# You have the power to permanently eliminate any Christmas song... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 25, 2010, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836 "2010-11-25T00:46:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2010, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/61 "2010-11-25T18:44:00Z")
> [@Washoe](#): > > Dude, it’s a [Lennon song](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Happy_Xmas_%28War_Is_Over%29), and yeah—it makes me depressed as shit. But everything else mentioned in this thread should be wished into the cornfield before that one is dispatched. Gah, I should have known that voice was yoko ono. Whenever I hear that song and the chorus starts I ask “omg, who is that lady warbling? That has to be the most godawful voice I have ever heard.” ---
**Author:** ![luv2draw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/46a35a/32.png) [@luv2draw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/luv2draw)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2010, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/62 "2010-11-25T18:57:04Z")
> [@Raygun99](#): > > Holly Jolly Christmas, along with the rest of Burl Ives’ accursed repertoire. Yup, this is my vote too. I worked retail for a few years and this one was on the musak list. Got played at least once every day. I wanted to go in the office and rip the system right out of the wall… Why can’t they just have instrumentals? Now I do all I can to avoid shopping between Black Friday and Christmas. It’s too bad I need groceries regularly. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2010, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/63 "2010-11-25T19:17:38Z")
> [@Raygun99](#): > > Holly Jolly Christmas, along with the rest of Burl Ives’ accursed repertoire. What? Then that means no Rudolph special, and we can’t have that. ---
**Author:** ![Raygun99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Raygun99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raygun99)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2010, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/64 "2010-11-25T19:28:40Z")
> [@luv2draw](#): > > Yup, this is my vote too. I worked retail for a few years and this one was on the musak list. Got played at least once every day. I wanted to go in the office and rip the system right out of the wall… Why can’t they just have instrumentals? You just described my Toys R Us experience to a tee. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2010, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/65 "2010-11-26T00:29:40Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > All variations of _Santa Baby_. Have you heard Earth Kitt? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_A.Robrin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sam_a.robrin/32/14497_2.png) [@Sam\_A.Robrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_A.Robrin)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2010, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/66 "2010-11-26T05:18:22Z")
Barbra Streisand has a rendition of “Jingle Bells” that’s obviously supposed to be whimsical, but is just plain…_Barbra Streisand_. The first time I heard it, I was grocery-shopping; I left my cart in the middle of the aisle and ran from the store. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2010, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/67 "2010-11-26T05:21:46Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Have you heard Earth Kitt? > > 🙂 It’s a horrible song that not even Ms. Kitt can make tolerable. ---
**Author:** ![jackdavinci](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackdavinci/32/3259_2.png) [@jackdavinci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackdavinci)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2010, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/68 "2010-11-26T07:24:57Z")
Barking dogs Jingle Bells I had the misfortune this year of having this be the first Christmas song I was exposed to this holiday season. I mean, maybe, if they actually took different samples of dogs barking and put them together, this might be tolerable. But it’s just an 80’s synth with a single bark sample, resampled at different frequencies by playing it at different speeds. It’s the 80s version of autotune. ---
**Author:** ![FrigidLizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3bc359/32.png) [@FrigidLizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FrigidLizard)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2010, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/69 "2010-11-26T19:35:34Z")
> [@Tengu](#): > > No Christmas song is more annoying than [Wonderful Christmas Time](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWuKimtUEas). Seconded. Dear god, that song makes my head hurt. Seriously. There’s something so _wrong_ about the way the line “a wonderful Christmas time” is delivered. _shudder_ ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2010, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/70 "2010-11-26T19:38:41Z")
I just want people to stop making “Christmas Albums” altogether. I mean seriously, do you _ **really** _ think you’ve got a unique twist on the same dozen fuckin’ songs that 1000 other artists have done already?! ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2010, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/71 "2010-11-26T20:01:20Z")
