# You Know What We Need? New Saints! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 7, 2003, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-we-need-new-saints/206029 "2003-10-07T11:14:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-we-need-new-saints/206029/41 "2003-10-08T17:21:20Z")
There is no **st. rockle** but there is a **St. Rock (Roch/Rocco/Rochus)** - who is incidentally a patron saint of both bachelors _and_ dogs. Hmm. I don’t see professional wrestlers on the list, but I assume that one is a given. Please please please, can I be the patron saint of menthol cigarettes and Mountain Dew? Pretty please? With cherries on top? (They aren’t already “taken,” I checked the list.) ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-we-need-new-saints/206029/42 "2003-10-08T17:37:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by EddyTeddyFreddy \* > \*\*Ah, Saint **Kallessa** – patron saint of preview. \*\* Well, it’s better than being the patron saint of bad jokes. I bet there already is a patron saint of bad jokes–St. Youngman, perhaps? St. Shecky Green? Or maybe the soon to be canonized St. Bob Hope? ---
**Author:** ![smam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/46a35a/32.png) [@smam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smam)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-we-need-new-saints/206029/43 "2003-10-08T18:38:18Z")
How about the Goatse man? I wrote a haiku to mark the occasion - Mark St. Goatses day Patron Saint of train drivers And chimeny sweeps ---
**Author:** ![Gotterfunken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/58956e/32.png) [@Gotterfunken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gotterfunken)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-we-need-new-saints/206029/44 "2003-10-08T20:19:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JRDelirious \* > \*\*It’s worse than you think, **silenus** , one of them – Ursula – got removed from the official calendar in1969. \*\* And St. Catherine of Alexandria is largely regarded as apocryphal–although I see her name is still on the calendar. That is a _very_ cool site, **Rue DeDay**. I could spend hours on there. I enjoyed learning about [St Catherine of Bologna](http://www.catholic-forum.com/saints/saintc26.htm), who I did not realize is the patron saint of art (I’d always assumed it was St. Luke, who is indeed the patron saint of painters). It’s neat that they’ve got her preserved body still propped up in her convent cell. I visited Bologna a few years ago, but I missed out on seeing her–which is too bad, as I seem to have a ghoulish fascination with saints’ relics. While I was in Bologna, I _did_ manage to see [the skull](http://www.op.org/curia/bologna98/jpgs/skull2.jpg) that once belonged to [St. Dominic](http://www.catholic-forum.com/saints/saintd02.htm) (as in, the founder of the Dominican order. The skull is normally enshrined within a reliquary, which they restored a few years ago–the photo shows them putting the skull back into place following the restoration). I’ve also looked upon [the preserved tongue](http://www.anthonyofpadua.info/recognition.html) of [St. Anthony of Padua](http://www.catholic-forum.com/saints/sainta01.htm), and the [enshrined body](http://www.firponet.com/Francesco/Servants/MargheritaCortona/Foto_Margherita.htm) of [St. Margaret of Cortona](http://www.catholic-forum.com/saints/saintm27.htm). And I saw the reputed finger of St. John the Baptist in a reliquary in Florence (sorry, couldn’t find a picture of that). There are many other relics I’ve seen but I can’t recall them all right now. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-we-need-new-saints/206029/45 "2003-10-08T20:46:39Z")
OK. So now teachers are down to only 3 patron saints? This is bad… Of course, having just graded my sophomores first term papers, I think a little prayer to St. Jude would be in order. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-we-need-new-saints/206029/46 "2003-10-08T22:21:08Z")
I heard that the Vatican has _two_ skulls of St. Thomas Aquinas, one from when he was a child and one from when he was full grown. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-we-need-new-saints/206029/47 "2003-10-08T23:32:23Z")
I thought of another: **St. Esprix** - Patron of Vanity Searches ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-we-need-new-saints/206029/48 "2003-10-09T00:01:51Z")
You know **FairyChatMom** , that looks a lot like the the French name for the Holy Spirit (_le Saint-Esprit_) 😃 I got another one : **St. Eve** : patron saint of atheists and everything cinematic. ---
**Author:** ![Gotterfunken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/58956e/32.png) [@Gotterfunken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gotterfunken)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-we-need-new-saints/206029/49 "2003-10-09T01:04:58Z")
I’ve found my new patron saint: [St. Expeditus](http://www.catholic-forum.com/saints/sainte72.htm), the patron saint against procrastination. You couldn’t _make up_ a better saint than that. OK, maybe they did: they admit that he’s “possibly legendary.” Damn. I would think of a new one, but I just don’t feel like doing that right now–maybe I’ll think of something tomorrow. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-we-need-new-saints/206029/50 "2003-10-09T01:11:49Z")
Yep, there’s a patron saint for bakers. St. Honorius is one of four that has us under his wing, but he’s pretty much the only one who is actually represented with baking implements. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-we-need-new-saints/206029/51 "2003-10-09T02:03:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elfbabe \* > \*\* Religion is COOL. \*\* You trying to break our secular humanist hearts? ;D ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-we-need-new-saints/206029/52 "2003-10-09T05:06:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Qadgop the Mercotan \* > \*\*You trying to break our secular humanist hearts? ;D \*\* Face it darlin’, **“Secular Humanism is COOL”** just doesn’t have the same ring. 😉 Although **“Humanists ROCK”** does come close. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-we-need-new-saints/206029/53 "2003-10-09T17:02:45Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **FairyChatMom** _ > > I thought of another: **St. Esprix** - Patron of Vanity Searches I hate you. 😛 > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **detop** _ > > You know **FairyChatMom** , that looks a lot like the the French name for the Holy Spirit (_le Saint-Esprit_) 😃 Well _esprit_ is the word from which I derived **Esprix** , although I was thinking of just the word itself (which means “vivacious cleverness or wit”), not anything spiritual. But you may worship me if you like. 😉 Esprix ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-we-need-new-saints/206029/54 "2003-10-09T17:24:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Esprix \* > \*\*I hate you. 😛 \*\* You can’t hate me - I’m nice, dammit! (she said as she barely suppressed her giggles…) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-we-need-new-saints/206029/55 "2003-10-09T17:46:34Z")
I think **FairyChatMom** would make a wonderful \*Patron Saint of warm cookies \*or of _apple pie in the open window._ ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-we-need-new-saints/206029/56 "2003-10-09T21:53:15Z")
\*\*FairyChatMom could also be patron saint of giggles and comforting maternal bosoms. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-we-need-new-saints/206029/57 "2003-10-09T21:55:50Z")
And **EddyTeddyFreddy]** nominates herself for patron saint of bad coding. :o :smack: :o [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-what-we-need-new-saints/206029.md?page=2)