# You know you've gotten old when... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 6, 2017, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452 "2017-01-06T14:32:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2017, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/61 "2017-01-08T01:58:09Z")
Your childhood is being used for nostalgia value in advertising. ---
**Author:** ![NetTrekker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nettrekker/32/2909_2.png) [@NetTrekker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NetTrekker)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2017, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/62 "2017-01-08T03:03:49Z")
…you don’t recognize any of the Top 40 song artists and they all sound the same anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Julius\_Henry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8797f3/32.png) [@Julius\_Henry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Julius_Henry)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2017, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/63 "2017-01-08T03:40:59Z")
> [@epbrown01](#): > > I was watching a Youtube show yesterday about teens/20-somethings where they tried to name 80s action movies based on the posters. Okay, I get young people not recognizing \*\*Die Hard \*\*or **Lethal Weapon** , but the shocker was when one girl exclaims “That guy used to be governor! Are you saying he used to be an _actor_!?” You realize there are 2 people that sentence describes, right? Or is this another example for some of us? ---
**Author:** ![E-DUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/e-dub/32/403_2.png) [@E-DUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-DUB)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2017, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/64 "2017-01-08T03:57:27Z")
When Playboy Playmates are younger than your kids. ---
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2017, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/65 "2017-01-08T17:57:53Z")
> [@Julius\_Henry](#): > > You realize there are 2 people that sentence describes, right? Or is this another example for some of us? It describes one person, who was in an 80s action movie and also was governor of California. I didn’t name the movie because it’s that _ **obvious** _. Hint: Ronald Reagan wasn’t in any 80s action movies (though back then, kids were likely as surprised to learn he was an actor). ---
**Author:** ![Majestic\_Lee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Majestic\_Lee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Majestic_Lee)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2017, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/66 "2017-01-08T22:46:59Z")
> [@sevenwood](#): > > You know you’re getting old when the Sweet Young Things hold the door open for _ **you** _. > > …and you’re grateful. I get pissed off if they don’t (I’m 57) - isn’t that just good manners? ---
**Author:** ![Marion\_Wormer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d07c76/32.png) [@Marion\_Wormer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marion_Wormer)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2017, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/67 "2017-01-08T23:36:06Z")
I went to an orthopedic surgeon to complain about the pain in my lower back when I do layback spins (figure skating) . I have compression fractures in L1-4 and that was affecting my backbend. I was hoping for a PT referral. He looked at my records and said, “You’re what? 57? Give it up.” He is now my EX-orthopedic surgeon. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2017, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/68 "2017-01-09T00:22:16Z")
> [@Marion\_Wormer](#): > > He looked at my records and said, “You’re what? 57? Give it up.” > He is now my EX-orthopedic surgeon. WTG, **Marion**!! ---
**Author:** ![Fotheringay-Phipps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d9b06d/32.png) [@Fotheringay-Phipps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fotheringay-Phipps)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2017, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/69 "2017-01-09T02:11:19Z")
Courtesy of Bill Cosby: You know you’re old when you bend down to tie your shoelaces and find yourself thinking: “now what else can I take care of while I’m down here?” ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2017, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/70 "2017-01-09T14:16:09Z")
When you go to the E/R and the doctor takes your vitals and asks you what meds you are on. When you say “none,” he responds “A person your age can’t have these readings without taking medication.” This actually happened to me. ---
**Author:** ![Shinna\_Minna\_Ma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f08c70/32.png) [@Shinna\_Minna\_Ma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shinna_Minna_Ma)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2017, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/71 "2017-01-09T17:05:38Z")
You know you’re old when the temperature is in the 80s and you still wear a sweater. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2017, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/72 "2017-01-09T17:40:06Z")
> [@E-DUB](#): > > When Playboy Playmates are younger than your kids. This one actually brought me back to a summer job while in college - I assume 1979. Working at WF Hall Printing in Chicago, stacking Monkey Ward catalogs and Playboys. Miss November - Lisa Welch (how can I STILL remember her name?!) was the first playmate younger than me! The thing that makes me feel old is when you measure so many things by increasingly large numbers of decades. Like 3 decades since college, or recently getting my 30-year pin from my current employer. But screw it - my wife and I just booked reservations to ski Beaver Creek in March. Reconstructed ankle (me) and Cspine fusion (her) be damned! ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2017, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/73 "2017-01-09T22:37:32Z")
