# You have a Star Trek TOS Type 2 Phaser. What now? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 11, 2010, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425 "2010-09-11T19:04:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425/41 "2010-09-12T18:44:09Z")
> [@Sage\_Rat](#): > > > [@Lobohan](#): > > > > You could also open up a bank vault in seconds and probably be off before the police know anything at all. > > Dodgy. You’d have to take out all of the cameras or you’d be caught on tape. Your better bet would be assassinations to pervert the stock market, robbing armored cars, and home invasions. Or tunnel in from below. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425/42 "2010-09-12T20:08:52Z")
Give it to the Mythbusters and see what happens. OK, Jamie and I are behind the protective acrylic wall and now we’re going to set off some C4 charges right under this thing and see what happens! ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425/43 "2010-09-12T21:57:42Z")
Answer the door. Jehovah’s Witnesses, Cut-Co salesmen, and Girl Scouts take note. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425/44 "2010-09-12T22:02:50Z")
Set up a bunch of mirrors, practice making bank shots. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425/45 "2010-09-12T22:06:16Z")
Oooh, better idea! Modify it to fit inside a customized visor, go to Halloween parties as Cyclops. ---
**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425/46 "2010-09-12T22:09:16Z")
sell it to the chinese ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425/47 "2010-09-12T22:10:58Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Modify it to fit inside a customized visor, go to Halloween parties as Cyclops. Or as Gort. “Gort! Klaatu barada nikto” “er, Gort! Here’s fifty bucks!” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425/48 "2010-09-12T22:11:18Z")
Protip: A TOS Phaser II [actually has a much smaller Phaser I docked with it](http://www.tk560.com/weapons/weapons-Images/15.jpg). You can remove this and use it. It will even still disintegrate people, but less efficiently, I suppose. This is important if you want to sneak it into prison in the ole’ meat-pocket. ---
**Author:** ![Bearflag70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425/49 "2010-09-12T22:24:24Z")
I’d disintegrate the slow guy in the fast lane. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425/50 "2010-09-12T22:29:34Z")
> [@Lobohan](#): > > Protip: A TOS Phaser II [actually has a much smaller Phaser I docked with it](http://www.tk560.com/weapons/weapons-Images/15.jpg). You can remove this and use it. It will even still disintegrate people, but less efficiently, I suppose. This is important if you want to sneak it into prison in the ole’ meat-pocket. Definitely a situation where you do NOT want to clench… ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425/51 "2010-09-12T22:30:40Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > > [@Lobohan](#): > > > > Protip: A TOS Phaser II [actually has a much smaller Phaser I docked with it](http://www.tk560.com/weapons/weapons-Images/15.jpg). You can remove this and use it. It will even still disintegrate people, but less efficiently, I suppose. This is important if you want to sneak it into prison in the ole’ meat-pocket. > > Definitely a situation where you do NOT want to clench… I guess it depends on which side is pointing out. It might make prison a lot easier. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425/52 "2010-09-13T02:06:34Z")
I’d rather have the off-button hypospray, myself. But I guess I could use the phaser to help with insomnia instead. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425/53 "2010-09-13T02:11:12Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > But I guess I could use the phaser to help with insomnia instead. I understand that Michael Jackson had a problem with that. > [@](#): > > This forum requires that you wait 60 seconds between posts. Please try again in 1 seconds. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425/54 "2010-09-13T04:42:01Z")
1 Go to the next Star Trek convention. 2 Trekkies make me their King. 3 Get laid. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Controvert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@The\_Controvert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Controvert)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425/55 "2010-09-13T05:13:10Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > 1 Go to the next Star Trek convention. > > 2 Trekkies make me their King. > > 3 Get laid. Hmm, too risky. Someone could take your phaser during your refractory period and you could end up disappearing into a puff of air. Since people mentioned murder sprees upthread, why not rape and murder sprees? You could stun people, have your way, and then vaporize them. :eek: As far as robbing a bank, I think a more noble route would be to use the phaser to single-handedly capture bin Laden and collect the $50 million reward. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425/56 "2010-09-13T07:14:03Z")
> [@](#): > > As far as robbing a bank, I think a more noble route would be to use the phaser to single-handedly capture bin Laden and collect the $50 million reward. How would this be any easier with a phaser than with a plain ordinary gun? Because I’m sure plenty of gun-toters have already tried that one and failed. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Controvert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@The\_Controvert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Controvert)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425/57 "2010-09-13T13:36:00Z")
A gun cannot do most of the things described in the OP. Wide angle stun field? Cutting through solid rock? A phaser is a huge force multiplier. You can stun people and kidnap them. Tie them up and demonstrate the vaporization mode to get them to reveal his location. Then you could cut a backdoor to the cave he’s in. Or stun the area and stroll in. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425/58 "2010-09-13T14:46:42Z")
I’d do my best to hold back the Yangs. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425/59 "2010-09-13T14:51:35Z")
100 fewer red light runners in this city would be a good start. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425/60 "2010-09-13T15:50:47Z")
> [@The\_Controvert](#): > > A phaser is a huge force multiplier. You can stun people and kidnap them. Tie them up and demonstrate the vaporization mode to get them to reveal his location. Then you could cut a backdoor to the cave he’s in. Or stun the area and stroll in. None of which make YOU invulnerable to return fire. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425.md?page=4)