# You have a Star Trek TOS Type 2 Phaser. What now? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 11, 2010, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425 "2010-09-11T19:04:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425/61 "2010-09-13T15:57:15Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > I’d do my best to hold back the Yangs. Ooooh! One of my favorite Simply Red songs. ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425/62 "2010-09-13T15:58:32Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > > [@The\_Controvert](#): > > > > A phaser is a huge force multiplier. You can stun people and kidnap them. Tie them up and demonstrate the vaporization mode to get them to reveal his location. Then you could cut a backdoor to the cave he’s in. Or stun the area and stroll in. > > None of which make YOU invulnerable to return fire. True. I think you’d have to use the weapon by surprise. You can probably stun a group of insurgents. But what about the guy on the periphery that is just outside the beam? ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425/63 "2010-09-13T16:30:08Z")
For that matter, unless the phaser has a Universal Translator built in, I hope you’re fluent in Pashtun or Arabic or whatever. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Elk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Anne\_Elk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Elk)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425/64 "2010-09-13T17:20:46Z")
I would have to destroy it. To possess it would be a violation of the prime directive. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425/65 "2010-09-13T17:36:22Z")
Does the phaser come with an Intergalactic Serial Bus port? If it does, I would be able to recharge it in my space plane. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425/66 "2010-09-13T22:02:16Z")
Not enough power to be really useful, and too much power to keep hidden. I think I’d hire a plane, fly over the middle of the Pacific Ocean, strap the batteries to the phaser, set it on overload and toss it out from 7000 feet or so. Let it vaporize a hunk of salt water. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425/67 "2010-09-14T01:28:47Z")
> [@Lobohan](#): > > True. I think you’d have to use the weapon by surprise. You can probably stun a group of insurgents. But what about the guy on the periphery that is just outside the beam? I’m reminded of a quote from Chuck Yeager: “The first time I saw a jet, I shot it down.” ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425/68 "2010-09-14T01:37:25Z")
[QUOTE=Ranchoth;12911561 I’m reminded of a quote from Chuck Yeager: “The first time I saw a jet, I shot it down.”[/QUOTE] I’d love to have a cite for that. Korean war, he in a mustang shot down a MIG? ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425/69 "2010-09-14T02:21:55Z")
Look, I don’t know about the rest of youse mugs, but I know I want a Piece of the Action. Edit: Plant, do… uh, you know anything about the career of Chuck Yeager? He shot down two ME-262s during WWII. The quote, if not true, is accurate. It is, however, commonly attributed to him. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425/70 "2010-09-14T03:38:05Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > > [@BigT](#): > > > > But I guess I could use the phaser to help with insomnia instead. > > I understand that Michael Jackson had a problem with that. Yes, but, as far as I can tell, phasers don’t cause depressed respiration. At least, I can’t think of any time a doctor was required to resuscitate a phaser victim. What good is a stun setting that can accidentally kill? I think my mistake would have been to use the offbutton hypospray, which seems to require another hypospray to wake you back up. And, anyways, I’d probably be too chicken to use either one. How do we know it doesn’t hurt? ---
**Author:** ![Jimson\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/838e76/32.png) [@Jimson\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimson_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425/71 "2010-09-14T13:29:51Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > [QUOTE=Ranchoth;12911561 > I’m reminded of a quote from Chuck Yeager: “The first time I saw a jet, I shot it down.”[/QUOTE] > > I’d love to have a cite for that. Korean war, he in a mustang shot down a MIG? According to [Wiki](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chuck_Yeager) He shot down a ME 262 while flying a P-51D. As to the OP. I’d put on a public demonstration maybe melt an old tank like they have at some city parks. Then offer it to the highest bidder. I’d rather have the cash. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Controvert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@The\_Controvert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Controvert)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425/72 "2010-09-14T15:04:55Z")
> [@Jimson\_Jim](#): > > As to the OP. I’d put on a public demonstration maybe melt an old tank like they have at some city parks. Then offer it to the highest bidder. I’d rather have the cash. So how do you stop someone from paying you $50 million for it, then using it to stun you and rob you of $50 million? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425/73 "2010-09-14T17:09:25Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > What good is a stun setting that can accidentally kill? Well, it would be a great excuse in certain situations. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425/74 "2010-09-14T20:54:15Z")
Eet must be the waydiation. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425/75 "2010-09-14T20:55:31Z")
> [@The\_Controvert](#): > > > [@Zebra](#): > > > > 1 Go to the next Star Trek convention. > > > > 2 Trekkies make me their King. > > > > 3 Get laid. > > Hmm, too risky. Someone could take your phaser during your refractory period and you could end up disappearing into a puff of air. That’s after I got laid right? So who cares? ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2010, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425/76 "2010-09-15T21:02:45Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Eet must be the waydiation. [Fry] Say ‘nuclear wessal’ [/Fry] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-a-star-trek-tos-type-2-phaser-what-now/553425.md?page=3)