# You know you're REALLY mad at your Hubby when ..... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 1, 2006, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-really-mad-at-your-hubby-when/378696 "2006-11-01T05:11:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Triskadecamus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@Triskadecamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triskadecamus)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-really-mad-at-your-hubby-when/378696/61 "2006-11-03T00:21:02Z")
There is a whole lot of difference between giving someone an ugly fork™, and covertly assaulting them to a specifically chosen exposure to both real filth, and symbolic contempt in a way that can only be enjoyed in secret. One is a laughing way to respond to the ordinary friction between adults. You probably have some feeling that he will recognize the ugly fork™, if not this time, then perhaps next. It does no harm to him. The other case is a veiled expression of an absolute contempt. “Eat shit and die.” To anyone who really does this: if you don’t know that you despise your husband, then you will be surprised when he leaves you, probably without a single word of explanation. There are a thousand things you do, not intending to be clever, or covert, that will eventually convince him that you hate him. By then, he will surely hate you as well. Tris ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-really-mad-at-your-hubby-when/378696/62 "2006-11-03T01:48:18Z")
[QUOTE=erie774] \I just had this discussion with my 14 year old son. He really likes our babysitter and one day she was outraged at something he said. Naturally he couldn’t remember what the offending statement was and when he asked her what it was she told him, “Oh you know what it was. I’m not going to repeat it!” His meager apologies were futile and she was getting angrier. Finally I leaned over and whispered in his ear, She accepted his apology and walked away. My son turned to me and asked, “Where the hell did that come from?” I told him, “You don’t think I haven’t learned a few things being married for 17 years? And you know what? It only works once!” I also taught him the six words a man must say to a woman every morning. “You’re right, I’m wrong. I’m sorry.” That way you are covered for one thing. The other 500 things you’ll do wrong throughout the day will have to be handled individually. [/QUOTE] This kind of attitude being endorsed by women and men just pisses me right off. (And for the record, I am a woman.) Women are not always right, they are not the smarter sex, they are not above reproach, they do not make the rules, and they are not the only partner in a marriage with a say in things. I can’t stand the “Idiot Man-Child” stereotype that we have embraced as a society in recent years, and I can’t stand the “Woman is Always Right” stereotype, either. I’m not always right, and I admit it to my husband when I’m wrong. He does the same for me. There are no “winners” in our fights - if we’ve let things get to such a point that we’re actually fighting, we’re both losers. I hope there’s a lot of whooshing in this thread, because otherwise I can see why we have such high divorce statistics. I wouldn’t treat an enemy the way some of you apparently are treating the person you’re supposed to love and respect. ---
**Author:** ![ThreadPirateRoberts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a9a28c/32.png) [@ThreadPirateRoberts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThreadPirateRoberts)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-really-mad-at-your-hubby-when/378696/63 "2006-11-03T03:14:18Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > I can’t stand the “Idiot Man-Child” stereotype that we have embraced as a society in recent years, and I can’t stand the “Woman is Always Right” stereotype, either. I’m not always right, and I admit it to my husband when I’m wrong. Can I get an Amen?!? ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-really-mad-at-your-hubby-when/378696/64 "2006-11-03T13:56:04Z")
[QUOTE=fishbicycle] If you were my wife and I found out you cleaned the toilet with my toothbrush _on purpose_ without telling me, knowing that I would be putting it in my mouth, you’d be my ex-wife so fuckin’ fast, the dizziness would incapacitate you. [/QUOTE] That’s just for starters. For that kind of criminal behavior, I’d also do everything I could to ensure the bitch got some well deserved jail time. ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-really-mad-at-your-hubby-when/378696/65 "2006-11-03T14:15:45Z")
[QUOTE=Batsinma Belfry] \Perferring the salad fork over the too skinny, too long regular fork, is a sign of great intelligence. 😛 In my house, we have the common forks, and the “Mama Forks”. \ [/QUOTE] A salad [fork](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fork) and dessert fork are two different things. The dessert fork is smaller than the salad fork. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![SlowMindThinking](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@SlowMindThinking](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlowMindThinking)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-really-mad-at-your-hubby-when/378696/66 "2006-11-03T16:01:39Z")
[QUOTE=featherlou] … I’m not always right, and I admit it to my husband when I’m wrong. … [/QUOTE] If you ever need a new hubby, give me a call. I love you. ---
**Author:** ![Pocito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f04885/32.png) [@Pocito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pocito)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-really-mad-at-your-hubby-when/378696/67 "2006-11-03T16:44:24Z")
I suppose I wasn’t born with an evil mind, but when I’m at my angriest, I move my husband’s bookmarks farther into the book. Seeing his confusion at the incontinuity of the story always makes me chuckle and forgive. ---
**Author:** ![cmosdes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@cmosdes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmosdes)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-really-mad-at-your-hubby-when/378696/68 "2006-11-03T16:49:04Z")
[QUOTE=featherlou] …and I admit it to my husband when I’m wrong.. [/QUOTE] (…if ever that day should come…) I get your point, featherlou, and I agree with you. Both my wife and I aren’t afraid to stand up for ourselves nor are we afraid to admit guilt. I will also admit to being fairly clueless about how some of my words or actions may have affected my wife. Saying, “You’re right, I’m wrong and I’m sorry” without really knowing what I’m apologizing for is a quick way to avoid hurt feelings (for her) over something small (to me) and lets my wife know that I care more about her feelings than being right. When the choice is to argue about whether I really did someting stupid or whether she is just being sensitive over something relatively inconsequential, I find it far better to just let it go. Then I ask her if anything else is bothering her and if there is, we talk about it. If not, I figure I really did do something stupid and life goes on. ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-really-mad-at-your-hubby-when/378696/69 "2006-11-03T16:52:10Z")
[QUOTE=Exgineer] For that kind of criminal behavior, I’d also do everything I could to ensure the bitch got some well deserved jail time. [/QUOTE] I’m the last person to defend this behavior, but nothing in that poster’s confession specified what she did with the toothbrush after cleaning the toilet — perhaps she threw it away. It might be more accurate to say, “knowing he _might_ use the toothbrush, if she didn’t tell him in time.” ---
**Author:** ![Foxy40](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a9a28c/32.png) [@Foxy40](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foxy40)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-really-mad-at-your-hubby-when/378696/70 "2006-11-03T17:02:19Z")
[QUOTE=TroubleAgain] You know you’re mad at your husband when you don’t put a lovenote in his lunchbox. …you put his favorite t-shirt in the very bottom of his dresser drawer. …you don’t bother telling him you bought his favorite chocolate-chip cookies. [/QUOTE] This thread feels like something out of the 1950s. You make his lunch? You put away his clothes? You do the shopping? Wow. ---
**Author:** ![Carlyjay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Carlyjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carlyjay)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-really-mad-at-your-hubby-when/378696/71 "2006-11-03T17:40:38Z")
To the OP: The beginning of this thread made me laugh. It was lighthearted and cute. Thanks for brightening my day with the now-trademarked UglyFork idea. To everyone else: Yep, dealing out revenge for marital problems is not good. And I agree that both men AND women should chill out, learn to communicate, and learn the value of a sincere “I’m sorry”. Now. Can we continue with telling cute, non-horrible stories of minor marital jabs? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youre-really-mad-at-your-hubby-when/378696.md?page=3)