# You learn something new everyday **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 5, 2005, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-learn-something-new-everyday/315719 "2005-08-05T15:08:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-learn-something-new-everyday/315719/1 "2005-08-05T15:08:19Z")
What did I learn today? I learned that while slathering your tootsies with lotion before going to bed at night makes for lovely moisturized feet in the morning, it’s _NOT_ a good idea to walk across wood floors still partially asleep on said delightfully softened feet. WHUMP. BAM. OUCH! :eek: I think I bruised my tailbone. Again. What have you learned this morning? ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-learn-something-new-everyday/315719/2 "2005-08-05T15:14:59Z")
The misfortune of others can provide endless amusement 😃 ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-learn-something-new-everyday/315719/3 "2005-08-05T15:19:12Z")
Several years ago I had to get up in the middle of the night to use the toilet. I then went back into my bedroom, and flopped myself down on the bed. Hard. Halfway through mid-flop I decided to review my life events of that evening. Ate dinner. Watched TV. Called a friend. Rearranged my bedroom. Read a book. Watched some more TV. Rearranged my bedroom, Gracie? Oh yeah, that was when I moved my bed to a different part of the room. I realized, in horror, that I had flung my full body weight, at full velocity, directly onto the hardwood floor. It was a good 10 minutes before I could get up, I was so stunned. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-learn-something-new-everyday/315719/4 "2005-08-05T15:27:34Z")
Miss takes & Tdn, good stories, nicely told, made me laugh right out loud. You have no idea how much I needed that just now, thanks a heap. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-learn-something-new-everyday/315719/5 "2005-08-05T15:29:13Z")
> [@MissTake](#): > > What did I learn today? > > I learned that while slathering your tootsies with lotion before going to bed at night makes for lovely moisturized feet in the morning, it’s _NOT_ a good idea to walk across wood floors still partially asleep on said delightfully softened feet. > > WHUMP. BAM. OUCH! :eek: > > I think I bruised my tailbone. Again. > > What have you learned this morning? But at least you still have nice soft feet? ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-learn-something-new-everyday/315719/6 "2005-08-05T15:35:11Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Halfway through mid-flop … Would that be a quarter flop? Or a quarter flopper with cheese? 😃 > [@MissTake](#): > > What have you learned this morning? I learned that [Bob the Angry Flower](http://www.angryflower.com) is a hilariously funny webcomic. Also, I learned how an [“invisibility cloak”](http://science.howstuffworks.com/invisibility-cloak.htm) works. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-learn-something-new-everyday/315719/7 "2005-08-05T15:40:02Z")
> [@Spatial Rift 47](#): > > Would that be a quarter flop? Or a quarter flopper with cheese? In fact, I would estimate that I was a good 78.3% through the flop when it fully dawned on me what I had done. ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-learn-something-new-everyday/315719/8 "2005-08-05T16:02:39Z")
> [@MissTake](#): > > What did I learn today? > > I learned that while slathering your tootsies with lotion before going to bed at night makes for lovely moisturized feet in the morning, it’s _NOT_ a good idea to walk across wood floors still partially asleep on said delightfully softened feet. Missy, weren’t you the one instructing ME how to properly apply lotion last night?? I didn’t get any on my feet… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-learn-something-new-everyday/315719/9 "2005-08-05T16:09:54Z")
Whenever I have moved furniture around I find that my toes (delighfully softened as they may be) suddenly become magnets for bed casters, corners of dressers, and rug edges. Suffice it to say I haven’t moved furniture in a while. And, **mr bus guy** - my feet are nice and soft. However, I can only go by how they feel on the carpet _because I can’t bend to look at them_. I wonder what the cats thought of my interesting dance moves. Whenever they attempt to find purchase while tearing around the house and subsequently go careening across the room I find myself giggling. Good thing cats don’t laugh. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-learn-something-new-everyday/315719/10 "2005-08-05T16:18:44Z")
A feather pillow has a sufficient enough amount of down in it to completely inundate a very large bedroom. The easiest way to do this is to leave said pillow alone with an over energetic puppy (this happened yesterday, what a mess). ---
**Author:** ![Kimhotep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/34f0e0/32.png) [@Kimhotep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimhotep)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-learn-something-new-everyday/315719/11 "2005-08-05T18:59:07Z")
What you said: > [@MissTake](#): > > What did I learn today? > > I learned that while slathering your tootsies with lotion before going to bed at night makes for lovely moisturized feet in the morning… What I read: > [@MissTake](#): > > What did I learn today? > > I learned that while slathering your **tortoises** with lotion before going to bed at night makes for lovely moisturized feet in the morning… …I learned that I need to read more carefully. ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-learn-something-new-everyday/315719/12 "2005-08-05T19:41:53Z")
Aw man, and I had two dozen bales of tortoises and an industrial-sized vat of lotion all ready to go. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-learn-something-new-everyday/315719/13 "2005-08-05T19:46:42Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Several years ago I had to get up in the middle of the night to use the toilet. I then went back into my bedroom, and flopped myself down on the bed. Hard. > > Halfway through mid-flop I decided to review my life events of that evening. Ate dinner. Watched TV. Called a friend. Rearranged my bedroom. Read a book. Watched some more TV. > > Rearranged my bedroom, Gracie? Oh yeah, that was when I moved my bed to a different part of the room. I realized, in horror, that I had flung my full body weight, at full velocity, directly onto the hardwood floor. It was a good 10 minutes before I could get up, I was so stunned. Holy crap. I laughed out loud too. Oh, for the times you wish you had a camera! Well not you, maybe, but me. ---
**Author:** ![susan\_foster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@susan\_foster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan_foster)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-learn-something-new-everyday/315719/14 "2005-08-05T19:52:06Z")
I learned you can balance a pancake on a bunny’s head. It’s unfortunate that I wasted today’s life lesson on that - I could have learned something to do with work, I am sure, but that bunny just took it all. Susan ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-learn-something-new-everyday/315719/15 "2005-08-05T19:55:09Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > In fact, I would estimate that I was a good 78.3% through the flop when it fully dawned on me what I had done. I imagine it dawned on you right at the moment when you _should_ have hit the bed. Because that’s when it dawned on _me_ when I did something very similar. Today I learned that my cats can most definitely recognize a suitcase, and that I will have a small amount of hell to pay, come Sunday night. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-learn-something-new-everyday/315719/16 "2005-08-05T19:55:40Z")
A former co-worker of mine told me a little story once. Her boyfriend decided he needed one of those mats you put under your computer chair so you can roll it around on the rug; big, plastic, flat on one side, zillions of 1/4" long plastic spikes on the other. He bought it on the way home from work, got home after his girlfriend had gone to bed, and dumped the mat on the living room floor on his way to bed. Deal with it in the morning, he figured. His girlfriend got up in the middle of the night, decided to go in and watch some TV, walked barefoot, lights out, into the living room… halfway across the room she began to get some very earnest messages from the other end of the body that Something was Very Wrong. She was in so much pain she couldn’t think; she just screamed… her boyfriend had an experience much like the OP’s, in that during the split second between her scream and when his feet hit the floor at a dead run he knew that he was in very deep doo-doo… when he got to the living room, he yelled at her to fall down, hoping she’d fall on carpet, not plastic spikes… alas, the doo-doo just kept getting deeper…