# You have miraculous healing powers, best way to help people? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 28, 2018, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-miraculous-healing-powers-best-way-to-help-people/820441 "2018-08-28T23:53:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2018, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-miraculous-healing-powers-best-way-to-help-people/820441/41 "2018-09-03T07:22:01Z")
> [@MaxTheVool](#): > > Interesting hypothetical. A few comments: > > (a) There’s no way that I can just be a random guy who goes around healing people. > > (Shortened) Saved me a whole bunch of typing. It’s even more comprehensive than what I had thought, but I did have some ideas and this also inspired some more. My idea was to work with the Gates foundation. They have whole organizations which are already staffed, and can adopt to a new variable like this. They would be much better at identifying needs as well as logistics, security and schedules. They would be the gatekeepers to prevent overwork and getting overwhelmed. It needs to be noted that assuming an average of three minutes per healing, and working 40 hours a week, 50 weeks a year, will only be 40,000 healings per year, only a small drop if the bucket of the 57 million annual deaths and god know how many illnesses which didn’t kill in that year. This is a good case for not over working and getting burned out. It would take hundreds if not thousands of healers to have a significant impact. ---
**Author:** ![Atomic\_Alex](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atomic_alex/32/175_2.png) [@Atomic\_Alex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomic_Alex)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2018, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-miraculous-healing-powers-best-way-to-help-people/820441/42 "2018-09-03T08:56:23Z")
> [@blob](#): > > There are ways to encourage people to “agree”. Sure, though you could always kill yourself if it got to that point, then nobody wins. Though I do think you’re being overly cynical, is what you describe happening a possibility? Sure it is, but its very far from being certain. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2018, 9:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-miraculous-healing-powers-best-way-to-help-people/820441/43 "2018-09-03T09:31:00Z")
_Why_ would Mexican cartels want to grab me? Sure, they could make money at using me, but at much greater risk to scrutiny for themselves than their current lucrative activities. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2018, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-miraculous-healing-powers-best-way-to-help-people/820441/44 "2018-09-03T11:20:12Z")
> [@blob](#): > > IMDb has a full synopsis including what happens at the end of the movie. Ah. Found it. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2018, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-miraculous-healing-powers-best-way-to-help-people/820441/45 "2018-09-03T11:22:50Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > _Why_ would Mexican cartels want to grab me? Sure, they could make money at using me, but at much greater risk to scrutiny for themselves than their current lucrative activities. You’d presumably be able to cure narcotics addictions, which would be bad for their business. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2018, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-miraculous-healing-powers-best-way-to-help-people/820441/46 "2018-09-03T12:14:12Z")
> [@Atomic\_Alex](#): > > Sure, though you could always kill yourself if it got to that point, then nobody wins. Are you sure? Can a “universal healer” kill themselves? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2018, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-miraculous-healing-powers-best-way-to-help-people/820441/47 "2018-09-03T12:35:51Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > You’d presumably be able to cure narcotics addictions, which would be bad for their business. But I’m not going to, anyway - why would I cure something that is a) treatable by normal therapy and medication, and b) driven by outside factors such that the risk of relapse is so great. I’m no risk to the cartels. ---
**Author:** ![PoppaSan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/poppasan/32/189_2.png) [@PoppaSan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoppaSan)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2018, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-miraculous-healing-powers-best-way-to-help-people/820441/48 "2018-09-03T14:02:18Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I would take the opposite approach. I’d do a few televised miracles complete with representatives of the science community to assure my performance is valid. Then I’d challenge “organized religion” to a heal-a-thon. > > My amputees would regrow limbs while the pope would be struggling to cure a tension headache. The pope has never claimed he could do miracle cures or other faith healing. > [@MaxTheVool](#): > > Right. It would be disastrously stupid for me to just randomly say “hey, world, here’s my name, here’s my home address, also I can heal all ills!” > > But that’s why I proposed having a very serious amount of security surrounding me at all times. And once I have that, I think my fame will actually increase my security. I will presumably be the most beloved individual on earth, as I’m going around literally making hundreds of people’s lives immediately happier every day. If I’m killed or kidnapped, every single cancer patient in the world will want to save or avenge me. > Another thing I’d probably do is provide my service to everyone I work with and their families. So someone working on my security detail knows that as long as they keep their job and keep me alive, they never have to worry about sick kids or spouses or whatever. That’s a pretty strong incentive to do their job, on top of whatever professionalism they presumably already have. So you have no family that can be used to blackmail you with? I’m not sure your healing powers could handle a decapitation that happened two days before they found the rest of the body of your favorite niece. