# You have to lose a major movie studio hundreds of millions, what bad movie do you make? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** movies\ **Created:** [April 25, 2024, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733 "2024-04-25T09:15:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![FlikTheBlue](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fliktheblue/32/10972_2.png) [@FlikTheBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlikTheBlue)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/21 "2024-04-25T13:37:07Z")
Weekend at Bernie’s 3, starring de-aged versions of Terry Kiser, Andrew McCarthy, and Jonathan Silverman. The salary of the three stars plus the money spent on the de-aging would be a substantial part of the budget. The plot would be the adventures of Richard and Larry on the yacht to Monte Carlo from the end of part 2, with Bernie (arrow in the head and all) along for the ride. Using a real life mega yacht (to make it more realistic 😜) would also eat up a large chunk of the budget. ---
**Author:** ![Horatius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horatius/32/3572_2.png) [@Horatius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatius)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/22 "2024-04-25T13:39:51Z")
> [@FlikTheBlue](#): > > Using a real life mega yacht (to make it more realistic 😜) would also eat up a large chunk of the budget. Buy it brand-new for the film, and then actually sink it in the middle of the ocean for the big finale, so that none of its value can be recovered after filming is done. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/23 "2024-04-25T13:46:19Z")
> [@dtilque](#): > > No one’s going to remake _Plan 9 from Outer Space_? OK, I got dibs on that. I don’t know. Several years ago somebody came up with a musical version of **Plan Nine from Outer Space** at the University of Utah. I missed it by one year. It subsequently toured the Midwest. I’d pay money to see that. (One of the songs described plans one through Eight). There’s a musical version of Plan Nine on YouTube, but I don’t know if it has anything to do with this version. For the trecord, THIS is the version I just missed seeing > **[Plan 9 from Outer Space — The Musical #](https://variety.com/1995/legit/reviews/plan-9-from-outer-space-the-musical-1200440706/)** > > Band: John Glen Bishop, Matt Davis, John Ritchie, Gary Goodman. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/24 "2024-04-25T13:49:58Z")
> [@Asuka](#): > > **Beetle Bailey: The Movie** > > Directed by Guy Ritchie > > With Ryan Gosling as Private Beetle > Seth Rogan as Sgt Snorkle > Jason Statham as Lieutenant Fuzz > Tom Hanks as General Half-track > Kate Upton as Miss Buxley > > An action comedy where Private Beetle accidentally finds himself locked in a broom closet when a group of bumbling terrorists take Camp Swampy hostage and only Beetle can stop them. > > Runtime 2 hours, 45 minutes With those people involved, I’d watch it! 😉 My proposal is simply: **Green Lantern 2** 😲 ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/25 "2024-04-25T13:50:30Z")
> [@Horatius](#): > > That would be a bad movie, but will it be a bad movie that costs hundreds of millions to make? Well, Robert Rodriguez and Tarantino spent $70 million in 2007 to faithfully re-create a pair of $100,000 1970s exploitation films (in 2024 dollars that’s $580k, but that $70M in 2024 dollars is over $100M). ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/26 "2024-04-25T13:51:24Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > I will make a hyperviolent action horror movie about the Comic Sans font becoming sapient due to demonic possession I don’t see how a documentary figures into this scheme. For my suggestion, any DC Comics superhero flick. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/27 "2024-04-25T14:06:31Z")
> [@gnoitall](#): > > For my suggestion, any DC Comics superhero flick. How about a bad Marvel movie? **Millie the Model – The Movie** ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/28 "2024-04-25T14:07:44Z")
