# You know you're getting old when...
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-getting-old-when/357172
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [May 17, 2006, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-getting-old-when/357172 "2006-05-17T21:34:34Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2006, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-getting-old-when/357172/41 "2006-05-19T02:24:48Z")
When I hired my assistant and found out I was the same age as her _mother._
By the way, that was 15 years ago.
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### Author:  [@Khampelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khampelf)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2006, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-getting-old-when/357172/42 "2006-05-19T02:30:58Z")
> [@KP](#):
>
> And as I hung up on my cell phone, it occured to me
> It had a vidsceen like Dick Tracy
> Where’re the flying cars they promised me?
>
> CHORUS
**KP** , that was awesome, you rock. “Cat’s in the Cradle”, right?
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### Author:  [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2006, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-getting-old-when/357172/43 "2006-05-19T02:38:16Z")
. . . you meet the Perfect Man–a bad-movie Mr. Right–divorced, straight, cute, lots of interests in common–and you have _absolutely no interest_ in following up.
In the Battle of the Sexes, I am officially Switzerland.
Except I don’t steal money from dead Jews.
. . . usually . . .
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### Author:  [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2006, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-getting-old-when/357172/44 "2006-05-19T02:49:36Z")
…you realise that the Minister of Health is younger than you are.
And then you go to the government website and check who it is, and it’s a different person, and he’s _still_ younger than you are.
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### Author:  [@beebee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beebee)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2006, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-getting-old-when/357172/45 "2006-05-19T02:55:29Z")
when the cop who pulls you over looks like he should get back to school. (do your parents know where you are?)
when you go to a concert, and there’s no smoking. of anything. (last time i saw arlo, it smelled different.)
when you mention woodstock and some one asks "which one?. ( good God, there was only ONE woodstock that counts!!!)
when your neighbor’s kid asks how to use your phone. (i have a 1947 bell telephone that was my grandma’s. it still works, so i use it)
but tom tuerff said it best, and since i forgot how to cut & paste (alzheimers, no doubt), here is th link to the lyrics. the top song on the left “baby boomers”['Something To Sell At My Gigs"](http://hometown.aol.com/nudeadguy/lyrics.html)
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### Author:  [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2006, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-getting-old-when/357172/46 "2006-05-19T02:56:47Z")
> [@Beware of Doug](#):
>
> When people younger than you are Senators, CEOs, and hypertensives.
Yah, my mom was really surprised when she realized she was older than the President (Clinton, at the time, and now Bush, I suppose).
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### Author:  [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2006, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-getting-old-when/357172/47 "2006-05-19T03:05:15Z")
You know you’re old when your friends and relatives begin sending you the '50s nostalgia bits in email . . . and you recognize every item on the list.
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### Author:  [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2006, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-getting-old-when/357172/48 "2006-05-19T04:10:32Z")
You know you’re getting old when every part of your body either dries up or leaks.
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### Author:  [@Malienation](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malienation)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2006, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-getting-old-when/357172/49 "2006-05-19T04:15:08Z")
1. Grey chest hair. The balding thing never bothered me because I look fairly well with slightly greying hair in spite of the receding hairline (besides, younger brother is almost completely bald, so I gotta count my blessings!).
2. Skin tags.
3. Lost a lotta weight, realized that, unlike past weight losses, my skin is not contracting back as enthusiatically as it used to.
4. After a severe gout attack, I went online to shop for canes.
5. Finally giving in and going on gout medication (forever!) when the weight loss and dietary changes don’t work enough (almost didn’t include this because the medication works so well, is cheap, and hasn’t shown any side effects).
6. Realizing that I’m older than my dad was when I met my oldest friend that I still know.
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### Author:  [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2006, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-getting-old-when/357172/50 "2006-05-19T04:20:01Z")
I said it in another thread, but…
…when you go to the videostore, and there’s a tenth-anniversary copy of a movie you watched avidly in the theatres as a kid.
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### Author:  [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2006, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-getting-old-when/357172/51 "2006-05-19T06:55:46Z")
When people start bugging you to attend your 50th high school class reunion. (2 years to go)
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### Author:  [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2006, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-getting-old-when/357172/52 "2006-05-19T07:35:20Z")
The other day, I beat a strong lad, half my age, at arm-wrestling…
…he told me I had “Old Man Strength”.
as it turns out, he really did mean it as a complement.
