# You know they are lying... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 25, 2000, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-they-are-lying/20540 "2000-05-25T20:15:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sledman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@Sledman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sledman)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2000, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-they-are-lying/20540/1 "2000-05-25T20:15:08Z")
Questions that you ask even though you know the answer will be a lie. We all ask these questions. Examples: How’s the Fishing? Or Does this outfit make me look fat? About 8 times out of 10 the person is going to lie to us. We accept that and ask anyway. Why? No really why? Now stop that I’m serious. Also accepting other examples with your explanation. ---
**Author:** ![Ozone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e95f7d/32.png) [@Ozone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ozone)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2000, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-they-are-lying/20540/2 "2000-05-25T20:45:56Z")
Actually, I think that many times we WANT to hear the lie. It’s what we’re looking for. When you ask if an outfit makes you look fat, would you rather someone say “No, it’s that huge gut and big butt that make you look fat”? I think we all want… no, NEED reasurance of things some times, so we ask a question that we know someone won’t be able to tell us the truth about… just a opinion… Oh hey, how about questions we ask, but really don’t want to know the answer of? How many times do you ask someone how it’s going, or how they’re doing? All you expect to hear is “fine”, or “great”. What if they gave you their true answer… “well, my wife just yelled at me, my earlobe has a strange growth on it, and my eyebrow hurts…”? ---
**Author:** ![Ozone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e95f7d/32.png) [@Ozone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ozone)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2000, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-they-are-lying/20540/3 "2000-05-25T20:46:48Z")
Actually, I think that many times we WANT to hear the lie. It’s what we’re looking for. When you ask if an outfit makes you look fat, would you rather someone say “No, it’s that huge gut and big butt that make you look fat”? I think we all want… no, NEED reasurance of things some times, so we ask a question that we know someone won’t be able to tell us the truth about… just a opinion… Oh hey, how about questions we ask, but really don’t want to know the answer of? How many times do you ask someone how it’s going, or how they’re doing? All you expect to hear is “fine”, or “great”. What if they gave you their true answer… “well, my wife just yelled at me, my earlobe has a strange growth on it, and my eyebrow hurts…”? ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2000, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-they-are-lying/20540/4 "2000-05-25T20:55:40Z")
And our latest candidate to play the part of _The Bellman_: **Ozone**! ---
**Author:** ![Achernar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e274bd/32.png) [@Achernar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achernar)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2000, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-they-are-lying/20540/5 "2000-05-25T21:18:31Z")
“The curvature of a fuction Y is defined as (Y’² + 1) / Y’’. As you can see, the curvature will always carry the same sign as the second derivative. The absolute value of the curvature is the reciprocal the radius of the circle which has second-order agreement with the graph of the function, at that point. Furthermore, a continuous second derivative implies a continuous value for the curvature, except at points where the second derivative is identically zero. At these points, there is no circle with second-order agreement, as the radius of curvature is infinite. There, the tangent line to the graph can be treated as a circle of infinite radius, as it shares second-order agreement with the function. Understand?” ---
**Author:** ![Drum\_God](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drum_god/32/44_2.png) [@Drum\_God](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drum_God)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2000, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-they-are-lying/20540/6 "2000-05-25T21:58:28Z")
Acharnar, did you happen to wander into the wrong thread? Or maybe “Understand?” is the question often answered with a lie. In that case, my answer is “Sure, I got it!” ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2000, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-they-are-lying/20540/7 "2000-05-25T22:11:50Z")
Survey-style questions such as this are well-suited to our new forum, **In My Humble Opinion**. I’ll move the thread over there now for you. Enjoy the new forum, and say “Hi!” to **slythe** for me! [test edit. -manhattan] ---
**Author:** ![vandal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/858c86/32.png) [@vandal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vandal)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2000, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-they-are-lying/20540/8 "2000-05-25T22:21:22Z")
Eh? Achernar? Is this a reponse to that math question over in GQ? If someone asks you if they look fat, is that your answer? ---
