evacuate, then nuke the Middle East, including Mecca and Jerusalem. With nothing left to fight over, maybe the sand-monkeys will stop terrorizing the rest of the world. That’s just lovely. ---
**Author:** ![Snow\_Pea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Snow\_Pea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snow_Pea)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2011, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-50-billion-what-spiteful-thing-would-you-do/601405/106 "2011-11-28T02:52:31Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > That’s just lovely. You don’t think ending terrorism is worth 50 billion? ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2011, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-50-billion-what-spiteful-thing-would-you-do/601405/107 "2011-11-28T02:55:22Z")
> [@Snow\_Pea](#): > > You don’t think ending terrorism is worth 50 billion? Hell, it wouldnt have to end terrorism. If it just ended all the bitching and moaning that region generates it would be worth it. ---
**Author:** ![Snow\_Pea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Snow\_Pea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snow_Pea)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2011, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-50-billion-what-spiteful-thing-would-you-do/601405/108 "2011-11-28T02:56:31Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > Hell, it wouldnt have to end terrorism. If it just ended all the bitching and moaning that region generates it would be worth it. Agreed. I should have specified “religion-based terrorism”. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2011, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-50-billion-what-spiteful-thing-would-you-do/601405/109 "2011-11-28T03:00:23Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Make it a six hour special and buy the airtime on Christmas Eve, on _every_ network, both broadcast and cable. There will be no escape. That takes the cake. You are the new Overlord of Evil. So, you’ll be pushing Quadruple HD with glasses-free 3D into everyone’s homes for this, right? Or, better yet, those new [video contact lenses](http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2008/01/080129-bionic-eye.html)? Nothing there a little R&D push won’t commercialize. ---
**Author:** ![ShelliBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@ShelliBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShelliBean)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2011, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-50-billion-what-spiteful-thing-would-you-do/601405/110 "2011-11-28T03:58:31Z")
My first husband has pretty much done himself in without my help. He now lives in a tent. I would buy him a house and furnish it and never let him forget it was me that paid for it. My second husband - he is a conman, probably some serious mental problems going on there. After I paid for him to relinquish rights to all the kids he’s fathered and abandoned I’d hire someone to track all the lies he’s told and make it all public. He would self combust. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2011, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-50-billion-what-spiteful-thing-would-you-do/601405/111 "2011-11-28T04:26:07Z")
> [@Yumblie](#): > > I’d pay George Lucas to remake the Star Wars Holiday Special, and release it to theaters. > > Or better yet, produce a sequel, but this time instead of focusing on Chewbacca’s family, it focuses on Jar Jar’s family. SPITEFUL! SPITEFUL! Not EVIL! ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2011, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-50-billion-what-spiteful-thing-would-you-do/601405/112 "2011-11-28T12:09:44Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > I’d buy the rights to every popular and/or iconic SF/Fantasy novel, play or whatever and hire Paul Verhoeven to direct the movie versions. > > Then I’d buy the Yankees and move them to Newark. I would have Verhoeven broken … so he could never again fuck up a SF book with his 'visions’ever again. I would buy the rights to every single Hemmingway scribble, and refuse publication every again, I would destroy all the manuscripts, printing plates, printing files, everything. I would refuse to let any school system study his crap ever again. I would also do the same with every single book I had to read in school - nobody would ever be forced to read My Darling My Hamburger, Still Waters Run Deep, or any other uplifting twaddle ever again. Instead I would take the 50 billion that I am to do good with, and make DECENT entertaining books of short story and poetry compilations with teaching crap, history books without bias, science books without bias, and come up with a logical home ec curriculum that covers a bit of everything from nutrition to budget planning to home repair, sewing, light cooking and a bit of auto maintenance. And make the materials available to schools at a reasonable low cost. [with e-files of the materials available along with the hard copies in case the kids want it on tablets or netbooks.] ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2011, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-50-billion-what-spiteful-thing-would-you-do/601405/113 "2011-11-28T14:45:09Z")
