# You know what I hate about Christmas? Crowds? Nope. Snow? Nope -- THE FUCKING MUSIC!! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 11, 2002, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate-about-christmas-crowds-nope-snow-nope-the-fucking-music/142109 "2002-12-11T22:06:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![ataraxy22](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ataraxy22/32/307_2.png) [@ataraxy22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ataraxy22)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate-about-christmas-crowds-nope-snow-nope-the-fucking-music/142109/41 "2002-12-13T04:43:03Z")
it’s so bad, they even play that infernal “dreaming of a white christmas” song when there’s snow cover. who the hell cares if rudolph has a red shiney nose?? where i used to live, even the one radio station that played the Beach Boy’s surfin’ usa over and over and over again almost non-stop 24/7/365, would switch over to this sugary crap in december…argh… ---
**Author:** ![Theobroma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5a626/32.png) [@Theobroma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Theobroma)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate-about-christmas-crowds-nope-snow-nope-the-fucking-music/142109/42 "2002-12-13T11:09:29Z")
Hey, **Kambuckta** , I hear ya. Here in Phoenix, it doesn’t snow this time of year any more than it does in Melbourne. So people put fake plastic icicles on their houses, and put Santa hats on the cactus (actually, that is kinda cute), and sing all the stupid songs about the greatness of sleigh rides and general Christmas Whiteness. We all must pretend that we are in Victorian England during the month of December, whether we are in Phoenix or Cyprus or Melbourne. Eeeeesh. My mother works in a department store, and I recall two years in a row when those ornaments that sounded like a bird on amphetamines were popular. TWEEE------EEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeet…TWEEEE------EEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeet…endlessly. Some of the employees tried to yank the batteries, but some manager in a faraway office kept fixing the damned things. All Hail January!!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Misery\_Loves\_Co](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7cd45c/32.png) [@Misery\_Loves\_Co](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misery_Loves_Co)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate-about-christmas-crowds-nope-snow-nope-the-fucking-music/142109/43 "2002-12-13T14:36:52Z")
Strangely enough, I’ve had slightly less problems with the christmas music blitz this year owing to two things: 1.) AFA “xmas jingles” for commercials, Marshall Field’s here in Chi-town has this series with some fucking incredible jazz-scat singers, and the music, while xmas-inspired, is original. If I caught it correctly, the lyrics in one of the commercials were: “your wife says you’ve been naughty - you say you’ve been nice - unless you clean your act up, I’ll be shopping for her twiiiiiice” 2.) Though godamned Target commercials keeping pounding the airwaves w/ Stevie Wonder singing “Chestnuts Roasting” I happen to a fantastic filk of that song. My favorite lines: “You’ll find Carol, getting fucked by the Choir, and folks dressed up like Rush Street Hos . . .” and “Though it’s been said many times, many ways, Merry Christmas, **fuck you** ” So at least I have some way to deflect the worst of it . . . ---
**Author:** ![Velma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/85e7bf/32.png) [@Velma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velma)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate-about-christmas-crowds-nope-snow-nope-the-fucking-music/142109/44 "2002-12-13T16:08:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wabbit \* > \*\*Damn **Velma** , I didn’t think my mall experience could be beat but the elves sound far, far worse than the Barrel of Shrieking Trees. Would you like some of my drugs? 😉 \*\* Well, I don’t work there anymore, but…what kind of drugs? take that, retail hours! I get the whole week of Christmas off this year! And I pick my own music to listen to! I like the Marshall Fields commercials, too. