# You love Jesus!? NO TIP FOR YOU! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 30, 2004, 9:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-love-jesus-no-tip-for-you/262203 "2004-08-30T09:54:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-love-jesus-no-tip-for-you/262203/61 "2004-08-31T13:41:34Z")
> [@Brandus](#): > > That’s really insightful. I’ve been as hostile to religion as the OP’s friend was before, and it was usually after I heard some insane comment from Jerry Falwell or something, or reading some hate-filled diatribe laced with biblical verses online. Later, when you hear someone casually invoke God in your vocabulary like the waitress did, you assume that they **also** believe fags should burn in hell etc. And if you get mugged by someone of another race, do you assume all people of that race are muggers? I think that’s called bigotry. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-love-jesus-no-tip-for-you/262203/62 "2004-08-31T13:50:19Z")
“Know _Jesus_… No _Tip!_ No _Jesus_… know _Tip!_” [sub]Sorry if someone already posted that. I haven’t read the thread.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-love-jesus-no-tip-for-you/262203/63 "2004-08-31T14:53:24Z")
> [@Abbie Carmichael](#): > > “God bless you! Or not. God bless you if you’re a Christian, “God” meaning Jesus the Son, who of course is one with the Father and the Holy Spirit. If you’re Jewish, we meant God, as there is only one God and not in trinitarian form. If you’re Muslim please understand that we think Allah is just great and we read the Koran daily. If you’re agnostic be blessed in the name of whatever diety you suspect MIGHT exist. If you’re atheist, forget the blessing and just have a nice day, unless you WANT God to bless you just in case He’s out there, in which case you’re not really an atheist but we won’t tell if you won’t. The customer will note that this blessing is nonreturnable and no exchanges or substitutions will be made on this visit or any future visits. This blessing is not intended to persuade, provoke or offend the customer into converting to a religion, or switching from their current faith of choice.” This is…_sniff_…so beautiful… ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-love-jesus-no-tip-for-you/262203/64 "2004-08-31T15:07:22Z")
> [@even sven](#): > > Religion is about you and your God, not about the guy you served ham’n’eggs to this morning. I’m sick of being told how great JC is. I’m tired of it being assumed that I worship the God of Abraham. I just don’t want to hear about it, especially when I just finished breakfast. Religion is not some happy neutral subject that we all (except for a frew freaks) agree on. It’s a sensitive subject best discussed among close friends and family, not randomly thrust on strangers. I assume then that you feel the same way about ALL kinds of potentially “sensitive subject” shirts or buttons? Including Anti Bush shirts? Planned Parenthood shirts? etc… ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-love-jesus-no-tip-for-you/262203/65 "2004-08-31T15:14:47Z")
> [@beagledave](#): > > I assume then that you feel the same way about ALL kinds of potentially “sensitive subject” shirts or buttons? > > Including Anti Bush shirts? > Planned Parenthood shirts? > > etc… Yeah, if someone had “Bush is a Liar” personal checks or wrote “Kill a fetus for freedom” on the back of my check, I’d be somewhat annoyed after I stopped laughing. However, these subjects are a matter of public policy, and are better suited to the public forum. ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-love-jesus-no-tip-for-you/262203/66 "2004-08-31T15:23:01Z")
> [@even sven](#): > > Yeah, if someone had “Bush is a Liar” personal checks or wrote “Kill a fetus for freedom” on the back of my check, I’d be somewhat annoyed after I stopped laughing. > > However, these subjects are a matter of public policy, and are better suited to the public forum. Nice try…but that ain’t what you were saying earlier. Earlier you were referencing shirts and bumperstickers about religion as being inapprorpriate because > [@](#): > > Religion is not some happy neutral subject that we all (except for a frew freaks) agree on. It’s a sensitive subject best discussed among close friends and family, not randomly thrust on strangers. Your threshold is “sensitive subject” that is NOT “some happy neutral subject that we all agree on”. Surely abortion, feminism, politics …all fit that threshold? Surely we don’t all agree on those topics…and it might be sensitive for many? Ergo folks shouldn’t be “thrusting” those things out in public (since you referenced other situations in your post, not just with your meal ticket)? ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-love-jesus-no-tip-for-you/262203/67 "2004-08-31T15:48:18Z")
> [@Necro Romancer](#): > > Theist checking in. It’s not a matter of language or religion, period. It’s a matter of someone wishing me well, being friendly. I don’t have to agree with someone’s religion to understand good intent. 'Zactly. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-love-jesus-no-tip-for-you/262203/68 "2004-08-31T15:58:34Z")
> [@beagledave](#): > > Nice try…but that ain’t what you were saying earlier. > Earlier you were referencing shirts and bumperstickers about religion as being inapprorpriate because > > Your threshold is “sensitive subject” that is NOT “some happy neutral subject that we all agree on”. > > Surely abortion, feminism, politics …all fit that threshold? Surely we don’t all agree on those topics…and it might be sensitive for many? > > Ergo folks shouldn’t be “thrusting” those things out in public (since you referenced other situations in your post, not just with your meal ticket)? Jesus, Dave, how thick are you? It’s not offensive if it’s a \liberal\ idea. Don’t you know anything? ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-love-jesus-no-tip-for-you/262203/69 "2004-08-31T16:46:57Z")
