# You Know You're in an Old Movie When **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 22, 2003, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-an-old-movie-when/176818 "2003-05-22T14:58:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-an-old-movie-when/176818/1 "2003-05-22T14:58:41Z")
You live in New York, your neighbors stop by on the way to the club, dressed in evening clothes, and you have a shaker of martinis all ready to serve. ---
**Author:** ![Tanaqui](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Tanaqui](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tanaqui)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-an-old-movie-when/176818/2 "2003-05-22T15:08:09Z")
EVERYONE smokes like a chimney. Especially inside. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-an-old-movie-when/176818/3 "2003-05-22T15:28:35Z")
Did the former girlfriend of one of your neighbors turn up dead, and you all had to solve the murder? While trading bon mots and sipping the martinis? ---
**Author:** ![Trion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Trion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trion)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-an-old-movie-when/176818/4 "2003-05-22T15:35:44Z")
You’re married. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-an-old-movie-when/176818/5 "2003-05-22T15:38:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*Did the former girlfriend of one of your neighbors turn up dead, and you all had to solve the murder? While trading bon mots and sipping the martinis? \*\* Wait a minute. I acknowledge that you are the mistress of all things glittering and Algonquin-ey about American culture, **Eve** , but couldn’t you just as easily be in an episode of _Hart to Hart_ with that? ---
**Author:** ![Albert\_Rose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@Albert\_Rose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Albert_Rose)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-an-old-movie-when/176818/6 "2003-05-22T15:40:28Z")
Nobody swears, and music starts playing from somewhere very well-hidden while you sing and dance. ---
**Author:** ![Albert\_Rose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@Albert\_Rose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Albert_Rose)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-an-old-movie-when/176818/7 "2003-05-22T15:44:38Z")
Oh, and if you and your spouse sleep in different beds, then you’re in a gold movie! ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-an-old-movie-when/176818/8 "2003-05-22T15:48:17Z")
Everyone is wearing a hat. ---
**Author:** ![Labdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@Labdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labdad)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-an-old-movie-when/176818/9 "2003-05-22T15:49:01Z")
You pick up the phone and say, “Operator, get me \_\_\_\_\_.” And the number you ask for is only four digits. ---
**Author:** ![Francis\_E\_Dec\_Esq](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@Francis\_E\_Dec\_Esq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francis_E_Dec_Esq)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-an-old-movie-when/176818/10 "2003-05-22T15:51:38Z")
When you get a close look at your girlfriend, she seems slightly hazy, as if you were looking through a filter. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Bongo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a9adbd/32.png) [@Winston\_Bongo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Bongo)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-an-old-movie-when/176818/11 "2003-05-22T15:56:14Z")
You have a conversation with another character that takes place entirely in one shot, instead of cutting back and forth to close-ups 400 times. ---
**Author:** ![Muad\_Dib](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/35a633/32.png) [@Muad\_Dib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muad_Dib)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-an-old-movie-when/176818/12 "2003-05-22T15:58:21Z")
The colored folk are perfectly happy with their seperate and equal status. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-an-old-movie-when/176818/13 "2003-05-22T16:00:40Z")
I _could_ conceivably, **kaylasdad99** , be in the middle of a _Hart to Hart_. But I would much more likely be in the middle of a _Thin Man_ movie. It all depends on your screenwriters and costars . . . And, of course, your costumer! Adrian, please, not Grady Hunt. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-an-old-movie-when/176818/14 "2003-05-22T16:03:19Z")
The heroine declares something, and follow it up with “I tell you!” As in, “The police are chasing us, I tell you!” ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-an-old-movie-when/176818/15 "2003-05-22T16:03:28Z")
Besides blacks, there are no other minorities around. ---
**Author:** ![Muad\_Dib](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/35a633/32.png) [@Muad\_Dib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muad_Dib)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-an-old-movie-when/176818/16 "2003-05-22T16:04:58Z")
Not true **Amp**. My father is a big fan of the old _Charlie Chan Mysteries_. ---
**Author:** ![TWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@TWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TWDuke)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-an-old-movie-when/176818/17 "2003-05-22T16:12:32Z")
You’re alone in the bedroom with a beautiful girl but she insists on keeping one foot on the floor. Strangely enough, when you were kissing in the hall, she couldn’t keep both feet on the floor. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-an-old-movie-when/176818/18 "2003-05-22T16:13:18Z")
Nobody hurls or bleeds. Well, maye a DISCREET trickle of blood, but there’s no SPLASHING blood. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-an-old-movie-when/176818/19 "2003-05-22T16:28:33Z")
Everything is colorless. All men (other than workmen) wear suits and white shirts. The boy and the girl feel a song coming on (well, maybe that one’s coming back). Teenagers never think about sex, and their idea of hot action is a malt at the drugstore soda counter and a goodnight kiss. The drugstore soda counter, for that matter. ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-an-old-movie-when/176818/20 "2003-05-22T16:30:37Z")
I look fabulous in a long gown made of beads and feathers. Everyone can dance (REALLY dance) and even I can dance marvelously backwards and in high heels. And every so often, everyone stops and sings - and we all have perfect pitch and know all the words. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-an-old-movie-when/176818.md?page=2)