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate-about-christmas-crowds-nope-snow-nope-the-fucking-music/142109/45 "2002-12-13T16:26:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MLC \* > 1.) AFA “xmas jingles” for commercials, Marshall Field’s here in Chi-town has this series with some fucking incredible jazz-scat singers, and the music, while xmas-inspired, is original. I love those! My husband griped that he had one of those stuck in his head all day, but at least it wasn’t an annoying song as well. They also have a few versions of the commercial so it’s not the same freakin’ thing over and over. ---
**Author:** ![Wabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ba9def/32.png) [@Wabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wabbit)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate-about-christmas-crowds-nope-snow-nope-the-fucking-music/142109/46 "2002-12-13T18:19:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Velma \* > \*\*Well, I don’t work there anymore, but…what kind of drugs? > > take that, retail hours! I get the whole week of Christmas off this year! And I pick my own music to listen to! > > \*\* I lied–I don’t actually have any interesting drugs. But I’m sure I would have if I had to work around relentless cheerful, wooden elves! ---
**Author:** ![NailBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecae2f/32.png) [@NailBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NailBunny)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate-about-christmas-crowds-nope-snow-nope-the-fucking-music/142109/47 "2002-12-13T19:21:23Z")
I’m pretty sick of all the traditional stuff, but I can’t get enough of my _Ella Fitzgerald Wishes You a Swingin’ Christmas_ CD. Also on my holiday list is _Merry Christmas From the Space-Age Bachelor Pad_, _Squirrel Nut Zippers’ Christmas Caravan_ and my Louis Armstrong Christmas tape, with such classics as “Christmastime in Harlem” and “Zat You, Santa Claus?” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Waenara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/50afbb/32.png) [@Waenara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waenara)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate-about-christmas-crowds-nope-snow-nope-the-fucking-music/142109/48 "2002-12-13T19:38:04Z")
I agree with **Heloise** , who said that she likes > [@](#): > > “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” sung by Judy Garland. But I to have endured the horror that is working retail over Christmas. Imagine, if you will, this oh-so-innocent song being sung ON A LOOP, by none other than [The Chipmunks.](http://www.chipmunks.com/default.htm) And to think that I actually _had_ fond memories of them from Childhood. ---
**Author:** ![ohlssonvox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/5daacb/32.png) [@ohlssonvox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ohlssonvox)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate-about-christmas-crowds-nope-snow-nope-the-fucking-music/142109/49 "2002-12-14T03:00:06Z")
How about that fruity WHAM song. Imagine this with a really homo voice: "Last Christmas I gave you my heart the very next day you gave it away…" Blah blah blah This is without a doubt the most gay and anoying song in the world. ---
**Author:** ![apotheosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@apotheosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apotheosis)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate-about-christmas-crowds-nope-snow-nope-the-fucking-music/142109/50 "2002-12-14T03:20:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ohlssonvox \* > \*\*Imagine this with a really homo voice: > This is without a doubt the most gay and anoying song in the world. \*\* Welcome to the SDMB! You’re gonna fit in here _juuuuuust_ fine. Remember that scene with the pigs in **Hannibal**? Just curious. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate-about-christmas-crowds-nope-snow-nope-the-fucking-music/142109/51 "2002-12-14T03:22:50Z")
> [@](#): > > I like the soundtrack from the Charlie Brown Christmas cartoon as Christmas music. People laugh when they hear the idea, but then they start listening and want to borrow the CD (and don’t return it - _growl_). Absolutely! We played that album while having Thanksgiving dinner this year. I hope it becomes one of our traditions. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate-about-christmas-crowds-nope-snow-nope-the-fucking-music/142109/52 "2002-12-14T05:36:04Z")
Well, welcome **ohlssonvox**. Pleased to see ya gracing our board here Sunshine… …oh, and by the way, annoying has TWO ‘n’s’. 😃 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate-about-christmas-crowds-nope-snow-nope-the-fucking-music/142109/53 "2002-12-14T05:48:08Z")