**Author:** ![psiquest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/0ea827/32.png) [@psiquest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psiquest)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2000, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-they-are-lying/20540/9 "2000-05-26T02:19:57Z")
I think it depends on the question, itself. The example of “how’s the fishing?” would be more of a conversation starter. Small talk. Nothing really important other than passing time. The example of weight is a trick question. The truth is not the correct answer. The lie is the correct answer. We all want to hear that we’re the sexiest being on the planet, even if we know damn well that our physical appearance scares animals and small children (and in some cases, adults, too). 😉 Ozone’s example is a matter of being polite. They don’t care how you are, they’re just asking to be polite. My favorite types of questions are those where the asker knows you have absolutely no way of knowing the answer, but they still ask… and then get annoyed when you tell them you don’t know. Gotta love Moms. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Achernar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e274bd/32.png) [@Achernar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achernar)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2000, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-they-are-lying/20540/10 "2000-05-26T02:38:21Z")
Sorry for the confusion. That whole thing was a bunch of meaningless tripe, thrown in only to confuse the reader, and “Understand?” was supposed to be a question expecting a false answer. But if I’d just put “Understand?” it wouldn’t’ve made much sense, would it’ve? It looks like it didn’t make much sense anyway, but the OP **did** ask for examples of questions like this. ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2000, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-they-are-lying/20540/11 "2000-05-26T04:00:28Z")
but one of the things that always gets me is when people ask you “How are you doing?” WHILE THEY’RE WALKING BY! I mean, if your answer is anything but a one word utterance (you know they’re expecting “good” or “fine”), they won’t hear you, because they’ve already walked past you. (Pit like rant) I mean, for god’s sake, if you really want to know how I’m doing, at least stop when you ask me! ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2000, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-they-are-lying/20540/12 "2000-05-26T04:45:37Z")
I never ask Mr. Rilch if something makes me look fat, or anything along those lines. IMHO, if I have doubts about how I look in something, I can’t carry it off. Even if _he_ thinks it looks good, _I’m_ the one wearing it. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2000, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-they-are-lying/20540/13 "2000-05-26T06:26:42Z")
In socioinguistics class, we discussed the four types of speech actions: constative, performative, ethical, and phatic. Phatic speech actions are ones which have no content but serve a purely social function. So you could argue that since saying “what a beautiful baby!” serves only a social function, it is a phatic sentence, has no content, and is therefore not a lie. Or you could just take the position of the Talmud, which got around this problem by declaring all babies and all brides beautiful by definition. ---
**Author:** ![Myron\_Van\_Horowitzski](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Myron\_Van\_Horowitzski](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myron_Van_Horowitzski)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2000, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-they-are-lying/20540/14 "2000-05-26T18:04:42Z")
DRY, as far as I’ve been able to determine, “How are you doing,” or “How you doon,” is not meant as a question, but only as a greeting. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2000, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-they-are-lying/20540/15 "2000-05-26T20:18:23Z")
Achernar: The expression in parentheses in our expression has to be raised to the 3/2 power. Just thought you should know. Otherwise it makes you look fat. ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2000, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-they-are-lying/20540/16 "2000-05-27T06:43:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > DRY, as far as I’ve been able to determine, “How are you doing,” or “How you doon,” is not meant as a question, but only as a greeting. > \*\* I guess the problem is, when _I_ ask it, I genuinely mean it as a question. And I do stop and listen to what they have to say. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2000, 9:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-they-are-lying/20540/17 "2000-05-27T09:01:23Z")
And then there’s the classic parent question: **"What’s going on in there?!"** Which can only be answered with: **"Nothing!"** ---
**Author:** ![Danielinthewolvesden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce7236/32.png) [@Danielinthewolvesden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danielinthewolvesden)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2000, 9:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-they-are-lying/20540/18 "2000-05-27T09:13:40Z")
“wisdom is when you learn to NOT ask the question you really don’t want to know the answer to”. You may all quote me. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Achernar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e274bd/32.png) [@Achernar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achernar)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2000, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-they-are-lying/20540/19 "2000-05-28T04:36:51Z")
Thanks, and I know. I guess you won’t believe me, though, when I say that the fact that the question is flawed is exactly why you can expect a lie for the answer, would you? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Snark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Snark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snark)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2000, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-they-are-lying/20540/20 "2000-05-28T05:26:01Z")
Nine times out of ten, when I ask my Grandma, “How are you doing?”, she’ll give me a negative response and tell me exactly how badly she’s doing, listing her ailments. I feel sorry for her, but I wish sometimes she would just for once say, “I’m fine, how are you?” I know she’s going through a very hard time, though, so it’s okay if she doesn’t. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-they-are-lying/20540.md?page=2)