> [@Weirddave](#): > > If you get pissed off when somebody (presuming someone who doesn’t know your orientation) innocently wishes that you’ll “find a nice girl”, focusing on making that offensive because it doesn’t recognize your homosexuality (which the person didn’t even know) rather than taking it in the spirit it was offered, than you have anger issues. I hate to continue the hijack, but this is wrong-headed. A key message of the Queer liberation movement from day one has been to convince people _not to assume that anyone is straight._ True, the person doesn’t know you’re gay; but they don’t know that you’re straight, either. I can’t hear that without realizing that I’m not just invisible, but actually the _opposite_ of what I am, when I’m not out to someone. It’s somewhat beyond the “God bless you” thing because it’s more than just a formulaic nicety; it’s a nicety that takes a much closer interest in the person’s life. I would be much more taken aback to be told that they hope I meet a nice girl than to be told “God bless you” (as a Pagan). After all, “God bless you” is just a statement about their beliefs; “I hope you marry a nice girl” is a statement about what they believe I ought to be doing with my life. If the person’s saying it out of cluelessness rather than a desire to offend, I’d correct them nicely (whereas I’d let “God bless you” slide). But at this point in the life cycle of the society I’m in, I don’t think there’s an excuse for assuming that everyone is heterosexual and that a fine, strapping lad such as myself wants to meet a nice girl to marry. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-love-jesus-no-tip-for-you/262203/70 "2004-08-31T17:07:33Z")
Another annoying trend Have a bless-ed day As in, goodbye, Have a blessed day; or How are you today? Blessed, and You? Yesterday following the unexpected death of a very nice gentleman, one of the visitors said to his wife and family “Now he is truly blessed”. And this is while standing beside the corpse. The family was stunned and I was speechless. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-love-jesus-no-tip-for-you/262203/71 "2004-08-31T17:42:56Z")
> [@beagledave](#): > > Nice try…but that ain’t what you were saying earlier. > Earlier you were referencing shirts and bumperstickers about religion as being inapprorpriate because… I also said that religion is between a person and their God. Now, ideally, I’d like to think abortion and gay marriage stay between a person and their God, but it _is_ currently a matter of public debate right now, and thus it is not exactly analogous to religion. What I was trying to express is that many religious people believe that there really are no non-religious people. They believe that we are people that have heard God’s call but refused to answer it, or that we are secretly religious underneath, or that we will join the faith as soon as our eyes are opened. This isn’t true. America is not a giant country of Christians and people-who-arn’t-quite-Christians-yet. Atheists are out there, they do have strong and reasoned beliefs, and you can’t just merrily discount them. And I don’t appreciate people acting differently. I also stated that seeing any viewpoint thursted on strangers in a facile and mindless way bugs me. I cringe when I see “Impeach Bush” bumper stickers because I feel that they detract from the meaningful critism these people could be making. And I’d certainly never dream of ranting about my political views to a stranger unless they’ve shown some sign that they would like to discuss politics. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-love-jesus-no-tip-for-you/262203/72 "2004-08-31T19:52:56Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > I hate to continue the hijack, but this is wrong-headed. A key message of the Queer liberation movement from day one has been to convince people _not to assume that anyone is straight._ True, the person doesn’t know you’re gay; but they don’t know that you’re straight, either. I can’t hear that without realizing that I’m not just invisible, but actually the _opposite_ of what I am, when I’m not out to someone. It’s somewhat beyond the “God bless you” thing because it’s more than just a formulaic nicety; it’s a nicety that takes a much closer interest in the person’s life. I disagree. Homosexuality is completely normal, it is not, however, the norm. (if you understand the destinction I am making) Homosexuality is the orientation of about 10% of the population (tops-show me figures if I’m wrong), and to demand that everyone be so sensitive to that fact that every little thing, even an innocent expression of best wishes that is apropriate for 90% of the population, be couched in terms that couldn’t possibly fail to recognize that fact is rediculous. > [@matt\_mcl](#): > > “I hope you marry a nice girl” is a statement about what they believe I ought to be doing with my life. Don’t be silly(Unless they know you, and think that somehow a “nice girl” would “cure” you. In that case, give it to them with both barrels). It’s a fairly common good luck wish that is apropriate for 9 out of 10 guys that you’ll meet. Just because you happen to be the 10th guy doesn’t change the spirit in which it was offered. What’s wrong with just smiling and saying “Thanks” or “Thanks, but in my case the nice girl is a guy” , with the emphesis on the “Thanks” part and not on the correction? Sometimes I think people look too hard for reasons to be offended and manufacture them when they don’t exist. > [@matt\_mcl](#): > > If the person’s saying it out of cluelessness rather than a desire to offend, I’d correct them nicely (whereas I’d let “God bless you” slide). But at this point in the life cycle of the society I’m in, I don’t think there’s an excuse for assuming that everyone is heterosexual and that a fine, strapping lad such as myself wants to meet a nice girl to marry. Again, I get your point, but 90% is a pretty large majority of the population. Assumption it is, yes, but it’s not like it’s an off the wall assumption. ---