> [@](#): > > _Orig. by kambuckta_ > …and fucking partridges in pear trees (no partridges down here folks …) BTW, **kambuckta** , there’ve been partridges in th’ Southern Hemisphere for at least [ten years,](http://www.stuff.co.nz/stuff/0,2106,2137539a11,00.html) according to the article in the link. Slowly, and surely, th’ bastards are turning our world into a carol … (Wolfie carefully types, ‘cause her keyboard has a fault with th’ “n” key, and would hate to spell “annoying” wrong … 🙂 ) ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate-about-christmas-crowds-nope-snow-nope-the-fucking-music/142109/54 "2002-12-14T16:15:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kambuckta \* > \*\*Spare a thought for those of us in the Southern Hemisphere who have to endure the songs that pertain to Good King Wenceslas checking out the SNOW, and Jingle Bells’ sleigh dashing through the SNOW, and fucking partridges in pear trees (no partridges down here folks, or snow for that matter). > > It’s summer in the south you northern Xmas imperialists! 😃 \*\* That’s why I don’t like “Do They Know It’s Christmas?”. Well, one of the reasons: the other is that stuff about “the clanging chimes of doom” and “thank god it’s them instead of you” :eek:. But then they go on to say, “And there won’t be snow in Africa this Christmas…” Jeez! There’s NEVER snow in Africa, at least not in Ethiopia, where the proceeds of the song were supposedly going! And the lack of snow was not a **problem** , relatively speaking. When I hear that, I holler (circumstances permitting), “Yeah, and there won’t be snow in Sydney or Melbourne either; what of it?” That whole song is very poorly written. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate-about-christmas-crowds-nope-snow-nope-the-fucking-music/142109/55 "2002-12-14T18:16:29Z")
> [@](#): > > This is without a doubt the most gay and anoying song in the world Nah, the most gay and annoying song is **The Little Leather Boy** Cum, they told me, pa cum pa cum cum A nipple ring to see, pa cum pa cum cum Our leather caps we bring, pa cum pa cum cum To offer a cock ring, pa cum pa cum cum Rum a cum cum, cum pa cum cum So to bugger him, pa cum pa cum cum When we cum ---
**Author:** ![Skeezix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@Skeezix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skeezix)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate-about-christmas-crowds-nope-snow-nope-the-fucking-music/142109/56 "2002-12-14T19:18:13Z")
See, it’s the dry, subtle witticisms that keep me coming back to the Pit, again and again. [sub]I wonder if I could get my homeowners’ insurance to cover routine keyboard cleanings…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![kung\_fu\_lola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f4b2a3/32.png) [@kung\_fu\_lola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kung_fu_lola)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate-about-christmas-crowds-nope-snow-nope-the-fucking-music/142109/57 "2002-12-14T20:21:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rilchiam \* > \*\*That’s why I don’t like “Do They Know It’s Christmas?”. Well, one of the reasons: the other is that stuff about “the clanging chimes of doom” and “thank god it’s them instead of you” :eek:. But then they go on to say, “And there won’t be snow in Africa this Christmas…” Jeez! There’s NEVER snow in Africa, at least not in Ethiopia, where the proceeds of the song were supposedly going! And the lack of snow was not a **problem** , relatively speaking. When I hear that, I holler (circumstances permitting), “Yeah, and there won’t be snow in Sydney or Melbourne either; what of it?” That whole song is very poorly written. \*\* Amen. I was shopping in an outlet store and I heard that song; and all I could think was; “I **hope** they don’t know it’s Christmas, who needs to be indoctrinated into that whole piggy consumer culture anyway, and who are we to impose our beliefs on them and how Imperialistic is it that we pity people who don’t share our Judeo-Christian traditions?” Why don’t we just feed the hungry **without** trying to convert them? How is that for a concept? Bloody hell! ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate-about-christmas-crowds-nope-snow-nope-the-fucking-music/142109/58 "2002-12-14T23:04:11Z")
Amen right back at you, **kung fu lola**! ---
**Author:** ![Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/2bfe46/32.png) [@Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xavier)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate-about-christmas-crowds-nope-snow-nope-the-fucking-music/142109/59 "2002-12-14T23:13:42Z")
Really… I like _only_ the Christmas music. ---
**Author:** ![JDeMobray](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@JDeMobray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JDeMobray)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2002, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate-about-christmas-crowds-nope-snow-nope-the-fucking-music/142109/60 "2002-12-15T02:41:38Z")
[My Least Favorite](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=101664&highlight=Christmas+Northwest+Song), from last year’s version of this thread. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate-about-christmas-crowds-nope-snow-nope-the-fucking-music/142109.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate-about-christmas-crowds-nope-snow-nope-the-fucking-music/142109.md?page=4)