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2018, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-miraculous-healing-powers-best-way-to-help-people/820441/49 "2018-09-03T15:09:55Z")
> [@PoppaSan](#): > > So you have no family that can be used to blackmail you with? I’m not sure your healing powers could handle a decapitation that happened two days before they found the rest of the body of your favorite niece. Who is blackmailing me into doing what, and why? I certainly do have family and loved ones. But they, so do plenty of other celebrities and rich people and world leaders. Doesn’t mean that every moment of their existence is spent dealing with blackmail. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2018, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-miraculous-healing-powers-best-way-to-help-people/820441/50 "2018-09-05T20:10:06Z")
> [@TokyoBayer](#): > > . . . My idea was to work with the Gates foundation. They have whole organizations which are already staffed, and can adopt to a new variable like this. They would be much better at identifying needs as well as logistics, security and schedules. > > They would be the gatekeepers to prevent overwork and getting overwhelmed. . . . Gatekeepers would also help with scheduling to increase effectiveness. Since I’m targeting diseases that take a relatively long time to finally kill, I’d consider contacting insurance companies. Giving me a stipend and covering my travelling expenses would save them money. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2018, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-miraculous-healing-powers-best-way-to-help-people/820441/51 "2018-09-05T22:06:32Z")
How many insanely rich evil people who have incurable health problems are there in the world, anyway? Five? There are lots of insane people. There are lots of super-rich people. There are lots of evil people. There are lots of people with incurable health problems. What’s the intersection of that Venn diagram? When a rich person needs a kidney transplant, they don’t hire mercenaries to kidnap the best transplant surgeon in the world, and force them to operate at gunpoint. Instead they go to a hospital, and pay whatever the bill is. Same thing with rich people who need magic healing. They ask “how much”, I tell them “a lot”, they pay, and I use the money for whatever. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2018, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-miraculous-healing-powers-best-way-to-help-people/820441/52 "2018-09-05T22:15:31Z")
And yes, you’re gonna need security on the level of a Jeff Bezos or Mark Zuckerberg. I have no idea what kind of security they have, but whatever they have it’s going to have to be something like that. I honestly don’t understand the fear of ending up at Guantanamo Bay. What good will you accomplish there? Yeah, powerful and amoral people will want to use your power for their own ends. And how does locking me up accomplish that? The two-tier system of free healing by lottery, and expensive healing for the rich takes care of the incentives for Bill Gates to kidnap me and lock me in the basement of his mansion in Redmond. ---
**Author:** ![Scoobysnax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Scoobysnax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scoobysnax)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2018, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-miraculous-healing-powers-best-way-to-help-people/820441/53 "2018-09-06T19:56:21Z")
I can see one of two things happening: a) you are captured and detained by one of the super powers (U.S., Russia, or China) so that you can only cure the people they feel are worthy b) you are killed by a religious person that thinks that your abilities are an offense to god. I would only cure sick children. The world doesn’t need its 0.00001%ers living an extra 20-30 years. ---
**Author:** ![Atomic\_Alex](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atomic_alex/32/175_2.png) [@Atomic\_Alex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomic_Alex)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-miraculous-healing-powers-best-way-to-help-people/820441/54 "2018-09-07T18:53:43Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Are you sure? Can a “universal healer” kill themselves? 😕 It would be kind of ironic if the only person your healing power doesn’t work on is yourself. > [@TokyoBayer](#): > > It needs to be noted that assuming an average of three minutes per healing, and working 40 hours a week, 50 weeks a year, will only be 40,000 healings per year I’m glad someone put a figure on it, that really is a low number, even if you worked longer hours its still not that high. Though another way of looking at it is that over 30 years you could heal 1’200’000 people. which is nothing to sneeze at. > [@SamuelA](#): > > One comment : a true “healing power” would reverse age as well. It would turn a 100+ year old back into whatever is the healthiest biological age. (28 or 18 or 16 or whatever) I’m not sure that follows, it depends on whether you consider the natural process of ageing to be a disease or not. You could be seventy and in perfect health otherwise. btw if anyone is interested this thread was inspired by the story of Ze Arigo, a claimed Brazilian healer in the 1960’s: > **[Zé Arigó](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Z%C3%A9_Arig%C3%B3)** > > Zé Arigó (pseudonym of José Pedro de Freitas 18 October 1921 – 11 January 1971) was a faith healer and proponent of psychic surgery. He claimed to have performed psychic surgery with his hands or with simple kitchen utensils while in a mediumistic trance, therefore he was also known as the Surgeon of the Rusty Knife. During his operations he supposedly embodied the spirit of Dr. Adolf Fritz. > Zé Arigó was born José Pedro de Freitas on a farm located 6 kilometers from Congonhas do Campo, in the st... [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-miraculous-healing-powers-best-way-to-help-people/820441.md?page=2)