Sounds like “Intervention” time…
You know you drink too much when you go missing and they alert the public by putting your picture on bottles of scotch.
…you try to flick something off your shoulder, and you find out it’s the floor.
I should clarify: keep drinking if you must, but NOT THE EX… :eek:
. . .when you decide it’s finally time to buy that Velcro suit so you don’t keep falling off the couch.
You go out for a night on the town in New York City, NY and wake up a week later, alone, on a beach in Miami, Florida, with not a stitch of clothing on you, no money, ID or belongings of any kind…and no clue as to how that happened.
Just for reference:
The 10 Stages of Human Drunkenness
1). Witty and Charming
2). Rich and Powerful
3). Benevolent
4). Clairvoyant
5). Fuck Dinner
6). Patriotic
7). Crank Up the Enola Gay
8). Witty and Charming, Part II
9). Invisible
10). Bulletproof
Oh man, This has happened to me more than once. Beer goggles indeed.
True story.
One night.
A friend says," Hey where’d Jimmy go?"
Me: " Hahaha he’s probably passed out in a bush outside."
Everyone: laughs
The next morning.
knock knock knock
Me: opens door
Jimmy: “Dude can I get a ride home?”
Me: “What the fuck? Why are you here?”
Jimmy: “I passed out in the backyard last night.”
… you wake up from a sleep hearing your phone ring. So you pick it up. It’s your uncle Leeroy, He says he’s coming over to visit you tomorrow. After you hang up you realize that you don’t have an uncle Leeroy… or a phone.
Which reminds me of my own true-life experience:
…when you wake up in a tree.
I’ve been to that party, except Jimmy’s name was Gregg.
when you wake up face down on a street in Tijuana, and then have to buy your shoes back from a kid for $20
when you live in Wisconsin.
Sometime in mid-July, you stumble upon YouTube video of yourself from the previous New Year’s Eve, dancing around your kitchen to the Village People’s YMCA.
True story—it happened to my wife’s boss. And I told her I was going to put it on YouTube, so she really should have paid more attention.
Just today I received my universal remote control watch from Woot which I would never wear and have no memory whatsoever of ordering. (I’m trying to cut down.)
The funny thing is, the last time I tried to order something online, I realized that my security code had worn to the point where it is completely unreadable, so I had to buy a similar item item locally.
Dear god, my laugh was so explosive and tinged with the quality of “yelp” that my husband rose off the couch to see if I was dying.
When you:
Pay for your groceries/gas/rent/a small island in the caribean with your bottle/can returns
Have a brilliant artistic inspiration, go down into your studio, proceed to use that 48"X60" of hand made paper you have been saving for years (very expensive), clog up two airbrushes with improperly mixed paint, (discarding them to dry into expesnsive junk), lose inspiration and wander off, having done about $350 in damage to your art materials budget
Get into flame wars with people you don’t know, about issues you care or know nothing about, and then give them your home ph #…
You decide to “fine tune” yuour computer’s operating/wireless config, screwing it up for weeks…
I used to drink…
FML
…wake up three days later piloting a small aircraft, with your copilot passed out and a hooker doing cocaine in the bathroom. Not my story; I remember someone here (maybe Qadgop?) posting about it.
When you have to get a ride home from the bar… and you live across the street. I tried to get the waitress to go home with me that night.
And you started drinking in NYC.
The above story happened to my friend, except he woke up in a gutter in the Shibuya area of Tokyo, (on the way to his home from Roppongi), with a full load in his briefs, broken glasses and about $100 missing from his wallet.