# You have the power to permanently eliminate any Christmas song... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 25, 2010, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836 "2010-11-25T00:46:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![appleciders](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@appleciders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleciders)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2010, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/161 "2010-12-04T02:13:32Z")
Good Lord, any of those lousy non-religious songs. Not that I buy into the “War on Christmas” crap, but they’re just lousy music most of the time. ---
**Author:** ![velvetjones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5f9b8f/32.png) [@velvetjones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/velvetjones)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/162 "2010-12-05T00:19:27Z")
After reading this I’m happy I’ve never heard of The Christmas Shoes or Wonderful Christmastime. I’m resisting the urge to google them just so I can hate them. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/163 "2010-12-05T00:49:29Z")
You know…I had never heard of Christmas Shoes until this thread, I looked up the youtube, and it’s not THAT bad. The lyrics suck and Patton Oswald was totally right in his stand up, but I wouldn’t say it’s all super horrible and such. My vote is all of them cuz I hate ALL Christmas music. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/164 "2010-12-05T00:59:22Z")
Driving Home For Christmas by someone named Chris Rea. I loathe driving AND Christmas, and hearing this fills me with a red hot rage. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/165 "2010-12-05T07:15:43Z")
I’m going to give a runner-up vote to Neil Diamond’s Cherry Merry whatever Christmas. Blech. ---
**Author:** ![Kari](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9f8e36/32.png) [@Kari](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kari)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2010, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/166 "2010-12-06T04:21:00Z")
> [@a35362](#): > > Actually I _like_ most Christmas songs in themselves. It’s just hearing them over and over and over again that makes them intolerable, like, I don’t know, having nothing to eat but sweet stuff every day for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Fun for a while but pretty soon you want some bread and meat and vegetables. Hear, hear. I really can’t stand the schmaltzy, synth-laden Christmas tunes some pop stars put out, though. Same goes for renditions on the classics. Adding a superfluous run of extra notes to a phrase or two is not a unique and ingenious twist the world is dying to hear! Also, Christmas Shoes…blech, glurge at its finest. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2010, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/167 "2010-12-06T17:07:50Z")
> [@Kari](#): > > I really can’t stand the schmaltzy, synth-laden Christmas tunes some pop stars put out, though. Same goes for renditions on the classics. Adding a superfluous run of extra notes to a phrase or two is not a unique and ingenious twist the world is dying to hear! _I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes, Christmas is all around me, and so the feeling grows_ _Interviewer: How do you think the new record compares to your old classic stuff? Billy Mack: Oh come on, Mikey, you know as well as I do the record’s crap. Billy Mack: But wouldn’t it be great if Number One this Christmas wasn’t some smug teenager, but an old ex-heroin addict searching for a comeback at any price? All those young popsters, come Christmas Day… they’ll be stretched out naked with a cute bird balancing on their balls, and I’ll be stuck in some dingy flat with me manager, Joe, ugliest man in the world, fucking miserable because our fucking gamble didn’t pay off. So if you believe in Father Christmas, children, like your Uncle Billy does, buy my festering turd of a record. And particularly enjoy the incredible crassness of the moment when we try to squeeze an extra syllable into the fourth line._ Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Neidhart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Neidhart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neidhart)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2010, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/168 "2010-12-06T22:44:45Z")
“Is That You, Santa Claus?” In my book it doesn’t even qualify as a song; it certainly is an assault on the ears though. It’s just some clown talking, or rather yelling, while overacting horribly, to background music. It isn’t even rap. I don’t consider something a song if there isn’t even a token attempt at singing. ---
**Author:** ![Craneop2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6bbea6/32.png) [@Craneop2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Craneop2)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2010, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/169 "2010-12-07T05:32:40Z")
Pertaining to the worst Christmas song ever written. My sister had a record(tape, or whatever it was) that was foisted upon the season by I believe John Denver. The name was “Please daddy don’t get drunk this christmas”. At least that was the first line. My niece loved the song. Memorized it. And ran around all day singing the damn thing. She never knew how close she was to being throttled! I would love to link to it and show ya’ll how bad it is but the risk of being banned is just too great. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_A.Robrin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sam_a.robrin/32/14497_2.png) [@Sam\_A.Robrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_A.Robrin)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2010, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/170 "2010-12-07T07:13:36Z")
