# You just became a god, or something **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 1, 2016, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-became-a-god-or-something/764720 "2016-09-01T21:58:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2016, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-became-a-god-or-something/764720/41 "2016-09-02T17:39:43Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I’d grow a bunch of extra arms, kind of like the hindu deities, only way cooler. That’ll improve your ski-boxing score! ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2016, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-became-a-god-or-something/764720/42 "2016-09-02T17:41:57Z")
Ah, besides the entire “mess with the Humans” that we all want to try; Clean up all the plastic in the oceans. Cut atmospheric CO2 in half. _and all of a sudden, every last paint fleck of debris in orbit just… de-orbitted!_ ---
**Author:** ![TheStake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecae2f/32.png) [@TheStake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheStake)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2016, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-became-a-god-or-something/764720/43 "2016-09-02T18:11:29Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > Gather a Harem of Comely Mortal Wenches, sire some Demigods & Demigoddesses (if Zeus did, so can I), & farm the work out to the kids. > > Learn to delegate. Genius! I think that is the kick your feet up style that you would need a divine lazy boy for! ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2016, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-became-a-god-or-something/764720/44 "2016-09-02T18:11:38Z")
> [@Whiskey\_Dickens](#): > > I’d make group-tripping on a psychedelic (preferrably LSD) mandatory. You’d have to do it at least twice in case the first time was merely disorienting and unpleasant. > > Health concernswould exempt you from the above. You’re a god not a petty tyrant. You could make everyone trip without giving them anything. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2016, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-became-a-god-or-something/764720/45 "2016-09-02T18:31:53Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > I’m not. Fine, then call your mom more often. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2016, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-became-a-god-or-something/764720/46 "2016-09-02T19:25:47Z")
I think I would start by making Karma work properly - i.e. promptly and reliably. ---
**Author:** ![dtilque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dtilque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dtilque)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2016, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-became-a-god-or-something/764720/47 "2016-09-02T23:59:15Z")
OK, this is going to be yuuuge! First we get rid of those loser gods, they got to go! Allah, Yahweh, all those Hindu gods, they’re all losers, deport 'em. Then build a wall around them and make them pay for it. Any other demi-gods or goddesses go too. Not all the goddesses, if they’re hot they can stay. But only if they’re not virgin goddesses. You got to put out to stay in my universe. This is going to be yuuuge! Yuuuuuge! ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2016, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-became-a-god-or-something/764720/48 "2016-09-03T00:03:56Z")
I would instantaneously rewrite the laws of everything in a manner you’re not currently able to comprehend. Obviously. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2016, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-became-a-god-or-something/764720/49 "2016-09-03T00:08:36Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > I think I would start by making Karma work properly - i.e. promptly and reliably. How would governments function if all the politicians got what was coming to them? ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2016, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-became-a-god-or-something/764720/50 "2016-09-03T01:39:37Z")
Ever see that video game black and white? ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2016, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-became-a-god-or-something/764720/51 "2016-09-03T01:40:41Z")
No more reality shows. ---
**Author:** ![drewder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/57b2e6/32.png) [@drewder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewder)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2016, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-became-a-god-or-something/764720/52 "2016-09-03T01:41:54Z")
> [@snfaulkner](#): > > So nothing then. You would continue to let things be broken. Got it. The best make it look effortless. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2016, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-became-a-god-or-something/764720/53 "2016-09-04T00:52:16Z")
Everyone who claims to be representing me, or telling people what I want them to do, or in any way claiming to know what I want and attempting to impose that upon other people will be called to an impromptu meeting in the Sahara Desert. (I hope it’s big enough to hold them all!) I would explain what it is that I ACTUALLY want of people, and of them, and then explain that if they represent otherwise in future they will be called back to this spot. Then I’ll send them all home. Those who end up back in the desert are on their own. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2016, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-became-a-god-or-something/764720/54 "2016-09-04T00:53:50Z")
> [@Go\_Arachnid\_Laser](#): > > Knowing me, I would plan a lot of wonderful things to help mankind improve, but then just procrastinate and never get anything done because I’m too busy watching future seasons of Game of Thrones. Standing ovation. > [@iiandyiiii](#): > > . . . > Alter the human reproductive system such that women (and men too) are only fertile when they want to be. No babies happen unless both parties want it to happen. > > . . . Great one. I’m adding this to my list. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2016, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-became-a-god-or-something/764720/55 "2016-09-04T02:42:13Z")
> [@Sage\_Rat](#): > > Given that I’m not currently omniscient, I think it’s safe to say that anything I currently think I would do is probably not what I would actually do… It took 18 posts to get to my answer! ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2016, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-became-a-god-or-something/764720/56 "2016-09-04T04:58:44Z")
Step 1: make my wife a goddess of equal power Step 2: be mean trickster God playing with my toys Step 3: create pantheon with wife I’m not sure if I’d make my daughter a God she’s only 1 and that seems like it would go poorly but I’m really not sure what the right thing to do would be; leave her on earth with step-parents to get crucified, auto adult her, hang out as a God on earth and raise her until she’s 18. In general I think I’ll wait until I’m omniscient to make that decision. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-became-a-god-or-something/764720.md?page=2)