# You have eight hours access to Wolfram & Hart's universal library. What do you read? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 8, 2009, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-eight-hours-access-to-wolfram-harts-universal-library-what-do-you-read/480396 "2009-01-08T17:21:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2009, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-eight-hours-access-to-wolfram-harts-universal-library-what-do-you-read/480396/21 "2009-01-10T15:33:23Z")
> [@The\_Second\_Stone](#): > > Shakespeare’s play “Thomas More” which is lost. Of course we don’t know if it was ever written down. But if it was, was it as good as “A Man for All Seasons”? It wasn’t lost, and most of it isn’t by Shakespeare. It is a collaborative effort, of which Shakespeare (probably) wrote about a page. If you’re curious, you can easily [order a copy](http://www.amazon.com/Sir-Thomas-More-Anthony-Munday/dp/0719016320/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1231601174&sr=1-3). Since everyone has already mentioned _Love’s Labour’s Won_, I’d order up the Ur-Hamlet and start copying like crazy. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2009, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-eight-hours-access-to-wolfram-harts-universal-library-what-do-you-read/480396/22 "2009-01-10T16:29:01Z")
_The Book of Love_. All five chapters. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2009, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-eight-hours-access-to-wolfram-harts-universal-library-what-do-you-read/480396/23 "2009-01-10T16:47:05Z")
A couple of ground rule questions before I answer: does the book have to be known to either exist/have existed, or can it be a book that is rumored to have existed/may have existed (Capote’s _Answered Prayers_ for instance, which some say he finished and others dispute, or “show me a missing play from Shakespeare”, etc.)? For that matter, can you request a book that has never existed but should have as in Lucien’s library in _The Sandman_ (“Show me what Mark Twain’s essays on the 2008 Election or the autobiography of Jesus of Nazareth would have read like” for example)? ---
**Author:** ![Ronald\_C.Semone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/cc9497/32.png) [@Ronald\_C.Semone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ronald_C.Semone)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2009, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-eight-hours-access-to-wolfram-harts-universal-library-what-do-you-read/480396/24 "2009-01-10T19:44:45Z")
The Diaries of Sir Richard Burton which his wife burned after his death because they were “so foul.” ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2009, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-eight-hours-access-to-wolfram-harts-universal-library-what-do-you-read/480396/25 "2009-01-10T20:38:44Z")
The Red Book of Westmarch. Gotta see if Tolkien got it right! ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2009, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-eight-hours-access-to-wolfram-harts-universal-library-what-do-you-read/480396/26 "2009-01-14T20:31:34Z")
The world’s oldest joke book. Translated to English, with annotations, if possible. I’m just curious to see how well they’ve held up. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2009, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-eight-hours-access-to-wolfram-harts-universal-library-what-do-you-read/480396/27 "2009-01-14T21:14:15Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > A couple of ground rule questions before I answer: does the book have to be known to either exist/have existed, or can it be a book that is rumored to have existed/may have existed (Capote’s _Answered Prayers_ for instance, which some say he finished and others dispute, or “show me a missing play from Shakespeare”, etc.)? For that matter, can you request a book that has never existed but should have as in Lucien’s library in _The Sandman_ (“Show me what Mark Twain’s essays on the 2008 Election or the autobiography of Jesus of Nazareth would have read like” for example)? I think it has to actually exist, but there’s not going to be a penalty for asking for a book that doesn’t. In other words, if you ask for the original, in-Westron copy of the Red Book of Westmarch from which Tolkien translated _The Hobbit_ and _Lord of the Rings_, you’re going to get a response that no such book exists, so try something else. (And probably remark that you’re a dumbass. :D) ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2009, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-eight-hours-access-to-wolfram-harts-universal-library-what-do-you-read/480396/28 "2009-01-14T21:23:28Z")
The Collected Works of Shakespeare. In the original Klingon. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2009, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-eight-hours-access-to-wolfram-harts-universal-library-what-do-you-read/480396/29 "2009-01-14T21:25:53Z")
> [@Antinor01](#): > > The Collected Works of Shakespeare. In the original Klingon. Unless you read Klingon fluently, how on Earth will that be useful to you? You’ll just have to get the English translation, which is also available at Borders. ---
**Author:** ![Omi\_no\_Kami](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a88e4f/32.png) [@Omi\_no\_Kami](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omi_no_Kami)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2009, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-eight-hours-access-to-wolfram-harts-universal-library-what-do-you-read/480396/30 "2009-01-14T22:19:41Z")
I would ask for the original, serialized _Tale of Genji_, organized by date, so I could finally figure out how many chapters and authors the damn thing had. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2009, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-eight-hours-access-to-wolfram-harts-universal-library-what-do-you-read/480396/31 "2009-01-14T23:07:55Z")
I’d like to see the Christianity-debunking book Abraham Lincoln wrote when young (and then burned the only manuscript when a friend pointed out what that would mean for his political ambitions). ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2009, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-eight-hours-access-to-wolfram-harts-universal-library-what-do-you-read/480396/32 "2009-01-14T23:21:39Z")
Chicken Soup for the Christian Soul. I would like Yanni playing in the background and a glass of warm milk, thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2009, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-eight-hours-access-to-wolfram-harts-universal-library-what-do-you-read/480396/33 "2009-01-14T23:27:40Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > The Book of Life Mr. [Mister](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWyeVfuolT4)\*almost \*opens that book and lets love in. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-eight-hours-access-to-wolfram-harts-universal-library-what-do-you-read/480396.md?page=1)