# You know you're really getting old when . . . **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 21, 2000, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-really-getting-old-when/30229 "2000-08-21T22:48:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-really-getting-old-when/30229/21 "2000-08-22T19:24:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kunilou \* > \*\*You wonder who’s going to babysit the babysitter. \*\* LOL, I actually asked a bartender a couple weeks ago. “Uh, are you old enough to serve alcohol?” ---
**Author:** ![rundogrun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5daacb/32.png) [@rundogrun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rundogrun)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-really-getting-old-when/30229/22 "2000-08-22T19:24:41Z")
You’re at the late night drug store, checking out the beautiful girl who just came from the gym and has on top of her shopping cart a box of lambskin condoms and a big ole tube of KY. Best of all, she’s looking back…except she’s noticing the container of anal suppositories you’re buying for your constipated son. Ummm…I don’t think we were thinking the same thing. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-really-getting-old-when/30229/23 "2000-08-22T19:27:38Z")
(and isnt’ THAT a sign of age as well) the REAL thing is : When you go to Bill Knapps on your Birthday 'cause that age as a percentage of your discount is REALLY a good deal! (and the corrolary for my SO, is he actually carries a BILL KNAPPS CREDIT CARD!!!) and, by the way, to avoid embarassing the poor person who asked what was Gregg shorthand, it is a method of writing symbols for words that allows a person who is proficient at it to quote folks verbatim as they’re talking . most folks I’ve seen take notes do it on a lap top now, so, it’s not as favored as it once was, but for a number of years, it was a required skill for a secretary, and if your secretary left you, you were screwed since probably no one else could read THEIR notes… ---
**Author:** ![uberDave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f04885/32.png) [@uberDave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/uberDave)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-really-getting-old-when/30229/24 "2000-08-22T20:37:00Z")
…when you go out thinking ‘I’m ready to party tonight’ and after about two drinks you’re already considering when you have to get up in the morning and realize that if you have anymore to drink you’re gonna feel bad for two days. (Yes, all your elasticity is gone, you just can’t snap back anymore). And anyway, why are all these children in the bar. My god, don’t they card anyone anymore. What?.. Everyone here is old enough to drink…legally? …when ‘curmudgeon’ seems to be your middle name ---
**Author:** ![ENugent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@ENugent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ENugent)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-really-getting-old-when/30229/25 "2000-08-22T20:47:35Z")
…when you start saying “Thank you” when waitresses card you. ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-really-getting-old-when/30229/26 "2000-08-22T21:39:46Z")
When your favorite band, that band that you used to think was the personification of youth and rebellion, embarrasses you by taking their greying asses onstage and screaming and grabbing their crotches and trying to do the splits, and you’re thinking, “Hey, Grandpa! Go get a haircut! Go get a real job!” Lord have mercy on us. ---
**Author:** ![Baglady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cab0a1/32.png) [@Baglady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baglady)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2000, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-really-getting-old-when/30229/27 "2000-08-23T01:14:21Z")
friedo asked: _WTF is Gregg Shorthand? That sounds vaguely obscene._ Bwa hahaha… pugluvr’s point exactly! Gregg? Feh! How many of us learned how to write using Palmer?? ---
**Author:** ![AWB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@AWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AWB)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2000, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-really-getting-old-when/30229/28 "2000-08-23T01:53:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by cygnus \* > \*\ ***AWB** , 😃 > > And I’m honored by your greeting. {deep bow} The quest for balance lasts a lifetime. > > And I’m not going bald, thank goodness, but I’m definitely graying a little. Isn’t it odd that when they wrote that song, they were only about 20 years old? It must have been an extremely hearty night of partying to find one waking up in that “feeling really old” state of mind. \*\* I still find solace that one of my favorite lullabies (i.e., music I put on and fall asleep to) is “The Fountain of Lamneth” off the “Caress of Steel” album. :)🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2000, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-really-getting-old-when/30229/29 "2000-08-23T02:59:23Z")
You know you are getting old when you see a cute girl and you think to yourself, "Oh my God, I would love to get her… _…to babysit!_ * * * Yer pal, Satan [sub]TIME ELAPSED SINCE I QUIT SMOKING: Four months, two weeks, 54 minutes and 32 seconds. 5441 cigarettes not smoked, saving $680.19. Life saved: 2 weeks, 4 days, 21 hours, 25 minutes.[/sub] **_"Satan is not an unattractive person."_-Drain Bead** [sub]Thanks for the ringing endorsement, honey!\*[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2000, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-really-getting-old-when/30229/30 "2000-08-23T03:21:10Z")
Or when you see a cute girl and realise you could only date her _mother._ (I still can’t believe no-one has mentioned the “dry dreams/wet farts” joke…um, never mind) ---
**Author:** ![lolagranola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ea5d25/32.png) [@lolagranola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lolagranola)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2000, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-really-getting-old-when/30229/31 "2000-08-23T04:09:16Z")
Usually for me, it’s the 10th time in any given day that I’ve said to my kids “Because I TOLD you so!”. That’s when I sit down on the couch, and wonder whatever happened to the young, crazy, bar-hopping gal I used to be… ---
**Author:** ![hawthorne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@hawthorne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawthorne)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2000, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-really-getting-old-when/30229/32 "2000-08-23T04:37:58Z")
You are out and it begins to rain. Your first thought: That’ll be good for the garden. ---
**Author:** ![Kipper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Kipper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kipper)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2000, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-really-getting-old-when/30229/33 "2000-08-23T05:25:59Z")
You open a pack of chocolate biscuts, eat a few and put the rest back in the cupboard for later rather than eating untill you feel sick. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2000, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-really-getting-old-when/30229/34 "2000-08-23T05:28:23Z")
You realize all the things mentioned on this thread happened to you ten years ago. ---
**Author:** ![tatertot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c37758/32.png) [@tatertot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tatertot)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2000, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-really-getting-old-when/30229/35 "2000-08-23T08:04:06Z")
You can predict the weather using various parts of your body. My right middle toe is tons more accurate than the TV weathercaster. ---
**Author:** ![Spiny\_Norman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@Spiny\_Norman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiny_Norman)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2000, 10:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-really-getting-old-when/30229/36 "2000-08-23T10:02:50Z")
- soldiers on the train look like high school kids to you - and when you discreetly check the shoulderboards, it’s a captain travelling with two first lieutenants. Sigh. S. Norman ---
**Author:** ![fridgefixer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/87869e/32.png) [@fridgefixer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fridgefixer)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2000, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-really-getting-old-when/30229/37 "2000-08-23T10:23:24Z")
You are at the beach beach and see two chicks in bikinis together and you’re checking out the mother and not the teenage daughter. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2000, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-really-getting-old-when/30229/38 "2000-08-23T12:19:05Z")
when you can only play raquetball on Friday, because you’ll need Saturday and Sunday to recuperate. ---
**Author:** ![Amthystre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Amthystre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amthystre)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2000, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-really-getting-old-when/30229/39 "2000-08-23T16:10:39Z")
New band names like Limp Biscut (sp?) sound like a joke and all children between the ages of 14 and about 22ish look the same age, young! ---
**Author:** ![Lnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/fbc32d/32.png) [@Lnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lnix)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2000, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-really-getting-old-when/30229/40 "2000-08-23T16:33:58Z")
Your doctor went to high school with your baby sister. Your favorite baseball players are now coaches (Oh Mike, Mike,honey… the \* ANGELS?? \* [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-really-getting-old-when/30229.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-really-getting-old-when/30229.md?page=3)