# "You Made My Ostrich Impotent!" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 6, 2007, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-made-my-ostrich-impotent/394806 "2007-03-06T14:35:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Chanteuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@Chanteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chanteuse)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2007, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-made-my-ostrich-impotent/394806/1 "2007-03-06T14:35:52Z")
OK, [this](http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070305/ap_on_fe_st/impotent_ostrich;_ylt=AgOhjYKaY5dk5OickPjb548uQE4F) is just too strange and funny! Yeah, I know, it’s money lost and all, but you just gotta wonder…is he suing because of the money, or on behalf of the females for the six month loss of consortium? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2007, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-made-my-ostrich-impotent/394806/2 "2007-03-06T14:54:29Z")
Wasn’t there a similar story a year or two ago about a hot-air ballon race (or something) being sued because they fly over some farm and spooked the ostriches or llamas and cause a stampede and a few deaths? In the linked case, it sounds like the male ostrich was just being ornery for a few months…not getting enough respect from the girls, so he plays up his “disability” for a few months to get some sympathy points!!! ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2007, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-made-my-ostrich-impotent/394806/3 "2007-03-06T17:31:33Z")
Best thread title I’ve seen in weeks, by the way. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2007, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-made-my-ostrich-impotent/394806/4 "2007-03-06T17:33:13Z")
It sounds like it should be an episode of a talk show. “On the next _Jerry Springer_- ‘You Made My Ostrich Impotent!’” ---
**Author:** ![phall0106](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phall0106/32/5934_2.png) [@phall0106](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phall0106)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2007, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-made-my-ostrich-impotent/394806/5 "2007-03-06T17:59:25Z")
I’m not an Ostrich Expert TM or anything, but it seems to me that if male ostrichs were that skittish, then the ostrich would have become extinct long ago. Lion scared the ostrich by the river? Impotent. Thunderstorm? Impotent. Herd of some four legged creature tramples by? Impotent. Of course, it would suck to be a female ostrich… ---
**Author:** ![Encinitas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Encinitas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Encinitas)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2007, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-made-my-ostrich-impotent/394806/6 "2007-03-06T18:18:02Z")
Is that what the kids are calling it these days? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2007, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-made-my-ostrich-impotent/394806/7 "2007-03-06T18:55:44Z")
[QUOTE=lisacurl] Best thread title I’ve seen in weeks, by the way. [/QUOTE] Yeah, but lousy band name. ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2007, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-made-my-ostrich-impotent/394806/8 "2007-03-06T19:03:43Z")
I keep reading the thread title as “Omnipotent”. All-Knowing Ostrich would be a good band name, though. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2007, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-made-my-ostrich-impotent/394806/9 "2007-03-06T21:32:53Z")
In all fairness, though, I was involved tangentially in a similarly goofball situation. Some people south of Fort Drum, NY, had a fur farm, and the Army helicopters would overfly the farm and panic the animals, which were in cages of course. While I don’t condone fur farms either, I can see the distinction between having a fur farm with animals in cages, and having a fur farm where animals in cages are being panicked by helicopters flying low on training exercises every few days. ---
**Author:** ![Mouse\_Maven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@Mouse\_Maven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mouse_Maven)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2007, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-made-my-ostrich-impotent/394806/10 "2007-03-06T22:11:06Z")
I can’t get this image out of my head: An ostrich with his head dangling around his feet, because - well, you _know_. ---
**Author:** ![Chanteuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@Chanteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chanteuse)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2007, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-made-my-ostrich-impotent/394806/11 "2007-03-06T22:39:33Z")
[QUOTE=lisacurl] Best thread title I’ve seen in weeks, by the way. [/QUOTE] Why, thank you! :o The whole thing really struck me as funny, because I can just imagine the lawyers arguments. How in the world could you keep a straight face while cross-examining a man on just how much sex his ostrich typically had in a six month period? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![OBJECTION](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/fbc32d/32.png) [@OBJECTION](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OBJECTION)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2007, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-made-my-ostrich-impotent/394806/12 "2007-03-06T23:12:48Z")