**Naked Gun: The Nordberg Files**. But I think I missed my window. Maybe Bill Cosby is available. ETA: God damn you Seth McFarland! > **[Jonathan Majors Cast in “O.J. Simpson” Role for Naked Gun Reboot](https://dibsnext.com/jonathan-majors-cast-in-o-j-simpson-role-for-naked-gun-reboot/)** > > Jonathan Majors has been cast as Detective Nordberg in the upcoming “Naked Gun” reboot film, a role originated by athlete and accused murderer O.J. Simpson. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/29 "2024-04-25T14:13:24Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > Milton’s Paradise Lost. As read by Drew Carey in front of a studio audience. No other actors, no special effects. Just Drew, on a stage, reading all 12 books of the epic 17th century poem. Scored by the great John Willàiams. I don’t know if you’re aware of it, but among the many Edgar Allen Poe adaptations starring Vincent Price, one of them almost fits this description. **An Evening of Edgar Allen Poe** is simply Price dramatically reading four Poe stories, in costume. The four are \*The Tell-Tale Heart, The Sphinx, The Cask of Amontillado, \* and _The Pit and the Pendulum_. It’s certainly the most faithful Poe ever put on film, because it basically IS Poe. Musdic by Les Baxter, not John Williams. Roger Corman wasn’t involved in any way > **[An Evening of Edgar Allan Poe](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/An_Evening_of_Edgar_Allan_Poe)** > > An Evening of Edgar Allan Poe is a 1970 film which features Vincent Price reciting four of Edgar Allan Poe's stories, directed by Kenneth Johnson, with music by Les Baxter. > The stories included are: "The Tell-Tale Heart", "The Sphinx", "The Cask of Amontillado" and "The Pit and the Pendulum". > This article related to an American television horror film is a stub. You can help Wikipedia by expanding it. But Drew Carey reading Milton…Uhhhhhh. Have you ever tried to _read_ **Paradise Lost**? ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/30 "2024-04-25T14:21:09Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > Milton’s Paradise Lost. As read by Drew Carey in front of a studio audience. 50 Shades of Grey as read by Gilbert Gottfried. Most of the money would be spent trying to resurrect Gottfried. ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/31 "2024-04-25T14:24:48Z")
**Flatland - The Motion Picture** In 3-D! ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/32 "2024-04-25T14:37:52Z")
It’s been done. Multiple times, in fact [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0814106/](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0814106/) > **[Flatland (2007 Johnson and Travis film)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flatland_(2007_Johnson_and_Travis_film))** > > Flatland: The Movie is a short animated film which was released to video in 2007. The cast includes the voices of actors Martin Sheen, Kristen Bell and Tony Hale. The story is based on the 1884 science fiction novella Flatland: A Romance of Many Dimensions written by Edwin A. Abbott. > The two-dimensional Arthur Square awakens from a dream of strange, glowing symbols. He lives with his wife, Arlene Square, and his curious granddaughter Hex, a hexagon. Hex and Arthur discuss the laws of inheritance... [https://store.der.org/flatland-p820.aspx](https://store.der.org/flatland-p820.aspx) (and the Outer Limits episode **Behold…Eck!** is also based on Flatland – [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Behold,\_Eck](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Behold,_Eck)! ) Making it in 3D is actually a great idea for the scenes where the Square interacts with the Sphere. In fact, for some scenes I’d suggest making it in **4D** , if that existed. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/33 "2024-04-25T14:41:47Z")
> **[The Many-Colored Land](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Many-Colored_Land)** > > The Many-Colored Land is a science fiction novel by American author Julian May, published in 1981. It is the first book of the Saga of Pliocene Exile (known as the Saga of the Exiles in the United Kingdom and the Commonwealth). The novel sets the series up by introducing the story of each of the characters. The main purpose of the book is to provide information for the rest of the series, only beginning the main storyline in its final part. > There is a lady sweet and kind, > Was never face so plea... This is the first book in a four-book EPIC SAGA. (I read only the first two, and I remember about “this” much. Hey I was young and bored) It involves time travelers to the Pilocene epoch, aliens, “metaphysic practitioners”, a dry Mediterranean Sea, and none of it is in any way memorable or important. But the budget! It could rival Avatar for cg, unless they wanted to use practical effects. And since this is only book one of a series, it basically is there just to set up the world of the story. It would be like Dune part 1, except without a built in fanbase. We could really film all four at the same time! Saves money, or, actually, loses even more before the first one hits the threater and bombs. The other three can go direct to streaming. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/34 "2024-04-25T14:42:32Z")
