# You Know What the World Needs? Squirrel Catapult. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 8, 2017, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-the-world-needs-squirrel-catapult/803913 "2017-12-08T15:59:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2017, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-the-world-needs-squirrel-catapult/803913/1 "2017-12-08T15:59:36Z")
I have looked. You can buy little office catapults online. You can even buy full-sized catapults online. But my life is not complete without a garden-variety, squirrel catapult of the variety for the garden. I am thinking something capable of launching a 1KG not less than 5M. I would prefer it be capable of firing itself when the beast climbs onto the scoop. I see this as a market niche that is unfilled. Your thoughts? ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2017, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-the-world-needs-squirrel-catapult/803913/2 "2017-12-08T16:56:25Z")
I’d love to see that on YouTube. Preferably with hungry Tigers waiting in the landing zones, ready to scarf up some North American Bushy-Tailed Tree Rat(s). Now that good, clean, American family fun! Guaranteed 1st Prize on America’s Funniest Home Videos! ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2017, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-the-world-needs-squirrel-catapult/803913/3 "2017-12-08T17:03:51Z")
[Spinning bird feeder.](https://www.amazon.com/Droll-Yankees-Flipper-4-Port-Hanging/dp/B00004ZB4U) Run the video to 3:40 ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2017, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-the-world-needs-squirrel-catapult/803913/4 "2017-12-08T17:07:06Z")
Reminds me of the thread that made me fall in love with the Dope, about how to build a goat cannon. Looks like it’s disappeared into the mists of history, though. ---
**Author:** ![X.L.Lent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/a5b964/32.png) [@X.L.Lent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/X.L.Lent)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2017, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-the-world-needs-squirrel-catapult/803913/5 "2017-12-08T17:51:54Z")
Here you go: [squirelapult.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3Ya6z-NlDo) ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2017, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-the-world-needs-squirrel-catapult/803913/6 "2017-12-08T18:31:35Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > Reminds me of the thread that made me fall in love with the Dope, about how to build a goat cannon. Looks like it’s disappeared into the mists of history, though. Ah, one of the classics. [Do they make PVC big enough to launch a goat out of?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=41020) ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2017, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-the-world-needs-squirrel-catapult/803913/7 "2017-12-08T18:45:25Z")
Yes! Thank you! ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2017, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-the-world-needs-squirrel-catapult/803913/8 "2017-12-08T19:11:15Z")
> [@X.L.Lent](#): > > Here you go: [squirelapult.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3Ya6z-NlDo) Just think of what this guy could accomplish if he focused his attention for good. And what is that music? Perfect! ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2017, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-the-world-needs-squirrel-catapult/803913/9 "2017-12-08T19:22:47Z")
What the world…needs now…is catapult…squirrel catapult… ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2017, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-the-world-needs-squirrel-catapult/803913/10 "2017-12-08T19:33:32Z")
what you need is[Hurlasquirrel](https://www.google.com/search?q=hurlasquirrel&tbm=isch&source=iu&ictx=1&fir=qP6MGdOLX5yp8M%253A%252CRx-Q0xifzlcABM%252C_&usg=__8zc5rBZe6lveCBAk1sxupigKVeo%3D&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiD-Lb_k_vXAhWJ4iYKHXgbDZQQ9QEIRjAD#imgrc=qP6MGdOLX5yp8M:)! ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2017, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-the-world-needs-squirrel-catapult/803913/11 "2017-12-08T20:04:11Z")
You know the little shits would figure out how to aim it to get one of theirs into an otherwise-difficult-to-access bird feeder, right? ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2017, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-the-world-needs-squirrel-catapult/803913/12 "2017-12-09T03:10:53Z")
The squirrelaput shows us the way, but it requires two stout posts for the elastic cords. What we need, what the market demands is a ready-made commercial product. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2017, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-the-world-needs-squirrel-catapult/803913/13 "2017-12-09T03:40:15Z")
I saw catapults on the Discovery channel that could throw pianos and Morris Minors. I wondered why drug dealers are not flinging bales of pot across the Mexican border. ---
**Author:** ![Chisquirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6bbea6/32.png) [@Chisquirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chisquirrel)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2017, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-the-world-needs-squirrel-catapult/803913/14 "2017-12-09T07:08:16Z")
I simply cannot agree with this concept. Oh, you mean those little buggers that are annoying as shit, like to get into attics/crawlspaces/other hard-to-reach areas and just piss you off? I, uh, have just the thing. ---
**Author:** ![P-man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/p-man/32/3606_2.png) [@P-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P-man)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2017, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-the-world-needs-squirrel-catapult/803913/15 "2017-12-09T15:37:36Z")
A squirrel catapult would make our dog forget all about chasing tennis balls. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2017, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-the-world-needs-squirrel-catapult/803913/16 "2017-12-09T16:40:03Z")
If it was baited with the same stuff we put in bird feeders, then once in awhile it’d attract a bird. That would be funny to watch. Surprised bird going ass over teakettle backwards, a few feathers coming loose, and about halfway along the arc it rights itself and flies off. Probably with that look on its face like the cat has after it falls off the bookshelf: “Quit laughing; I \*meant \*to do that!” ---
**Author:** ![Channing\_Idaho\_Banks](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/channing_idaho_banks/32/250_2.png) [@Channing\_Idaho\_Banks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Channing_Idaho_Banks)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2017, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-the-world-needs-squirrel-catapult/803913/17 "2017-12-09T18:35:01Z")
> [@jtur88](#): > > I saw catapults on the Discovery channel that could throw pianos and Morris Minors. I wondered why drug dealers are not flinging bales of pot across the Mexican border. They are. > **[Are drugs being catapulted across the border, as Trump said?](https://www.politifact.com/factchecks/2017/sep/27/donald-trump/trump-largely-accurate-claim-about-drugs-catapulte/)** > > A border wall with Mexico is happening, but it has to be see-through so that Americans aren’t knocked out by 100 pounds ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2017, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-the-world-needs-squirrel-catapult/803913/18 "2017-12-10T14:10:32Z")
So who can build one for me? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2017, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-the-world-needs-squirrel-catapult/803913/19 "2017-12-10T20:02:12Z")
You know, I nearly posted in this thread a couple of days ago to chide people for wanting to catapult squirrels - then this morning, the little fuckers chewed through the wiring for my outdoor Christmas lights. I now have a different view. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2017, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-the-world-needs-squirrel-catapult/803913/20 "2017-12-10T20:15:46Z")
Attacks sometimes feel morally unsettling in the doing. _Counter_attacks always feel righteous!! 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-the-world-needs-squirrel-catapult/803913.md?page=2)