[QUOTE=lisacurl] Best thread title I’ve seen in weeks, by the way. [/QUOTE] There’s a way to improve on it however: Have the ‘quote’ be in the orginal _German_. ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2007, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-made-my-ostrich-impotent/394806/13 "2007-03-07T01:58:37Z")
[QUOTE=OBJECTION!!] There’s a way to improve on it however: Have the ‘quote’ be in the orginal _German_. [/QUOTE] According to Google Translate: Du bildetest meinen Ostrich machtlos! (though I suspect that isn’t grammatically correct…) ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2007, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-made-my-ostrich-impotent/394806/14 "2007-03-07T04:05:10Z")
[QUOTE=badbadrubberpiggy] I keep reading the thread title as “Omnipotent”. All-Knowing Ostrich would be a good band name, though. [/QUOTE] To the Tune of the Czarist National Anthem (think 1812 Overture): Ostrich Omnipotent! Bird who ne’er fliest Thou needest Viagra; Levitra for thee! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2007, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-made-my-ostrich-impotent/394806/15 "2007-03-07T05:14:55Z")
Has anybody considered the possibility that when the firecrackers went off, Gustav thought he was being shot. And that even after he figured out the truth, he realized that life was short and he could no longer waste his life sticking his head in the sand and living a lie. And that it was time to be what he really was - a proud gay ostrich - and to hell with what all the other animals in the zoo thought. ---
**Author:** ![phall0106](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phall0106/32/5934_2.png) [@phall0106](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phall0106)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2007, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-made-my-ostrich-impotent/394806/16 "2007-03-07T13:13:08Z")
[QUOTE=Little Nemo] Has anybody considered the possibility that when the firecrackers went off, Gustav thought he was being shot. And that even after he figured out the truth, he realized that life was short and he could no longer waste his life sticking his head in the sand and living a lie. And that it was time to be what he really was - a proud gay ostrich - and to hell with what all the other animals in the zoo thought. [/QUOTE] Well, I have to admit, I hadn’t thought of it that way. It does, however, make sense. ---
**Author:** ![Pushkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Pushkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pushkin)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2007, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-made-my-ostrich-impotent/394806/17 "2007-03-07T14:41:13Z")
[QUOTE=Polycarp] In all fairness, though, I was involved tangentially in a similarly goofball situation. Some people south of Fort Drum, NY, had a fur farm, and the Army helicopters would overfly the farm and panic the animals, which were in cages of course [/QUOTE] A regular occurance in Northern Ireland during the Troubles and apparantly a bit of a money spinner for farmers :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Mops](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mops/32/16494_2.png) [@Mops](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mops)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2007, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-made-my-ostrich-impotent/394806/18 "2007-03-16T15:56:37Z")
BTW [the latest development in the case](http://de.news.yahoo.com/12032007/12/einigung-prozess-strauss-gustav-gescheitert.html) (article, German language): the judge proposed the parties settle for vet costs plus 120 hours of work on the ostrich farm by the respondents. The plaintiff did not accept this proposal; now an ostrich expert (struthiologist?) is going to testify on the next court date on 4th June. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2007, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-made-my-ostrich-impotent/394806/19 "2007-03-17T01:07:11Z")
Re: Thread topic Been there, done that. [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=411096&highlight=ostrich](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=411096&highlight=ostrich) \ ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2007, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-made-my-ostrich-impotent/394806/20 "2007-03-17T11:11:29Z")
> [@](#): > > Before Gustav regained his sex drive in the second half of the year, the farmer estimates he lost out on 14 ostrich offspring — worth $460 apiece. Isn’t this a clasic example of counting your eggs before they’re hatched? Title: Dream On Change it to I would have had a field of peas, if it had been planted, but somebody broke my tractor, so I didn’t plant the peas, so they owe me for a harvested pea crop. I didn’t have an obligation to rent a tractor in the interm, to plant the crop, and minimise my losses. I lost the farm because I couldn’t pay the morgage, because they broke my tractor, so I didn’t plant the peas, and they owed me for a harvested pea crop, because it wasn’t up to me to rent a tractor to plant the crop, and minimise my losses, so they owe me for a farm. I lost my popular famous resort, because I was going to build it on the farm with a second morgage on the farm, which I couldn’t do when I lost the farm because I couldn’t pay the morgage, because they broke my tractor, so I didn’t plant the peas, and they owed me for a harvested pea crop, because it wasn’t up to me to rent a tractor to plant the crop, and minimise my losses, so they owe me for a popular famous resort.