**Author:** ![spectrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc29f/32.png) [@spectrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spectrum)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-love-jesus-no-tip-for-you/262203/73 "2004-08-31T23:01:56Z")
> [@MidnightRadio](#): > > As long as she was a competent server, I’d tip her. Although that’s not entirely analogous because “_Allah al Akbar, As sallam u alaikum_” isn’t a common courteous expression in this country. Someone on another message board where I discussed this issue wondered how I’d feel if she’d written, “Satan bless you,” on the ticket. Personally, I’d still give a tip as long as the service was good, but again, that’s not really analogous because a phrase like “Satan bless you” is clearly intended to shock and/or offend. How about “Goddess bless you?” Most Wiccans refer to the Goddess, in my experience, as casually as Christians reference the God Yahweh. ---
**Author:** ![spectrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc29f/32.png) [@spectrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spectrum)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-love-jesus-no-tip-for-you/262203/74 "2004-08-31T23:04:46Z")
> [@Mockingbird](#): > > That is _not_ a nice wish.[/qb] It is when the person saying it doesn’t know you’re gay, just as the waitress didn’t know that the lousy friend was an atheist. ---
**Author:** ![sugaree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@sugaree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sugaree)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-love-jesus-no-tip-for-you/262203/75 "2004-08-31T23:15:06Z")
Wouldn’t anyone else have discreetly taken the waitress aside and, as tackfully as possible, clued her in that some people might find it offensive instead of personalized? Just me? Yeah, I’m such a meddler. ---
**Author:** ![sugaree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@sugaree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sugaree)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-love-jesus-no-tip-for-you/262203/76 "2004-08-31T23:18:13Z")
Heh. Tactfully. “Tackfully.” I know which one I aim for, and which one I usually acheive. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2004, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-love-jesus-no-tip-for-you/262203/77 "2004-09-01T01:12:53Z")
(a) The friend was an example of the behavior pattern that has been earlier referenced in this board as “hand-stabber”. (b) Being exposed to something is not the same thing as having it thrust in your face or shoved down your throat. There is no such right to never see or hear anything you don’t like, and there is no such thing as a duty to closet your beliefs. (c) And, Jesus Christ ( 😉 ), come on, “God Bless You” is a mild expression of well-wishing based on common cultural referents. I seriously doubt that “God Bless You” has the potential to alienate enough customers for anyone to care. (e) On the developing side-topic: On the one hand, it’s quixotic to expect the society to reconfigure itself to not presume heterosexuality, when it is pretty much fixed af 90%+ probability. _However,_ “hope you find a nice girl” is _different_ from “God Bless You” – it is not a generic well-wish, but an affirmation of a desired outcome or course of action for his life. It’s more like saying “one of these Sundays at Church you will be filled with the Holy Spirit and be Saved”. Heck, even in the case of a heterosexual, someone who stopped to think it out could figure, “hey, what am I saying, maybe he is happy as a footloose single guy; or maybe I’ll be a downer by calling attention to his being still single”. ---
**Author:** ![spickspack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/73ab20/32.png) [@spickspack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spickspack)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2004, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-love-jesus-no-tip-for-you/262203/78 "2004-09-01T03:13:45Z")
> [@devilsknew](#): > > Hypothetical Question: > Juxtaposition. > > What if she had written _Allah al Akbar, As sallam u alaikum_? > For those here who find no problem with “God Bless You”. > Same sentiment. > different language. > Would you tip her, or would you be offended and withold the tip? Just so y’all know: “Allah al Akbar” means “God is great” but “sallam u alaikum” simply means “greetings to the lot of you / to the group”. The former is a common Muslim incantation while the latter simply happens to be a common greeting in Arabic. ---
**Author:** ![x-ray\_vision](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/x-ray_vision/32/351_2.png) [@x-ray\_vision](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/x-ray_vision)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2004, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-love-jesus-no-tip-for-you/262203/79 "2004-09-01T03:30:26Z")
As sala’amu alaikum means “peace be upon you” and the expected reply is “walaikum as sala’am” (and unto you also, peace). ---
**Author:** ![spickspack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/73ab20/32.png) [@spickspack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spickspack)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2004, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-love-jesus-no-tip-for-you/262203/80 "2004-09-01T03:40:02Z")
> [@x-ray vision](#): > > As sala’amu alaikum means “peace be upon you” and the expected reply is “walaikum as sala’am” (and unto you also, peace). Sala’am is one of those loaded words. It can have a number of connotations including peace, serenity, wisdom, etc., but most often, it’s simply used as a greeting. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-love-jesus-no-tip-for-you/262203.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-love-jesus-no-tip-for-you/262203.md?page=5)