# You have the power to permanently eliminate any Christmas song... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 25, 2010, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836 "2010-11-25T00:46:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2010, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/121 "2010-12-01T20:28:33Z")
> [@FriarTed](#): > > “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”… > > Yes, anyone with a brain knows that Mom & Dad were probably doing in some kinky role-playing make-out session, but this kid actually thinks Mom is cheating on Dad with the Personification of Christmas Itself- and his response? “What a laugh it would have been, if Daddy had only seen…” Do you WANT your parents to split up, Kid? Heck, in one version, the kid makes non-sung comments and one is “I did see Mommy kissing Santa Claus and I’m gonna tell my Dad!” Doggam little snitch! Definitely my choice. Could this song _be_ any creepier? My skin crawls when I hear it. Now as for Christmas Shoes (and the not-previously-mentioned-in-this-thread I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas), it’s just so bad it’s good. How can anyone listen to Christmas Shoes without laughing? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/122 "2010-12-02T05:44:43Z")
On the other hand, there’s always Greg Lake’s _I Believe in Father Christmas_ with its subversive lyrics… ---
**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/123 "2010-12-02T16:12:51Z")
3 pages, 122 posts, and the only mention of “all i want for christmas is my two front teeth” came from thailand? you take that song and crossbreed it with the chipmunks and you have arguably the most potent auditory weapon known to man. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/124 "2010-12-02T16:20:54Z")
> [@pancakes3](#): > > 3 pages, 122 posts, and the only mention of “all i want for christmas is my two front teeth” came from thailand? Didn’t it pretty much go away on its own? I haven’t heard that song once in twenty years. (A circumstance for which I am appropriately grateful.) ---
**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/125 "2010-12-02T16:24:23Z")
3 pages, 122 posts, and the only mention of “all i want for christmas is my two front teeth” came from thailand? you take that song and crossbreed it with the chipmunks and you have arguably the most potent auditory weapon known to man. ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/126 "2010-12-02T16:34:37Z")
_Ahem._ I kinda like the chipmunks… :o ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/127 "2010-12-02T16:37:31Z")
> [@Tengu](#): > > No Christmas song is more annoying than [Wonderful Christmas Time](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWuKimtUEas). This is my runner up, but I gotta go with Christmas Shoes which makes me want to stick a candy cane in my ear as far as it will go. ---
**Author:** ![Barking\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Barking\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barking_Dog)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/128 "2010-12-02T17:38:37Z")
> [@pythonzzz](#): > > - The Barking Dogs renditions - arrrrrgggh Hey! I don’t sing _that_ bad! ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/129 "2010-12-02T18:01:15Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > Bob Geldof, writer of _Do They Know It’s Christmas?_, [regrets it.](http://new.music.yahoo.com/blogs/stopthepresses/326331/whats-the-worst-song-in-history/) I came in to post this. It really says something when the writer of the song hates it. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/130 "2010-12-02T18:39:58Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > “We Need A Little Christmas”. (huurrllll…) This song premiered in the musical MAME, as a quiet one to be sung in a reflective manner. It should NEVER be sung in a rabble rousing hot-to-trot way. And, believe it or not, it has three [verses](http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/mame/weneedalittlechristmas.htm). For we need a little music Need a little laughter Need a little singing Ringing through the rafter And we need a little snappy Happy ever after Need a little Christmas now. ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/131 "2010-12-02T20:09:30Z")
While _Christmas Shoes_ is without question the worst Christmas song ever, since I haven’t listened to Christmas radio and spend almost zero times in stores this season, I haven’t been exposed to a barrage of Christmas music in years. My choice for elimination is _Silver Bells_. I probably play in/sing in 5-10 different holiday-related events, and _Silver Bells_ is on everybody’s short list of holiday songs and carols, and it is the most laconic, awkwardly phrased song to sing in a group of unrehearsed people. Doubly so when it’s an a capella situation. If I never have to try and direct people through that song again I’ll die a happy man. ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/132 "2010-12-02T22:28:58Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > On the other hand, there’s always Greg Lake’s _I Believe in Father Christmas_ with its subversive lyrics… I actually heard this on the horrible Chris…sorry, _Xmas_ Musak at my store, and I was both shocked and delighted. This is probably the _only_ Christmas song I am not thoroughly sick of. I still want to take a hair dryer to Frosty, though. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/133 "2010-12-02T22:55:09Z")
Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime and that damned Springsteen one. Ooh, also Santa Baby. Can I please get rid of all three? ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2010, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/134 "2010-12-03T00:47:09Z")
Besides ALL of them, and Christmas Shoes, the absolute WORST to me is that stupid Waitresses song “Christmas Wrapping”! “You mean you forgot cranberries too?” Yes, ugly bitch, I forgot the fucking cranberries. So sorry you can’t keep your favorite guy in line 'cause of his poor car, busy schedule, and PLEASE… call Eminem for rapping lessons. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2010, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/135 "2010-12-03T00:57:31Z")
“The Little Drummer Boy”-that song drives me nuts! Question: Has anyone ever been able to work zombies into a Christmas story? That would be really charming! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2010, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/136 "2010-12-03T01:18:10Z")
If I ruled the world, no one would ever hear “Grandma Got run Over by a Reindeer” again. I loathe that song ---
**Author:** ![Maiira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Maiira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maiira)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2010, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/137 "2010-12-03T01:31:26Z")
Just about every secular Christmas song known to man, with the exception of Carol of the Bells. This also includes The Christmas Shoes, Grownup Christmas List, and any other song like it. I hate sappy, guilt-ridden, people-are-suffering-even-though-it’s-CHRISTMAS songs. People are suffering every day. Christmas ain’t got nothing to do with it. ---
**Author:** ![Rack-a-Bones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rack-a-Bones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rack-a-Bones)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2010, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/138 "2010-12-03T01:42:28Z")
First I’d like to unthank **The Dope**. Somehow I have managed to get this far without ever hearing _Christmas Shoes_. Could I leave well enough alone and just trust my fellow **Dopers**? Of course not. I had to go look it up and now I’m scarred for life. I love _Little Drummer Boy_. Why all the hate? I especially like the Bruce Springsteen version. The Crash Test Dummies version of _Silent Night_ is also pretty good. My votes for permalimination go to _Grandma Got Runover by a Reindeer_ (I always want to break and punch things when I hear this), anything by Jessica Simpson, Madonna, or any country artist. I haven’t seen it mentioned yet but _Father Christmas_ always seems to piss me off when I hear it. ---
**Author:** ![Rack-a-Bones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rack-a-Bones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rack-a-Bones)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2010, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/139 "2010-12-03T01:47:34Z")
> [@ralph124c](#): > > “The Little Drummer Boy”-that song drives me nuts! > Question: Has anyone ever been able to work zombies into a Christmas story? > That would be really charming! Found [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4MaEKl2syE), and [this](http://fearfragments.com/?p=1306) online. That zombie carol book looks like it might work for you. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2010, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/140 "2010-12-03T02:01:41Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > Christmas Shoes appeals to the sizeable Glurge Market. The people who like it have big ugly inflatable snowmen on their lawns and have Thomas Kincaide landscapes (with little twinkling lights set in them, yes, I’ve seen such a thing!) on their walls. That’s a whole other thread - the empire of bad taste. This is really funny. When my chorus began rehearsing _Christmas Shoes,_ \*I commented that it was the “Thomas Kinkade of Christmas music.” \*You don’t know what absolute torture is, until you have to spend weeks memorizing that song. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836.md?page=8)