You just told me not to think about a white bear. [![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzvQr8fidLo) Now–was the ending deliberately ambiguous, or just poorly written? There’s not enough information to tell that he was sober, just a vague implication based on our expectation. It wouldn’t take much, maybe "Walking straight and tall and booming "Merry Christmas!’ "–then change the fade-out chorus to “Myyyy daddy isn’t drunk this Christmas / For once, I’m glad to see my Momma cry.” As is, it’s too “Lady or the Tiger.” (That’s if the glurgy thing were worth trying to save, which it isn’t.) ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2010, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/171 "2010-12-07T08:06:27Z")
Well, given that the thread was NOT closed upon mention of the Chipmunks, I’m forced to do this: [Me, I want a hula hoop](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dnrosVyamY) ---
**Author:** ![Alka\_Seltzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Alka\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alka_Seltzer)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2010, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/172 "2010-12-07T11:21:42Z")
With great power, comes great responsibility… I wouldn’t ban any particular song, because to me the problem isn’t christmas music as such, it’s shops and radio stations that put them on a constant rotation. While there are many good candidates for “worst christmas song”, it’s a highly subjective thing, and eliminating one would just mean that a whole load of others would be played slightly more frequently, thereby increasing their coefficient of awfulness. Come the revolution, I’ll pass a law that no two consecutive christmas songs can be played in a public place or broadcast over a public medium. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2010, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/173 "2010-12-07T13:53:46Z")
About a week ago, the muzak at my workplace started playing Christmas songs. This year, they put in a few that I had not heard before. I had not thought it possible for a song to be more annoying than “Santa Baby”, but “I Wanta See Santa Do The Mambo” succeeds. Fortunately, I still have not heard “Christmas Shoes”. ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2010, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/174 "2010-12-07T14:02:24Z")
I told Santa to leave each one you a lump of anthracite in your stockings… ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2010, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/175 "2010-12-07T14:26:37Z")
All of them. I listen right now at work to Xmas music for 40 hours a week. Waterboarding would be a farkin’ treat compared to the glurgy crap. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2010, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/176 "2010-12-07T17:17:09Z")
It’s gotta be “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer” for me. Lucky me, I’ve never heard the Christmas Shoes song. But I do listen to country sometimes, there is definitely a lot of cheese there from certain artists. ---
**Author:** ![mrklutz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ebca7d/32.png) [@mrklutz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrklutz)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2010, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/177 "2010-12-07T18:10:40Z")
> [@ralph124c](#): > > Question: Has anyone ever been able to work zombies into a Christmas story? > That would be really charming! _The Stupidest Angel_ by Christopher Moore does just that. It’s a brilliantly funny book – go get yourself a copy. ---
**Author:** ![Wincerind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@Wincerind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wincerind)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2010, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/178 "2010-12-08T13:47:51Z")
All of them. I hate the Christmas glurge. Hypocrites. But most of all: Last Christmas by Wham. It should fall under the Geneva Convention. Bruce is ok though (Santa Claus…). ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2010, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/179 "2010-12-08T14:35:21Z")
> [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > _Interviewer: How do you think the new record compares to your old classic stuff? > Billy Mack: Oh come on, Mikey, you know as well as I do the record’s crap. > Billy Mack: But wouldn’t it be great if Number One this Christmas wasn’t some smug teenager, but an old ex-heroin addict searching for a comeback at any price? All those young popsters, come Christmas Day… they’ll be stretched out naked with a cute bird balancing on their balls, and I’ll be stuck in some dingy flat with me manager, Joe, ugliest man in the world, fucking miserable because our fucking gamble didn’t pay off. So if you believe in Father Christmas, children, like your Uncle Billy does, buy my festering turd of a record. And particularly enjoy the incredible crassness of the moment when we try to squeeze an extra syllable into the fourth line._ > > Stranger Quite possibly the only redeeming moment in that festering turd of a film. Well, that and the line about the lobster. I’m sticking with _Do They Know It’s Christmas?_ but for rotation hell I once worked UPS over the lead-up to Christmas and they had “A Kenny and Dolly Christmas” alternating with Mannheim Steamroller constantly for four weeks straight. Much as I love and respect Dolly Parton, if I ever hear “I Believe in Santa Claus” again I may start screaming and stabbing people at random. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2010, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836/180 "2010-12-08T14:57:45Z")
[Basil Marceaux](http://www.nashvillescene.com/nashvillecream/archives/2010/12/06/basil-marceauxs-come-christmas-fresh-video) ran for the Republican nomination for Governor in Tenneessee this year. Many remember his insane drunk ramblings on the air. Now he’s put out a Christmas song. StG [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-the-power-to-permanently-eliminate-any-christmas-song/561836.md?page=10)