# You just might be a Doper if... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 16, 2007, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-might-be-a-doper-if/426739 "2007-11-16T18:55:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2007, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-might-be-a-doper-if/426739/41 "2007-11-17T20:43:15Z")
[QUOTE=featherlou] I was chatting at work last week, and was inwardly surprised that the people I was talking to didn’t seem to know much about anything (didn’t know about softwood lumber tariffs, didn’t know about NAFTA, didn’t know what tariffs were at all, actually, didn’t know how big anyone’s armies are, etc.). I think that really marked me as a Doper. Don’t average people talk about _anything_? I run into this quite often - the things we take for granted around here, other people haven’t even started learning about. And the whole making up Pit threads whenever something bad happens. And starting half my sentences with, “The other time, at [del]band camp[/del] the Straight Dope…” [/QUOTE] I mainly hang out with the engineers at work. Two of them would make great dopers as they question everything and both know way to much movie trivia and quotes. The oddest thing is one of them actually has a periodic table hanging in their cube like I do. I then also have coworkers who complain about not having any money and yet are driving $40,000 gas guzzling SUVs. Their complete lack of logic and sense makes me roll my eyes. They don’t even get the disconnect and are largely clueless of world events. Jim ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2007, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-might-be-a-doper-if/426739/42 "2007-11-17T20:54:01Z")
…Bet they’re Yankee fans, too… …which further defies said logic! ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2007, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-might-be-a-doper-if/426739/43 "2007-11-17T20:55:40Z")
[QUOTE=Least Original User Name Ever] …Bet they’re Yankee fans, too… …which further defies said logic! [/QUOTE] Actually one doesn’t even like Baseball, the infidel! ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2007, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-might-be-a-doper-if/426739/44 "2007-11-17T21:00:38Z")
[QUOTE=What Exit?] Actually one doesn’t even like Baseball, the infidel! [/QUOTE] Wow! That’s like…like…(insert proper baseball analogy here). Oh, and you’re a Doper if you call people “conversation-shitters” if they butt into your conversation. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2007, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-might-be-a-doper-if/426739/45 "2007-11-17T21:07:16Z")
You use **Cite?** as a complete sentence. A lecture you attended on artworks of the Holocaust got hopelessly hijacked to whether or not _Chico and the Man_ was culturally insensitive for Puerto Ricans (with sub hijacks into whether you should roll the _r_s when saying Puerto Rico or if Freddie Prinze, Jr., can act [and how should you sound the _r_s], with a Mod finally coming by and physically closing the door to the room where you’re talking after somebody adding non-sequiturly that the old lady who played Mrs. Stephens on _Bewitched_ was Jack ‘the Man’s’ Albertson’s sister in real life led to a third hijack on whether Samantha was psychically circumcized by Darrin). Every curiosity you have about orthodox Judaism begins at sundown on Friday. You’ve checked yourself into a rehab for sexual addiction because you can’t spend two hours without going down. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2007, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-might-be-a-doper-if/426739/46 "2007-11-17T21:13:11Z")
Whenever you travel anywhere, your first thought is, “Wonder if I can get a dopefest together while I’m there?” ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2007, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-might-be-a-doper-if/426739/47 "2007-11-17T21:16:45Z")
[QUOTE=swampbear] Whenever you travel anywhere, your first thought is, “Wonder if I can get a dopefest together while I’m there?” [/QUOTE] Or you at least check the dope to find out what to do while you’re there. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2007, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-might-be-a-doper-if/426739/48 "2007-11-17T21:17:10Z")
With _almost everything_ that happens in your real life, you start framing it in your mind as a Straightdope thread or post (sort of like what **Ghanima** said). :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2007, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-might-be-a-doper-if/426739/49 "2007-11-17T23:07:41Z")
[QUOTE=What Exit?] \I then also have coworkers who complain about not having any money and yet are driving $40,000 gas guzzling SUVs. Their complete lack of logic and sense makes me roll my eyes. They don’t even get the disconnect and are largely clueless of world events. Jim [/QUOTE] Heh - talking later with the same dude, we got onto the subject of cars, and I mentioned that my Corolla takes about $35 to fill up, and goes 500+ kms on that. He drives an SUV, of course - my putting dollar figures on the Corolla’s fuel efficiency got him thinking, apparently. (That’s how we’ll do it - convert them quietly, one person at a time.) ---
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2007, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-might-be-a-doper-if/426739/50 "2007-11-18T10:57:20Z")
When a problem needs solving, you suggest using a 1920’s style death ray. You yell, “DOG-FELCHING SYPHILITIC MONKEY!” when someone cuts you off on the freeway. You nuke the site from orbit, it’s the only way to be sure. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2007, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-might-be-a-doper-if/426739/51 "2007-11-18T11:09:07Z")
[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir] You’re secretly proud when a mod refers with approval to something you’ve written. … You’ve been to a Dopefest. [/QUOTE] 1. See sig. 2. Las Vegas (what happened there stays there 🙂 ) ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2007, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-might-be-a-doper-if/426739/52 "2007-11-18T15:30:18Z")
[QUOTE=Cluricaun] You’re sitting in a bar when an attractive woman walks up to you and says, “You know, I anal” And you look at her and say “Yeah, I’m not a lawyer either.” [/QUOTE] _sigh_. ☹ The one I liked - and it was in someone’s signature for a while, can’t remember how to spell the guy’s name - explained how you could tell you were a Doper if you came under mortar fire and started a Pit thread about it. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2007, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-might-be-a-doper-if/426739/53 "2007-11-18T22:03:06Z")
Wow - on this basis I’m only about 1/3rd dopish. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2007, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-might-be-a-doper-if/426739/54 "2007-11-18T22:27:47Z")
[QUOTE=Malacandra] _sigh_. ☹ The one I liked - and it was in someone’s signature for a while, can’t remember how to spell the guy’s name - explained how you could tell you were a Doper if you came under mortar fire and started a Pit thread about it. 😃 [/QUOTE] That is **Steve Wright** (not the _famous_ Steve Wright, as he’d hurry to tell you). I can’t find the quote at the moment, though. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2007, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-might-be-a-doper-if/426739/55 "2007-11-18T22:38:47Z")
[QUOTE=cruel butterfly] When you mouse-over links on other websites expecting a preview to pop up… [/QUOTE] Oh _HELL_ yes! That’s just what I was coming in here to add. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2007, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-might-be-a-doper-if/426739/56 "2007-11-18T22:39:21Z")
1. See sig. 2. Las Vegas (what happened there stays there 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2007, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-might-be-a-doper-if/426739/57 "2007-11-18T22:40:06Z")
You remember The Grapist You wish you could persuade your logic challenged friends and relatives to come here and get an education. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2007, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-might-be-a-doper-if/426739/58 "2007-11-18T23:12:27Z")
Or you’re glad your logic challenged friends and relatives DON’T come here. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hometownboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5e9695/32.png) [@Hometownboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hometownboy)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2007, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-might-be-a-doper-if/426739/59 "2007-11-18T23:47:59Z")
You’ve exchanged e-mail with a mod. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2007, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-might-be-a-doper-if/426739/60 "2007-11-19T00:24:54Z")
You giggle every time the “fix your circumsion” comes up in in the google ads, and you know who I’m talking about. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-might-be-a-doper-if/426739.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-just-might-be-a-doper-if/426739.md?page=4)