# You have to lose a major movie studio hundreds of millions, what bad movie do you make? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** movies\ **Created:** [April 25, 2024, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733 "2024-04-25T09:15:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Horatius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horatius/32/3572_2.png) [@Horatius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatius)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/61 "2024-04-25T18:43:10Z")
> [@Saint\_Cad](#): > > The goal here is to spend a ton of money on a movie no one is interested in. There has to be enough interest to get the thing green-lit by the studio, though. Then it has to bomb opening weekend. That’s why the All Shatner _Caesar_ is a good option. The studio will see the built-in Star Trek and Shakespeare fan bases, and figure it’s a two-franchise money factory, but not realize that the early reviews will kill it for both fandoms. ---
**Author:** ![Dropo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce7236/32.png) [@Dropo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dropo)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/62 "2024-04-25T18:44:28Z")
_Han and Chewie Go Boating_ Marooned on some shithole planet, the beloved, but belly-achin’ _Star Wars_ characters find their intimate relations strangely linked to an expensively rendered parallel reality (populated by sentient toast) where nothing of actual interest ever happens very slowly, leading viewers to think something might happen by the end even though it never does. Expect withering word of mouth for this franchise-broadening art film to kill business inside a week and you’ve a surefire money-loser. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/63 "2024-04-25T18:44:34Z")
**Empire – The Musical** Take Andy Warhol’s 8 + hour silent black and white movie, colorize it at great expense, and add a new score by somebody on the “%0 Worst Soundtrack” list. Maybe all of them. Eight hours is a lot of dead air to fill. > **[Empire (1965 film)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empire_(1965_film))** > > Empire is a 1965 American black-and-white silent art film by Andy Warhol. When projected according to Warhol's specifications, it consists of eight hours and five minutes of slow motion footage of an unchanging view of New York City's Empire State Building. The film does not have conventional narrative or characters, and largely reduces the experience of cinema to the passing of time. Warhol stated that the purpose of the film was "to see time go by." > A week after the film was shot, experiment... > **[50 Worst Movie Soundtracks](https://www.gamesradar.com/50-worst-movie-soundtracks/4/)** > > Our ears! Our ears! ---
**Author:** ![That\_Don\_Guy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/that_don_guy/32/538_2.png) [@That\_Don\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/That_Don_Guy)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/64 "2024-04-25T18:48:41Z")
I’ll go with: _The Simpsons - the Live Action Movie_. Its main problem: some producer insisted on getting “names” to play Bart and Lisa, so they end up looking and sounding nothing like their animated counterparts. It will go over about as well as the Simpsons stamps that were released a few years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/65 "2024-04-25T18:52:28Z")
In the plot of the original _The Producers_, Max Bialystock mulls over the idea of adapting Kafka’s “The Metamorphosis” for a musical but rejects it as “too good”. Why not make a _movie_ musical of _The Metamorphosis_?\* _Cats_ bombed as a movie, so one could expect an even greater disaster from a film featuring song and dance numbers inspired by Kafka’s masterpiece. Not sure who to cast as family members and the rest of the protagonists, but Nicolas Cage seems like a natural for the role of Gregor Samsa. \*there was a previous film version of _The Metamorphosis_ which I am glad to say I have never seen. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/66 "2024-04-25T18:53:25Z")
> [@Horatius](#): > > There has to be enough interest to get the thing green-lit by the studio, though. Then it has to bomb opening weekend. Two words Oscar Bait Maybe I’d use that as my producer pseudonym. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/67 "2024-04-25T18:54:38Z")
So, you want to fuck up a very popular concept with a big budget and popular stars? _Cats_ had the right idea, so how about a live action musical _Bloom County_? No CGI, just people dressed as the different characters. Danny DeVito as Opus (typecasting?) and Jim Carrey as Bill The Cat. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/68 "2024-04-25T18:55:43Z")
> [@Horatius](#): > > That’s why the All Shatner _Caesar_ is a good option. The studio will see the built-in Star Trek and Shakespeare fan bases > [@Dropo](#): > > Han and Chewie Go Boating > [@Czarcasm](#): > > so how about a live action musical _Bloom County_? The problems with this is the built-in fan base will spend tons of money on opening weekend to see it before word gets out how much it sucks. ---
**Author:** ![Horatius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horatius/32/3572_2.png) [@Horatius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatius)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/69 "2024-04-25T18:58:33Z")
> [@Saint\_Cad](#): > > The problems with this is the built-in fan base will spend tons of money on opening weekend to see it before word gets out how much it sucks That’s an issue for the trailer guys to fix. With a bad enough trailer, no one will be chomping at the bit to go see it. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/70 "2024-04-25T18:58:54Z")
I think the movie trailers will kill that off. ---
**Author:** ![Asuka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dec6dc/32.png) [@Asuka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asuka)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/71 "2024-04-25T19:28:44Z")
Yes similar to how every decade SOMEBODY tries to make a new big budget Robin Hood or King Arthur movie and they almost never make money. Another idea is bad modern remakes of classic films. Does the world need a remake of Sergeant York? No, but I can see somebody greenlighting it, starring Chris Pratt as Sergeant York. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/72 "2024-04-25T20:02:24Z")
Snapper Carr, the movie. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/73 "2024-04-25T20:05:56Z")
Star Wars universe side-story; the Jar-Jar Chronicles. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/74 "2024-04-25T20:30:50Z")
> [@Asuka](#): > > Another idea is bad modern remakes of classic films. This is probably the winner idea. Anything like my idea in the earlier post could backfire and actually find an audience. But remaking movies that no one asked to be remade is a near certain failure. Spend enough money upfront and you can easily lose hundreds of millions. I give you modern remakes of Titanic Gone With the Wind Cleopatra (it lost tons the _first_ time!) The Longest Day The Great Escape and if you can figure out how to make it big budget Casablanca ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/75 "2024-04-25T20:46:18Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > An entire movie about Jimmy Olsen? In which the character of Superman never appears? That seems like a harder sell than a whole movie about Robin where Batman never appears; sure, that’s kinda offbeat, but it could really connect with people, and you’ve got one heck of a built-in recognition factor. My question is: can we afford Burt Ward? ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/76 "2024-04-25T20:49:24Z")
A Doc Savage film- played straight. At least I’d enjoy it. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/77 "2024-04-25T21:11:26Z")
I think part of the problem is that the story of Robin Hood doesn’t really fire the imagination anymore. I wonder what made it successful the first time? Was it Errol Flynn’s performance that was captivating enough to elevate a swashbuckler into a classic? ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/78 "2024-04-25T21:18:00Z")
It was the Great Depression, and people resented the banks, and the rich, and the government. People who would never vote Socialist, would cheer for Robin Hood. I think pirate movies were popular for the same reason. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/79 "2024-04-25T21:21:46Z")
Dune Chapter 3. Timothee Chalamet out. Kirk Cameron in. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733/80 "2024-04-25T21:24:55Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > I think part of the problem is that the story of Robin Hood doesn’t really fire the imagination anymore. I wonder what made it successful the first time? Was it Errol Flynn’s performance that was captivating enough to elevate a swashbuckler into a classic? FWIW, the Costner version made a ton of money. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-have-to-lose-a-major-movie-studio-hundreds-of-millions-what-bad-movie-do-you-make/1000733.md?page=5)