# You know you're in trouble when... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 13, 2002, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617 "2002-11-13T20:49:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/201 "2002-12-14T19:52:31Z")
. . . you are starting to sip your coffee, and Stan Laurel walks in and asks you what time it is. ---
**Author:** ![Soup\_du\_jour](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Soup\_du\_jour](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soup_du_jour)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/202 "2002-12-14T21:38:59Z")
…you obtain any sort of property that is built on an Indian Burial Ground, especially if it’s an isolated ski resort. ---
**Author:** ![Justhink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/edb3f5/32.png) [@Justhink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justhink)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2002, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/203 "2002-12-15T01:35:10Z")
… you vaguely recognize the person who is soliciting at your door. After a small speel about Green Peace, they grow frustrated and pull a paper out of their pocket and start reading it really loud with their foot in the door, saying things like: "Over the Rainbow, Alpha, Beta, Delta, Omega… That’s last thing you recall before waking up in a prison cell. -Justhink ---
**Author:** ![robertliguori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@robertliguori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robertliguori)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2002, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/204 "2002-12-15T01:57:41Z")
A normally-unthreatening girl has just said “Bored now.” ---
**Author:** ![Kameko](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/43a26b/32.png) [@Kameko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kameko)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/205 "2003-05-20T21:24:00Z")
…you’re a fresh-faced young thing in the Old West and you’ve fallen in love with Joe Cartwright. ---
**Author:** ![Terminus\_Est](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terminus_est/32/3087_2.png) [@Terminus\_Est](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terminus_Est)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/206 "2003-05-20T21:33:26Z")
…you’re a newbie that resurrects a six-month old thread. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2003, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/207 "2003-05-21T01:55:58Z")
You go to see the giant monster that the explorers brought back with them. If you can just hold out three more minutes until the sun rises, you’ll be safe. 200 meters up/down the scaffolding/ mineshaft/ dangling cable, you drop the vital tool you need. The hero spares your life, turns his back and walks away- and you just can’t resist the temptation to try to shoot him in the back. You finally get your hands on the priceless treasure, and are too busy gloating to notice the door sliding shut behind you. You cheated your partner, stole his girl, shot him, and abandoned him in a place where he had no chance of survival- but you didn’t actually see him die. You decide to hide a corpse instead of notifying the proper authorities. A demon offers you a wish (or three wishes) without demanding any form of payment. Your radio/ cell phone/ communicator suddenly cuts out. You’re walking alone at night in a place where your footsteps echo. Your only source of light is a book of paper matches you have to keep lighting one by one. You find a coffin that is chained shut. One of your co-workers has been killed by an alien creature, but the head of the project insists on sparing the creature’s life. Investigating some mysterious disappearences, you discover that a local swamp was a dumping ground for radioactive or toxic waste. The scientist you consult with says that the footprint/ tooth/ clawmark/ scales you found look like they’re from a [animal’s name here]- only much, much bigger. A spectacular meteor was spotted last night. Someone you know shows up with a strange awkward gait- as if they haven’t quite got the hang of walking yet- and you talk nonstop to them while they don’t say a word. You’re a sheriff’s deputy, alone at night without backup, and you just discovered a bunch of bodies in that hermit’s shack. ---
**Author:** ![FairyDust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ccd318/32.png) [@FairyDust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyDust)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2003, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/208 "2003-05-21T02:13:25Z")
You arrive at work to find the tv crew from “60 Minutes” waiting for you. ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2003, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/209 "2003-05-21T06:22:03Z")
… when you’re camping in territory that was once home to some sort of ferocious evil being, but it’s quite certainly been dead for thousands of years, and in fact it probably never existed at all. …when the previous knight got “What is your favorite color?” as his third question. … when you’re a corporate spokesperson and some guy named Michael Moore wants to interview you for his next documentary. … when Walder Frey is being nice to you. … when you’re a middle-aged white male, you’re skeptical about some supernatural phenomenon, and M. Night Shyamalan is directing. ---
**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2003, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/210 "2003-05-21T07:53:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kameko \* > \*\*…you’re a fresh-faced young thing in the Old West and you’ve fallen in love with Joe Cartwright. \*\* **WELCOME TO THE BOARDS, Kameko!!!** _ **Some** _body after your first post should say so! Nice goin’ guys. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Morelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Morelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morelin)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2003, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/211 "2003-05-21T16:09:52Z")
… when you’re on a ship that is absolutely unsinkable. ---
**Author:** ![Morelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Morelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morelin)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2003, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/212 "2003-05-21T16:10:16Z")
… when you’re on a ship that is absolutely unsinkable. ---
**Author:** ![frithrah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ad7895/32.png) [@frithrah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/frithrah)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2003, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/213 "2003-05-21T16:44:39Z")
You see two police cars in your rear view mirror and there’s only one. ---
**Author:** ![Payton\_s\_Servant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3da27b/32.png) [@Payton\_s\_Servant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Payton_s_Servant)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2003, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/214 "2003-05-21T16:47:53Z")
When you wake up in the middle of surgery to hear a voice saying, **The power of Christ _compels_ you! The power of Christ _compels_ you! The power of Christ _compels_ you!** …Some guy offers you $2000 to drive a van back from Mexico for him …You get an email from a Nigerian banker …You say to yourself, "_Why should I wear a condom? This is Haiti, they don’t have any disease here."_ …Your roomate comes rushing into the apartment, shoves a green trash bag filled with something into your hands, and asks you to hide it "_somewhere safe in the pad"_ for him, then he asks if he can borrow some money and your car keys. After he leaves, you hear a lot of sirens and they are getting closer. …You find yourself agreeing with anything Rush Limbaugh/Anne Coulter/Bill O’Reilly/Michael Savage/Sean Hannity has to say ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2003, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/215 "2003-05-21T17:13:06Z")
…you’re not sure whether it’s the blue wire or the red wire that you’re supposed to cut. …one of your co-workers has an obsession with red staplers and mumbles. ---
**Author:** ![MissSwish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/db5fbb/32.png) [@MissSwish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissSwish)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2003, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/216 "2003-05-21T17:53:45Z")
…You are the Devil and you’re headed to Georgia. …You’re a character in a Stephen King short story… and you are the “survivor type” …you’ve thrown tampons at Carrie ---
**Author:** ![Netbrian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71e660/32.png) [@Netbrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Netbrian)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2003, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/217 "2003-05-21T18:01:02Z")
…Some hippie is complaining that your latest project is upsetting the natural balance of the world. ---
**Author:** ![FairyDust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ccd318/32.png) [@FairyDust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyDust)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2003, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/218 "2003-05-21T21:49:08Z")
…you place the key made of green Kryptonite onto the spaceship that carried you to earth, even though your best friend Pete strongly advised you not to do it, and even though you knew your Earth parents wouldn’t want you to do it. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/219 "2003-05-22T02:47:17Z")
singing and not paying attention, you accidently - -Paint Moe’s Face - Stick a crowbar in Moe’s nose - Smack Moe in the face with the Broom Hndel or forgetting your easy-to-grab curly hairdo you - - Tell Moe to Leave Curley alone - Give Moe a smart-ass answer to any of his questions or You’re rhe guy in the suit who hires three imbiciles to get rid of the mice (while you have a fancy party in progress) ---
**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/220 "2003-05-22T07:23:50Z")
Another Newbie!!! Welcome to the boards, **BubbaDog** , hope you didn’t forget your hamster food! Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617.md?page=12)