# You know what I hate?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate/555056
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [September 25, 2010, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate/555056 "2010-09-25T23:34:18Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)
#### Post date: [September 25, 2010, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate/555056/1 "2010-09-25T23:34:18Z")
When I’m taking a piss and the stream becomes suddenly and inexplicably bifurcated.
:mad:
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### Author:  [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)
#### Post date: [September 26, 2010, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate/555056/2 "2010-09-26T01:11:37Z")
Know what I hate? Pecker tracks in my slacks form the last drop or two.
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### Author:  [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)
#### Post date: [September 26, 2010, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate/555056/3 "2010-09-26T01:20:20Z")
You know how when you put an icepick in your ear and then smack it with a hammer? And how much that hurts? Man, I hate that.
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### Author:  [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)
#### Post date: [September 26, 2010, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate/555056/4 "2010-09-26T01:23:49Z")
Dude, we’re talking about piss here. For instance:
You know when you pit an icepick on the head of your dick and smack it with a hammer, and then when you take a pee it shoots out in 3 jets? Yeah, I hate that.
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### Author:  [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)
#### Post date: [September 26, 2010, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate/555056/5 "2010-09-26T01:52:29Z")
You know when your dick is so big that you have to piss into the toilet from the hall? Man, I hate that.
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### Author:  [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)
#### Post date: [September 26, 2010, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate/555056/6 "2010-09-26T02:34:11Z")
Guys, you need to get closer. Much closer.\* Then it won’t matter if your stream is bi- tri- or quadrifurcated.
\*To the bowl. But you knew that.
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### Author:  [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)
#### Post date: [September 26, 2010, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate/555056/7 "2010-09-26T02:38:36Z")
You ever jerk off in the shower using bar soap, and then the soap gets into your urethra and burns like hell after you ejaculate? Man, I hate that.
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### Author:  [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)
#### Post date: [September 26, 2010, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate/555056/8 "2010-09-26T02:58:59Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#):
>
> You ever jerk off in the shower using bar soap
Now _there’s_ an idea…
> [@Dio](#):
>
> and then the soap gets into your urethra and burns like hell after you ejaculate? Man, I hate that.
Never mind.
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### Author:  [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)
#### Post date: [September 26, 2010, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate/555056/9 "2010-09-26T03:07:10Z")
> [@Chefguy](#):
>
> You know how when you put an icepick in your ear and then smack it with a hammer? And how much that hurts? Man, I hate that.
And you drive it into your eardrum…I hate it when that happens.
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### Author:  [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)
#### Post date: [September 26, 2010, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate/555056/10 "2010-09-26T23:05:10Z")
[This will answer your question](http://i305.photobucket.com/albums/nn210/hrhomer/fdgfsgsdfgfg.jpg).
Joe
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### Author:  [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2010, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate/555056/11 "2010-09-27T11:52:49Z")
> [@friedo](#):
>
> When I’m taking a piss and the stream becomes suddenly and inexplicably bifurcated.
> :mad:
Imagine it’s 5am, it’s dark, you’re not wearing your glasses and therefore it takes a while to notice the change in stream.
That’s what I hate.
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### Author:  [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2010, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate/555056/12 "2010-09-27T12:02:07Z")
I hate when someone sews the opening closed and I can’t piss at all. I really hate when that happens.
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### Author:  [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2010, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate/555056/13 "2010-09-27T13:02:48Z")
> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#):
>
> Guys, you need to get closer. Much closer.\* Then it won’t matter if your stream is bi- tri- or quadrifurcated.
>
> \*To the bowl. But you knew that.
Hey, I tried spending more time with it, finding out things we had in common, and sharing feelings. You know what it said? Do you?
It didn’t say anything. For god’s sake, people, it’s a freakin’ toilet.
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### Author:  [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2010, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate/555056/14 "2010-09-27T13:11:53Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#):
>
> > [@Chefguy](#):
> >
> > You know how when you put an icepick in your ear and then smack it with a hammer? And how much that hurts? Man, I hate that.
>
> And you drive it into your eardrum…I hate it when that happens.
Huh, what you say?
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### Author:  [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2010, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate/555056/15 "2010-09-27T13:14:34Z")
> [@wheresgeorge04](#):
>
> [This will answer your question](http://i305.photobucket.com/albums/nn210/hrhomer/fdgfsgsdfgfg.jpg).
>
> Joe
I just took a look at it, and the following thread said “So I had another date”
Pretty much speaks for itself.
_ **- Jack** _
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### Author:  [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2010, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate/555056/16 "2010-09-27T13:24:25Z")
> [@friedo](#):
>
> When I’m taking a piss and the stream becomes suddenly and inexplicably bifurcated.
> :mad:
Bifurcated? Hell, try \* hexfurcated\*. Wet floor and the mark of the devil all in one.
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### Author:  [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2010, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate/555056/17 "2010-09-27T13:36:12Z")
Ya know when you use the wrong lube to jerk off, and your dick gets dandruff, and starts shedding skin like a snake? Man I really hate that.
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### Author:  [@rayman5321](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayman5321)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2010, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate/555056/18 "2010-09-27T13:57:54Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#):
>
> Ya know when you use the wrong lube to jerk off, and your dick gets dandruff, and starts shedding skin like a snake? Man I really hate that.
Try Astro Glide! How are things in Mad Town?
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### Author:  [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2010, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate/555056/19 "2010-09-27T14:00:42Z")
> [@rayman5321](#):
>
> > [@Boyo\_Jim](#):
> >
> > Ya know when you use the wrong lube to jerk off, and your dick gets dandruff, and starts shedding skin like a snake? Man I really hate that.
>
> Try Astro Glide! How are things in Mad Town?
Ya know what I really hate? When my dick can’t find any outside work in Mad Town, and I have to employ it at home. Man I hate that.
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### Author:  [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2010, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-i-hate/555056/20 "2010-09-27T15:29:32Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#):
>
> > [@rayman5321](#):
> >
> > Try Astro Glide! How are things in Mad Town?
>
> Ya know what I really hate? When my dick can’t find any outside work in Mad Town, and I have to employ it at home. Man I hate that.
There’s a song for that too! Google Kevin Bloody Wilson “My dicks on the dole, living on handouts again”