# You know you're in trouble when... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 13, 2002, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617 "2002-11-13T20:49:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Dragonblink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Dragonblink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragonblink)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/101 "2002-11-22T05:12:58Z")
… you’re _any_ character in a Victor Hugo novel. … the guy you just shot up complains about the damage to his shirt. ---
**Author:** ![Darwins\_Finch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darwins_finch/32/20304_2.png) [@Darwins\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darwins_Finch)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/102 "2002-11-22T05:33:35Z")
You’re up against a Sicilian, and death is on the line. Or you’ve gotten yourself involved in a land war in Asia. ---
**Author:** ![Gerome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85e7bf/32.png) [@Gerome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gerome)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/103 "2002-11-22T05:36:23Z")
…you decide not to cover that heel with any armour, the Trojans arent that good a shot anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/104 "2002-11-22T05:53:34Z")
…you look up and see great yellow spaceships hanging in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t. ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/105 "2002-11-22T06:55:05Z")
…you notice a crop duster crop dusting where there’s no crops. ---
**Author:** ![AtomicDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@AtomicDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AtomicDog)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/106 "2002-11-22T10:41:28Z")
…a Vogon decides, before he has you chucked out the airlock, to see what you think of this poem he’s working on. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Moto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mr.Moto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Moto)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/107 "2002-11-22T13:41:55Z")
You’re made of clay, and get to play with Mr. Hand. ---
**Author:** ![vandal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/858c86/32.png) [@vandal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vandal)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/108 "2002-11-22T23:02:18Z")
When you are threatened, and just to make sure, you ask, “is that a threat?” They say, “no, that’s a promise.” ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/109 "2002-11-22T23:20:01Z")
You upset a boss with a freaky looking white cat. You run into a four foot high talking salt shaker. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/110 "2002-11-22T23:21:15Z")
There’s a helicopter scene and the director is John Landis. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/111 "2002-11-22T23:37:09Z")
You’re assigned to an Antarctic weather outpost with Kurt Russell. ---
**Author:** ![Hometownboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5e9695/32.png) [@Hometownboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hometownboy)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2002, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/112 "2002-11-23T05:46:41Z")
Yama-Dharma takes a dislike to you. You hustle some rube from south Alabama name of Willie McCoy and he comes looking for you and your drop-top Cadillac. Your name is Gruber and this guy named McCain takes an interest in your little scheme. ---
**Author:** ![WortMeWorry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@WortMeWorry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WortMeWorry)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2002, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/113 "2002-11-23T06:52:25Z")
A crazed albino, with a moaning black sword , is shouting your name. You are assigned gaurd duty, for a prisoner named Conan. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2002, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/114 "2002-11-23T06:56:03Z")
You’re the senior officer on a project being overseen by Darth Vader. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2002, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/115 "2002-11-23T06:56:08Z")
… your birth certificate has an expiration date. ---
**Author:** ![Terminus\_Est](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terminus_est/32/3087_2.png) [@Terminus\_Est](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terminus_Est)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2002, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/116 "2002-11-23T07:14:10Z")
…you’re taking a shower in a strange motel and suddenly you hear screeching violins. ---
**Author:** ![Hometownboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5e9695/32.png) [@Hometownboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hometownboy)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2002, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/117 "2002-11-23T07:30:58Z")
You sit down for a friendly game of poker with a redheaded guy named Lazarus or Woodrow. ---
**Author:** ![Katisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bcef8e/32.png) [@Katisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katisha)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2002, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/118 "2002-11-23T08:09:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LonesomePolecat \* > \*\*The movie title has Roman numerals at the end. \*\* The best part is that this works for classy stuff, too. _Henry V, Richard III_ – both have awfully high body counts… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2002, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/119 "2002-11-23T08:44:46Z")
You answer a knocked door, and a very muscular man asks you if you’re Sarah Connor. You see a large, leathery egg suddenly open up like a flower. You’re a census taker an the man you’re interviewing has fava beans and a nice Chianti on the countertop. One of your bandmembers has become infatuated with a Japanese Avant Garde artist. You’re giving your son a crew-cut with your clippers, when you see three sixes on his scalp. Yoy click on Straight Dope Message Board on your list of favorites, and end up with a Page Not Found. ---
**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2002, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617/120 "2002-11-23T08:48:39Z")
You’re the only one who can see your friend Harvey. A burly guy in a white lab coat asks you, “What’s a pooka?” Hey! I’m a geezer. Whadaya want from me? * * * Geezer [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-in-trouble-when/136617.md?page=7)