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### Author:  [@UntouchedTakeaway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UntouchedTakeaway)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2006, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-getting-old-when/357172/53 "2006-05-19T10:16:43Z")
You remember when gaucho pants were in style the FIRST time - and you wouldn’t wear them _then_ because they were ugly.
You see a hot guy at the mall, and get pissed as he’s walking with a 20 year old girl. Then you hear her say “Thanks, Daddy!” as she hugs him. :eek:
You begin to think your father’s reaction to your Ted Nugent “Cat Scratch Feve” album cover was a tad over the top, considering what flows from ipods these days.
All of your childhood memories - Don Knotts, Captain Kangaroo, etc., start to pass away.
VCNJ~
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### Author:  [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2006, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-getting-old-when/357172/54 "2006-05-19T10:27:36Z")
> [@Mouse\_Maven](#):
>
> You owned a black and white TV with the two dial knobs.
No dial knobs, but you had to turn on our TV five to ten minutes before watching. It had to get “warmed up”. Or something.
> [@](#):
>
> You know how to do long-division on paper because no one in your elementry school could afford a calculator.
We just learned it. In seventh grade we got calculators and I didn’t get the point of maths if you had a calculator.
> [@](#):
>
> You still have records and cassett tapes.
I _have_ cassette tapes, but no equipment that can play them back.
Oh, and I had never heard of Wings before this thread. I had heard of Beatles, though.
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### Author:  [@Frosted\_Glass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frosted_Glass)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2006, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-getting-old-when/357172/55 "2006-05-19T10:44:42Z")
I will never forget last spring break when I was playing Catchphrase with my aunts and cousins. My aunt got a word and started to give hints to my 14 year old cousin. As soon as she said the second word I was on the floor laughing.
Aunt: “Ok, it plays music recorded onto round things.”
Cousin: “CD Player!”
A: “No, not lasers. It uses a needle.”
C: _Blank stare_
A: “Before we had cassette players we had…”
C: “8-track player!”
A: “No, before that. 45’s, 33’s, LPs”
C: _Blank stare_
A: “It plays music pressed into vinyl.”
C: “Vinyl?”
A: “You spin me right round baby right round like a…”
C: “Roller coasters don’t play music.”
At this point they ran out of time. The rest of us were practically pissing ourselves it was so damn funny. When the buzzer hit my aunt was in a state of disbelief because she is the youngest sister at 37. Even after she told my cousin that the word was record player, my cousin was still confused until I leaned over and explained to her that it is a turntable. To which she replied, “You mean those weren’t made for scratching?”
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### Author:  [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2006, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-getting-old-when/357172/56 "2006-05-19T10:55:10Z")
> [@Eve](#):
>
> In the Battle of the Sexes, I am officially Switzerland.
And once again the Dope’s Queen of the Bon Mot steps up and smacks one out of the park! 😃
(I prefer “My sex appeal is now a registered charity” myself.)
I’m not that old really, but I’m older than our priest… who is a _retired_ policeman turned to the cloth. :eek:
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### Author:  [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2006, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-getting-old-when/357172/57 "2006-05-19T11:36:57Z")
There is much less time separating the end of WWII - in which the Luftwaffe tried to kill my parents - and the year I was born than there is between today and the end of the Vietnam War. A ten year old kid today has more distance between him and the fall of Saigon than I have with the Normandy landings.
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### Author:  [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2006, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-getting-old-when/357172/58 "2006-05-19T12:17:15Z")
You are not old when you leave your reading glasses laying around. You are old when you never go anywhere without them.
You are old when your doctor is a kid who calls you ‘Mister.’
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### Author:  [@cabdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cabdude)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2006, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-getting-old-when/357172/59 "2006-05-19T13:15:00Z")
My hot water system died the other week.
It was installed before the apprentice who came to replace it was born.
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### Author:  [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)
#### Post date: [May 20, 2006, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-getting-old-when/357172/60 "2006-05-20T02:47:07Z")
When people five years younger than you are bitching about how old they are and how time’s passing them by.
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