I would buy the rights for an American remake of this, but darker and with a more realistic CGI anthropomorphic blood clot. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/7a_X0Mn-HiE/maxresdefault.jpg "Little Miss Period (Seiri-chan) theatrical trailer - Shunsuke Shinada-directed movie") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7a_X0Mn-HiE) > **[Little Miss P](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_Miss_P)** > > Little Miss P (Japanese: 生理ちゃん, Hepburn: Seiri-chan, lit. Menstruation-chan) is a Japanese manga series by Ken Koyama. The series follows the titular character, an anthropomorphized period, as she visits menstruating women in various scenarios and contexts. Launched as a webcomic in 2017, Little Miss P was serialized in the manga magazine Monthly Comic Beam from January 2017 to October 2020 and was adapted into a live-action film in 2019. The series has been critically acclaimed, and won a Tezuka... ---
**Author:** ![InternetLegend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/internetlegend/32/13154_2.png) [@InternetLegend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InternetLegend)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/35 "2024-04-25T15:12:02Z")
I think most of your movies, having action sequences, run the risk of finding an audience, if only for hate-watching. Mine would be a three-hour epic, with expensive actors, of Proust’s **À la recherche du temps perdu** - _in French with English subtitles_. It would, of course, involve lovingly recreating the period costumes, interiors, and architecture. Since there are very few internationally acclaimed expensive French actors, the studio would have to pay for extensive language coaching. I would have to have an actual working train from the period, and it would probably be necessary to film a bunch of B-roll of WWI in order to illustrate the Horrors of War. There would be absolutely no explicit scenes of sex or bloodshed, just a whole lot of characters having conversations. In French. With subtitles. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/36 "2024-04-25T15:42:40Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Have you ever tried to _read_ **Paradise Lost**? Read it in college. Great story once you can get through the complicated verbiage. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/37 "2024-04-25T15:49:03Z")
_Gilligan’s Island_ – a Michael Bay film. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/38 "2024-04-25T15:57:00Z")
A three and a half- hour long biopic of Mao Zedong, focusing entirely on his early life pre-1949 and almost completely ignoring war and politics in favor of his personal relationships with family, friends and colleagues. ---
**Author:** ![Jay\_Z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Jay\_Z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jay_Z)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/39 "2024-04-25T16:02:56Z")
> [@Asuka](#): > > **Beetle Bailey: The Movie** > > Directed by Guy Ritchie > > With Ryan Gosling as Private Beetle > Seth Rogan as Sgt Snorkle > Jason Statham as Lieutenant Fuzz > Tom Hanks as General Half-track > Kate Upton as Miss Buxley > > An action comedy where Private Beetle accidentally finds himself locked in a broom closet when a group of bumbling terrorists take Camp Swampy hostage and only Beetle can stop them. > > Runtime 2 hours, 45 minutes I’m not sure this would be greenlit in 2024. And the running time is implausible. But overall, I think you’re on a much better track than the subsequent answers. If you truly want to get something funded and have it sink like a stone. Take an existing but hoary property that there are a lot of shallow memories of, but a limited dedicated fanbase. That draws in some level of starpower. But the combination of the property being old and out of date, and the remaining tiny fanbase disagreeing with your approach, as surefire a bomb opportunity as you will get. Also probably helps to get Warren Beatty involved. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/40 "2024-04-25T16:08:43Z")
> [@Jay\_Z](#): > > Take an existing but hoary property that there are a lot of shallow memories of, but a limited dedicated fanbase. Coming in 2026: THE RISE OF HAWKMAN. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733.md?page=3)