_ **Christmas Shoes** _. All joking aside, _ **Christmas Shoe** _s. I’m a huge believer in preserving all artistic endeavors - probably from that time the Nazis burned all those books - but you give me a button that eradicates that song forever and ever and I’m pushing it without hesitation. ---
**Author:** ![A\_Dodgy\_Dude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a87d85/32.png) [@A\_Dodgy\_Dude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A_Dodgy_Dude)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2010, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/72 "2010-11-26T20:44:18Z")
> [@Khadaji](#): > > The 12 days of Christmas and any parody thereof. But…but…but I _love_ the Christmas Countdown [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/NQkF7fpw-wI/hqdefault.jpg "Frank Kelly-Christmas Countdown (12 days to christmas)") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQkF7fpw-wI) ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2010, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/73 "2010-11-26T20:56:26Z")
> [@GIGObuster](#): > > But.. But.. I still like the Indian parody one! > > [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owK5tHjL0aE](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owK5tHjL0aE) Oh, man, that was a hoot. Loved the wife’s expression after “totally insufficient dowry.” Thanks for posting the link. > [@Wile\_E](#): > > I still have not heard the Shoes song so I vote for Grandma and the Reindeer. Ditto for me. Meanwhile, I love almost everything else mentioned in this thread. (Never been too crazy about Lennon’s “Xmas” dirge, but I think McCartney’s song is delightful, _especially_ for the wacky synthesizer sounds.) ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2010, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/74 "2010-11-26T20:59:40Z")
Sleigh Ride. I hope those cuddly cozy morons with their rosy cheeks get lost in a blizzard. Also that one with the chestnuts roasting on the open fire. I’d like to see the author of that painful dreck roast on an open fire. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2010, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/75 "2010-11-26T21:25:26Z")
> [@DCnDC](#): > > I just want people to stop making “Christmas Albums” altogether. I mean seriously, do you _ **really** _ think you’ve got a unique twist on the same dozen fuckin’ songs that 1000 other artists have done already?! Once in a _very_ long while, someone does [just that](http://www.amazon.com/Christmas-Island-Leon-Redbone/dp/B0000DZ3EU). 🆒 But yeah, they can probably stop making them, _now_. ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2010, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/76 "2010-11-26T21:30:41Z")
Ditto on the "Pah-rum-pah-pum-pum. ---
**Author:** ![Labdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@Labdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labdad)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2010, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/77 "2010-11-26T21:49:57Z")
Obviously, you lucky bastards have never heard “The Cat Carol:” [http://www.tsrocks.com/m/meryn\_cadell\_texts/the\_cat\_carol.html](http://www.tsrocks.com/m/meryn_cadell_texts/the_cat_carol.html) ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2010, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/78 "2010-11-26T22:05:22Z")
77 posts in, and nobody has mentioned “Walking In A Winter Wonderland”? Or “My Favorite Things”? Shocked, shocked I am. Thing is, I love Christmas carols - you know, the ones that actually reference Christ or Christianity. But my whole career has been in retail, and so _every freakin’ year_ I am bombarded by Christmas music for the whole month of December. Christmas _music_, that is - the non-religious kind. The worst part is that, since there really aren’t _that_ many songs, the Muzak loop plays them all - _in different versions_. So I get to hear three or four "Winter Wonderland"s and "Santa Baby"s and … oh, it’s just too painful to contemplate. Seriously, all this Goddamned Christmas music really really kills my holiday spirit. That’s one thing the Catholic Church gets right - they don’t start with the Christmas carols until December 25th. ---
**Author:** ![Fair\_Rarity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fair_rarity/32/153_2.png) [@Fair\_Rarity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fair_Rarity)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2010, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/79 "2010-11-27T01:57:31Z")
I love Christmas music. I have many, many of the songs and particular artists’ versions mentioned in this thread and love them. In all my years, there is only one Christmas song that makes me stabby. And that is Christmas Shoes. I have only been able to listen to it in its entirety one time because it makes me so angry and disgusted. It’s so bad. And for those of you who haven’t heard it, you’re lucky. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2010, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/80 "2010-11-27T03:40:51Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > To be honest, I really hate “Silent Night.” Why? Because I really hate singing about “young viiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrggggggiiiiiiiiiin” in church, next to my mom. It makes me feel weird. It should make you feel even weirder that you’ve been getting it wrong all these years – it’s “[yon](http://www.carols.org.uk/silent_night.htm) virgin”, as in “yonder”. Oh, and my vote is for _Feliz Navidad_. \ Could a song _be_ any more repetitive? \ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836.md?page=5)