# You know you've gotten old when... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 6, 2017, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452 "2017-01-06T14:32:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/81 "2017-01-11T06:35:00Z")
it was supposed to read I had seen for the first time ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/82 "2017-01-11T07:03:51Z")
Back when I was a whippersnapper, maybe 35 or so, my boss (mid-50s, about my age now) said that you know you are getting old when you prefer to sit on the other side of the train (with facing seats) from an attractive young woman rather than next to her. At the time, I only theoretically got it . . . ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/83 "2017-01-11T12:04:35Z")
You have arthritis serious enough to warrant a joint replacement. ---
**Author:** ![Pabitel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bbce88/32.png) [@Pabitel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pabitel)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/84 "2017-01-11T17:20:34Z")
You stop dreading being old enough to retire and start counting the months. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/85 "2017-01-12T18:25:45Z")
Had to post more Hollywood Squares quotes. Q: According to Movie Life magazine, Ann-Margaret would like to start having babies soon, but her husband wants her to wait awhile. Why? A: Paul Lynde: He’s out of town Q: Dennis Weaver, Debbie Reynolds, and Shelley Winters star in the movie, ‘What’s The Matter With Helen?’ Who plays Helen? A: Charley Weaver: Dennis Weaver-that’s why they asked the question Q: When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex? A: Charley Weaver: I’ll lend him the car. The rest is up to him Q: Robert Young recently stated, ‘I never, never give …’ something to his fans who ask for it. What? A: Paul Lynde: A hysterectomy Q: Before a cow will give you any milk, she has to have something very important. What? A: Paul Lynde: An engagement ring Q: According to Robert Mitchum, one thing has ruined more actors than drinking. What? A: Charley Weaver: Not drinking Q: When the Lone Ranger finished with a case, he left something behind. What? A: Paul Lynde: A masked baby Q: True or false: Some African Watusi tribesmen greet guests by running toward them at full speed, then high-jumping over them A: Charley Weaver: This is sometimes terribly embarrassing to tall guests Q: You’re on your first visit to Japan, and you head right for the Kabuki. Why? A: Paul Lynde: It was a long plane ride Q: Is there any such thing as an F cup in bra sizes? A: Paul Lynde: Yes, it sleeps four Q: True or false: Many people sleep better in their street clothes than they do in their pajamas? A: Paul Lynde: Yes. We call them winos Q: According to the World Book, is it okay to freeze your persimmons? A: Paul Lynde: No. You should dress warmly Q: According to psychologists, when a child begins to get curious about sex, what is the one question he will most ask his mommy and daddy? A: Paul Lynde: Where can I get some? Q: Your baby has a certain object which he loves to cling to. Should you try to break him of his habit? A: Joan Rivers: Yes. It’s daddy’s turn ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/86 "2017-01-12T22:49:04Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > You realize you’ve spent more than _half_ of your life on the Dope. No, that actually means you’re still relatively young. ---
**Author:** ![campp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@campp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/campp)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/87 "2017-01-12T23:23:39Z")
When you tell your neurologist that you walk like Walter Brennan. Then she says, “Who?” ---
**Author:** ![jasg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f0a364/32.png) [@jasg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jasg)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/88 "2017-01-12T23:52:08Z")
> [@Fotheringay-Phipps](#): > > Courtesy of Bill Cosby: > > You know you’re old when you bend down to tie your shoelaces and find yourself thinking: “now what else can I take care of while I’m down here?” Please don’t steal that line from [George Burns](http://www.quotationspage.com/quote/37773.html) - certainly not to give Crosby the credit! ---
**Author:** ![Saltire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saltire/32/553_2.png) [@Saltire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saltire)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/89 "2017-01-12T23:56:50Z")
> [@epbrown01](#): > > It describes one person, who was in an 80s action movie and also was governor of California. I didn’t name the movie because it’s that _ **obvious** _. Hint: Ronald Reagan wasn’t in any 80s action movies (though back then, kids were likely as surprised to learn he was an actor). California wasn’t required. Jesse Ventura was in 80s action movies before being governor of Minnesota. In fact, he was in Predator and The Running Man with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Of course, even in St. Paul, I bet a lot of kids wouldn’t know he’d been governor. ---
**Author:** ![Fotheringay-Phipps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d9b06d/32.png) [@Fotheringay-Phipps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fotheringay-Phipps)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/90 "2017-01-12T23:57:01Z")
> [@jasg](#): > > Please don’t steal that line from [George Burns](http://www.quotationspage.com/quote/37773.html) - certainly not to give Crosby the credit! You’re right. I remembered it from Cosby, but on looking around I see it’s attributed to Burns in many cites. My apologies. ---
**Author:** ![CaptMurdock](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/captmurdock/32/11736_2.png) [@CaptMurdock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaptMurdock)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/91 "2017-01-13T00:20:55Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Movies and music is where I feel it, and usually when I compare them to the things I thought were old when I was enjoying them. > > Like when I realize that Nirvana is as old to today’s high schoolers as The Monkees were to me. > > Or that Ferris Bueller is as old now as The Ten Commandments was when Ferris Bueller came out. I saw _Ferris Bueller_ in the theater. I got the DVD as a stocking stuffer this Christmas because it was in the cheap bin at Walmart. :eek: As for music…when Tears for Fears “Everybody Wants to Rule The World” is on the easy-listening station…:smack: ---
**Author:** ![Jennshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/92 "2017-01-13T00:25:45Z")
Of late I find myself calling service workers endearments like “hon” and “sweetie” - I’m turning into Flo at Mel’s Diner. For you yungins, this was a sitcom . . . oh, never mind. ---
**Author:** ![Mist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Mist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mist)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/93 "2017-01-13T04:40:17Z")
> [@TroutMan](#): > > …you read this thread so you can chuckle at the old farts on the Dope, then realize it all applies to you too. ☹ Guilty as charged! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![orderfire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/orderfire/32/10908_2.png) [@orderfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/orderfire)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/94 "2017-01-13T14:24:39Z")
> [@74westy](#): > > you drop a suppository and say, “5 second rule!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/95 "2017-01-13T14:39:25Z")
When someone points out that you’re almost as old as all the women on The Golden Girls! ---
**Author:** ![DrCube](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a3d4f5/32.png) [@DrCube](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrCube)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/96 "2017-01-13T17:39:20Z")
When “Mama” from Mama’s Family doesn’t need makeup or a costume anymore. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/97 "2017-01-13T21:09:16Z")
Another “century” milestone is approaching. I remember attending one set of grandparents 50th wedding anniversary party. It won’t be much longer till more time has passed since the party than before. I gotta stop thinking in terms of "It’s been a century since … " ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/98 "2017-01-13T21:09:24Z")
When grocery stores start playing your favorite hits as Muzak. Also any of these [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/Category:Comics\_to\_make\_one\_feel\_old](http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/Category:Comics_to_make_one_feel_old) ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/99 "2017-01-13T22:22:21Z")
when you’re reading a thread about an [asian foot massage](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=816180) and thinking, damn, I really could use a foot massage myself. and you actually mean the foot massage. ---
**Author:** ![Whatever4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@Whatever4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whatever4)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2017, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452/100 "2017-01-14T00:40:32Z")
when you reach for a favorite book and realize that it was given to you 55 years ago when you go to buy a new car and the salesperson loses it because you want a stick shift when you look at your hands and wish that you still had granny’s lace mitts to wear [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-know-youve-gotten-old-when/776452.md?page=6)