# You know some rich Americans are pooping their pants right about now **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 19, 2009, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-some-rich-americans-are-pooping-their-pants-right-about-now/486525 "2009-02-19T07:38:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-some-rich-americans-are-pooping-their-pants-right-about-now/486525/1 "2009-02-19T07:38:52Z")
And for once it’s not stock market related. [UBS to pay $780M, open secret Swiss bank records:](http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/ubs_secrets) > [@](#): > > WASHINGTON – Banking giant UBS has agreed to pay $780 million and turn over once-secret Swiss banking records to settle allegations it conspired to defraud the U.S. government of taxes owed by thousands of American clients. > > As part of the deal struck in federal court in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., UBS has made the unprecedented step of agreeing to immediately turn over to the U.S. government account information for U.S. customers of the bank’s cross-border business. What’s the Brit expression? “Touching cotton?” ---
**Author:** ![slaphead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@slaphead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slaphead)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-some-rich-americans-are-pooping-their-pants-right-about-now/486525/2 "2009-02-19T09:00:41Z")
> [@Koxinga](#): > > What’s the Brit expression? “Touching cotton?” When the turtle’s head is forcing its way out? “Touching cloth”, I believe. ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-some-rich-americans-are-pooping-their-pants-right-about-now/486525/3 "2009-02-19T09:12:15Z")
> [@](#): > > Under the deal, UBS also will completely stop engaging in the type of cross-border banking business that got them into trouble. So is the end of “swiss bank accounts”? ---
**Author:** ![WormTheRed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/bbe5ce/32.png) [@WormTheRed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WormTheRed)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-some-rich-americans-are-pooping-their-pants-right-about-now/486525/4 "2009-02-19T10:33:17Z")
Haven’t the Swiss been allowing much more access to their accounts lately? I even seem to remember that the days of the “Number Account” are past. So wouldn’t most people have moved their money to safer havens like e.g. Liechtenstein, the Channel Islands and the Carribean? ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-some-rich-americans-are-pooping-their-pants-right-about-now/486525/5 "2009-02-19T11:07:33Z")
> [@Koxinga](#): > > And for once it’s not stock market related. > > [UBS to pay $780M, open secret Swiss bank records:](http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/ubs_secrets) > > What’s the Brit expression? “Touching cotton?” Never heard of ‘touching cotton’ (55 years as a resident Brit!). Lighting the fuse? ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-some-rich-americans-are-pooping-their-pants-right-about-now/486525/6 "2009-02-19T19:53:15Z")
I don’t know about the rest of y’all, but my entire fortune is in the hands of my new online Nigerian pal. ---
**Author:** ![kellner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c2a13f/32.png) [@kellner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellner)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-some-rich-americans-are-pooping-their-pants-right-about-now/486525/7 "2009-02-19T20:24:43Z")
> [@WormTheRed](#): > > Haven’t the Swiss been allowing much more access to their accounts lately? I even seem to remember that the days of the “Number Account” are past. Yes, but initially the banks only cooperated with investigations of crimes and in Switzerland that doesn’t include ordinary tax evasion. ---
**Author:** ![WormTheRed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/bbe5ce/32.png) [@WormTheRed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WormTheRed)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-some-rich-americans-are-pooping-their-pants-right-about-now/486525/8 "2009-02-19T20:27:03Z")
> [@kellner](#): > > Yes, but initially the banks only cooperated with investigations of crimes and in Switzerland that doesn’t include ordinary tax evasion. Ah, gottcha. Thanks for clarifying. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-some-rich-americans-are-pooping-their-pants-right-about-now/486525/9 "2009-02-20T03:35:03Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > I don’t know about the rest of y’all, but my entire fortune is in the hands of my new online Nigerian pal. So _you’re_ the one to whom all those millions really belonged. Glad you got your money back!