I recently slammed into a sign of aging face-first, and despite my resistance to the idea, I’ve realized that…I’m just gonna have to cave and get some damn reading glasses. I can’t go on taking pictures of small text with my phone and zooming in forever. Sigh. ---
**Author:** ![Ignatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3be4f8/32.png) [@Ignatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ignatz)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2017, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/74 "2017-01-10T02:54:36Z")
Subject: Hollywood Squares THOSE OF US WHO REMEMBER … Hollywood Squares: These great questions and answers are from the days when ’ Hollywood Squares’ game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they became later. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course. Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat? A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness! (The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!) Q. Do female frogs croak? A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough. Q. If you’re going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it. Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years. A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes. Q. You’ve been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman? A. Don Knotts: That’s what’s been keeping me awake. Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he’s married? A. Rose Marie: No wait until morning. Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency… Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say ‘I Love You’? A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty… Q. What are ‘Do It,’ ‘I Can Help,’ and ‘I Can’t Get Enough’? A. George Gobel: I don’t know, but it’s coming from the next apartment. Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking? A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I’ll give you a gesture you’ll never forget. Q. Paul, why do Hell’s Angels wear leather? A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily. Q. Charley, you’ve just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year? A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I’m too busy growing strawberries. Q. In bowling, what’s a perfect score? A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy. Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other? A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures. Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet? A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I’m always safe in the bedroom. Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls? A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out. Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do? A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark? Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to? A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark. Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people? A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army. Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it? A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn’t neglected. Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do? A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth. Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant? A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant? Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex? A. Charley Weaver: I’ll lend him the car, the rest is up to him Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they? A. Charley Weaver: His feet. Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed? A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh WE DON’T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE WE GROW OLD; WE GROW OLD BECAUSE WE STOP LAUGHING! ---
**Author:** ![Club\_33](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@Club\_33](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Club_33)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2017, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/75 "2017-01-10T03:22:59Z")
Today, I learned that I’m now eligible, age-wise, to volunteer for the Sheriff’s Community Patrol. That one stung more than I expected. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2017, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/76 "2017-01-10T21:13:02Z")
Ignatz, I remember one question to Paul Lynde was “There’s expected to be 7 billion of them by the year 2011. 7 billion of what?” Lynde responded “Osmond brothers.” You know you’re old when you get the joke. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/77 "2017-01-11T05:35:20Z")
**Ignatz:** Thanks so much for those. I’m not too old to laugh. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/78 "2017-01-11T05:47:27Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Movies and music is where I feel it, and usually when I compare them to the things I thought were old when I was enjoying them. This is what does it for me. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/79 "2017-01-11T05:55:09Z")
> [@Asimovian](#): > > …you realize you’ve spent more than a quarter of your life on the Dope. You realize you’ve spent more than _half_ of your life on the Dope. ---
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/80 "2017-01-11T06:27:03Z")
> [@movingfinger](#): > > From time to time I recall a conversation I had with my father when I was a kid. He was talking about a restaurant that was too expensive for the likes of us. “They charge a dollar for a hamburger there.” > > I was stunned. NOBODY would pay a dollar for a hamburger. Most burgers then (early fifties) were in the 35 cent range. when I was about 4 or 5 they came out with the "king size "bag of m&ms which I seen for the and I HAD to have then grandma said no she wasn’t paying that much for a bag of candy … we argued and I went home with out any m&ms At home I threw such a tantrum (which I was told a very rare occasion) that grandma gave in and went and bought me said king size bag of mms How much was the bag ? 50 cents …that same size bag is 1.25 or more now [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452.md?page=5)