# You may ask God any three yes-or-no questions and have them answered. What do you ask? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 19, 2009, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750 "2009-09-19T21:40:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![TWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@TWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TWDuke)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/21 "2009-09-20T01:16:53Z")
1. So, I can ask you anything? 2. Did that count as one of my questions? 3. Can I have a do-over? ETA: Okay, more seriously, I’m not sure I’d want to ask the Giant Brain anything. Sure, it’s omniscient, but that doesn’t mean that it’s honest, or that it has the same priorities and values I do. (“Should I bet everything on red?” “Emphatically yes! (Because I want you to lose your money and end up homeless and destitute, mwah-ha-ha!”) ---
**Author:** ![Ponch8](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponch8/32/9883_2.png) [@Ponch8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponch8)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/22 "2009-09-20T01:39:44Z")
> [@TWDuke](#): > > 1. So, I can ask you anything? > 2. Did that count as one of my questions? > 3. Can I have a do-over? > > ETA: Okay, more seriously, I’m not sure I’d want to ask the Giant Brain anything. Sure, it’s omniscient, but that doesn’t mean that it’s honest, or that it has the same priorities and values I do. (“Should I bet everything on red?” “Emphatically yes! (Because I want you to lose your money and end up homeless and destitute, mwah-ha-ha!”) 1. Are you REALLY the Lord? 2. Really? 3. You? Thank you. Come again. ---
**Author:** ![rbroome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/838e76/32.png) [@rbroome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rbroome)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/23 "2009-09-20T02:52:38Z")
> [@Nobody](#): > > OK, OK, Mr. Stickler for details I’ll change question 3 to > > Do you ever plan to turn Earth into a paradise? > > There, you happy now? 🙂 answer: yes. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/24 "2009-09-20T03:28:29Z")
> [@Nobody](#): > > It’s a three part question. 😃 No, it’s an attempt to ask three-questions at once. Since saying neither saying the word “yes” or “no” once can answer the question adequately, it’s clearly not a simple yes or no question. It’s like trying to get around the “three wishes from a genie” rule by wishing for more wishes. Nobody’s fooled. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/25 "2009-09-20T04:09:42Z")
Are you really the Great Squisy? Really? Really? ---
**Author:** ![CT\_Damsel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CT\_Damsel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CT_Damsel)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/26 "2009-09-20T04:17:35Z")
Do you spend most of your time laughing at us (humans)? If I kill myself will I still get to be with Alvin in the after-life? Is some other species really in charge and we (humans) do not realize it? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/27 "2009-09-20T04:44:28Z")
Do people have a form of individual existence that exists after their bodies die? If the answer is yes then: Do the actions that people take and/or the beliefs they hold during their life affect the condition of their afterlives? If the answer to that one is yes, then: Are there reasonable means available to the average person which lets us determine what actions or beliefs will cause us to have a better afterlife? Not a final answer but at least a series of yeses would give us some guidelines. On the other hand, if the answer to any of my questions is no, then we’re kind of stuck. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/28 "2009-09-20T05:04:50Z")
1. Will Team A cover the spread against Team B? 2. Will Team C cover the spread against Team D? 3. Will Team E cover the spread against Team F? Those games will be staggered in consecutive weeks. I’ll bet everything I have or can borrow, doubling my money each time. Then I’ll retire. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/29 "2009-09-20T05:20:29Z")
Are you really just a big giant magic 8 ball? Is that blue stuff inside of you toxic? Are you still sold at Walmart? ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/30 "2009-09-20T05:41:48Z")
1. Should I care what you think? 2. Is there anything I could do about it anyway? 3. Anybody want a peanut? ---
**Author:** ![Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f08c70/32.png) [@Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncle_Brother_Walker)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/31 "2009-09-20T07:02:16Z")
> [@Nobody](#): > > OK, OK, Mr. Stickler for details I’ll change question 3 to > > Do you ever plan to turn Earth into a paradise? > > There, you happy now? 🙂 Yes. Once the human race splits the earth in two during your next world war. Then I can play. 😃 I’ll be here all week. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/32 "2009-09-20T07:20:03Z")
Want to switch roles? Please? C’mon?! Dammit. It was worth a shot. ---
**Author:** ![Discipline](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/82dd89/32.png) [@Discipline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Discipline)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/33 "2009-09-20T07:52:42Z")
I must be the only one who doesn’t give a shit what the meaning of life is. I can’t really believe none of you would ask something closer to “why didn’t she do x…?” or “what if we had done x instead of y…” or “how would my life be different if I had decided x?” For all the intellectual and philosophical masturbation we love here, I know I’d sleep a lot better with answers to some much more simple questions. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Awesome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a698b9/32.png) [@Captain\_Awesome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Awesome)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/34 "2009-09-20T08:38:34Z")
Did Beyoncé really have one of the best videos of all time? ---
**Author:** ![mecaenas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/91b2a8/32.png) [@mecaenas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mecaenas)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/35 "2009-09-20T09:30:12Z")
> [@pedescribe](#): > > 1. Do you like Christianity better than Judaism? > > 2. Do you like Judaism better than Islam? > > 3. Do you like Islam better than Christianity? > > There, that’s thousands of years of direct and bloody conflict solved. No, it wouldn’t because whomever wasn’t the favoured religion would simply claim that either the so-called “God” you met with was a demon, anti-christ or deceiver sent to test the faith of the true believers and that you are an instrument of evil. If anything, it would prompt a higher level of tension and lead to bloody conflicts as they went to war over the whole question/answer issue. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 9:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/36 "2009-09-20T09:47:53Z")
Does free will exist? Does the devil exist as an independent personal entity, not a mental/social construct? Is there life after death? ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/37 "2009-09-20T10:57:51Z")
Do you know which of these cups is poisoned? The battle of wits has begun. Are all forms of religion you just basically reinventing yourself because of boredom? Do you really need a starship? ---
**Author:** ![adhay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@adhay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/adhay)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/38 "2009-09-20T15:09:53Z")
Did you create me as _a part of_ you? Did you create me as _apart from_ you? Are you content with your creation of me? ---
**Author:** ![breezman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4491bb/32.png) [@breezman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/breezman)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/39 "2009-09-20T17:04:12Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > No, it’s an attempt to ask three-questions at once. Since saying neither saying the word “yes” or “no” once can answer the question adequately. I disagree. The question is the logical conjunction of three statements, and therefore a single yes or no is an adequate (if unsatisfying) answer to the question. ---
**Author:** ![in\_hiding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c5a1d2/32.png) [@in\_hiding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/in_hiding)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/40 "2009-09-20T17:39:40Z")
As the existance of such a god explains a lot already… Is P = NP? Is there intelligent life somewhere out in Space? Uhm… …dunno… yes or no… Is there a correct theory of everything that humans can understand? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750.md?page=3)