> [@Al\_Bundy](#): > > I’d further my goals and causes, but beyond that nothing spiteful. Holding a grudge is letting someone or something occupy your mind rent free. Plus it’s just bad Karma for you. > > I would feel very anxious in not being able to place all that money to good use right away, but hopefully I would have enough time to establish an ongoing trust that would be able to further my causes eventually. > > In my opinion, spite is for losers. I know I posted about how White Castle now caters & how it its distinctive steamed-onion scent could be delivered to various black-tie & fine crystal events of the entitled & assholish… but then I’d be just as bad as they are. Thank you for reminding me of one very imortant truth that bears repeating: > [@Al\_Bundy](#): > > spite is for losers. You got it in One. Nice. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2011, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-50-billion-what-spiteful-thing-would-you-do/601405/114 "2011-11-28T15:00:01Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > … > Instead I would take the 50 billion that I am to do good with, and make DECENT entertaining books of short story and poetry compilations with teaching crap, history books without bias, science books without bias, and come up with a logical home ec curriculum that covers a bit of everything from nutrition to budget planning to home repair, sewing, light cooking and a bit of auto maintenance. And make the materials available to schools at a reasonable low cost. [with e-files of the materials available along with the hard copies in case the kids want it on tablets or netbooks.] Go make another thread. This thread is for evil deeds. ---
**Author:** ![HubZilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ccd318/32.png) [@HubZilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HubZilla)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2011, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-50-billion-what-spiteful-thing-would-you-do/601405/115 "2011-11-29T03:10:12Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > I live in Topeka, the same city Fred Phelps and his Westboro Baptist Church are lurking. No way, I’d take my billions and fully fund the Westboro Baptist Church, so they can really grow and spread their message. No funeral would be safe. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2011, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-50-billion-what-spiteful-thing-would-you-do/601405/116 "2011-11-29T10:37:00Z")
I like how “nuking the entire Middle East and all the ‘sand monkeys’” is somehow less evil than “making a Star Wars Christmas Special sequel featuring Jar-Jar Binks”. ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2011, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-50-billion-what-spiteful-thing-would-you-do/601405/117 "2011-11-29T14:34:52Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > I like how “nuking the entire Middle East and all the ‘sand monkeys’” is somehow less evil than “making a Star Wars Christmas Special sequel featuring Jar-Jar Binks”. Lets face it, nuking your home state is still less evil than a Star Wars Christmas Special squel with Jar-Jar Binks. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2011, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-50-billion-what-spiteful-thing-would-you-do/601405/118 "2011-11-29T15:01:17Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > I like how “nuking the entire Middle East and all the ‘sand monkeys’” is somehow less evil than “making a Star Wars Christmas Special sequel featuring Jar-Jar Binks”. Certain types might find the former a good use of the money. **Nobody** approves of the latter. Not even Hitler. ---
**Author:** ![straight\_man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/straight_man/32/3027_2.png) [@straight\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/straight_man)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-50-billion-what-spiteful-thing-would-you-do/601405/119 "2011-11-30T04:51:01Z")
Heh. And to think, I was feeling bad about myself because, when I read the nuke-Jerusalem-and-Mecca-and-Medina thing, my first reaction was not moral horror but “You couldn’t do that successfully for only $50 billion!” (Moral horror came next.) ---
**Author:** ![EKDS5k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c5a1d2/32.png) [@EKDS5k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EKDS5k)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-50-billion-what-spiteful-thing-would-you-do/601405/120 "2011-11-30T06:29:04Z")
> [@Orionizer](#): > > I’d buy Apple. > > I’d allow stores to discount whatever they wanted to of my product, as long as I’d been paid for it upfront. If they lose money, that’s their problem. > > I’d also open the OS to allow it to be used on any PC it’ll run on. > > I’m sick of the Apple monopoly and nobody does a damn thing about it! I would buy all the iPads and iPhones, from every store, everywhere. Then put them in a huge pile and burn them on national TV. I guess I could make it a weekly thing, as they produce and ship more units. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-50-billion-what-spiteful-thing-would-you-do/601405.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-50-billion-what-spiteful-thing-would-you-do/601405.md?page=7)