# You may ask God any three yes-or-no questions and have them answered. What do you ask? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 19, 2009, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750 "2009-09-19T21:40:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![TheMadHun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@TheMadHun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheMadHun)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/41 "2009-09-20T17:49:44Z")
1. Who are you really? Allen Funt or Ashton Kutcher? 2. When will I get that pony I endlessly prayed for as a kid? 3. Got a light? And no, I don’t have a spare cig for you. * * * Well, since I answered off the title and not the OP, it says “you wasted a questiona and life is unfair” but that’s not true in either part. I like my questions and life is fair to middling. ---
**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2009, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/42 "2009-09-22T13:23:29Z")
1. Will I ever publish a best selling novel? 2. Will I ever be able to give birth to my own babies? 3. Do you know where the fire extinguisher is so I can put out this burning bush here? ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2009, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/43 "2009-09-22T17:03:04Z")
Does free will exist? Does any religion on Earth come close to your philosophy? Are we the only sentient beings in the Universe? I think even being confronted with someone I then believed was god would change my entire life. Many here are taking for granted it’d be a Judeo-Christian god, how on Earth would a Shinto god answer, “Does the devil exist as an independent personal entity, not a mental/social construct?” ---
**Author:** ![janeslogin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@janeslogin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janeslogin)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2009, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/44 "2009-09-22T17:10:47Z")
Can I have additional questions? Would you tell me what to ask next? [Still waiting.] ---
**Author:** ![Cumberdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@Cumberdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cumberdale)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2009, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/45 "2009-09-22T17:20:52Z")
Why can’t you write or inspire a logical, coherent text that does not include glaring contridictions from page 1 and appears just to be a bunch of stuff selected by primitive peoples that have no relevance to modern life? If your so vast and unknowable and perfect, why do you care who I sleep with? Why do you continue to allow the branch of NAMBLA (AKA the catholic church) to continue to destroy lives, cover it up and not pay a price? ---
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2009, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/46 "2009-09-22T17:40:45Z")
is there a higher purpose to all this? want a beer? can I have gills? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2009, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/47 "2009-09-22T17:42:56Z")
Some of you seem to be missing the subtle constraint of the yes/no answer proviso. Otherwise my first question would be “What would be the answer to any question which would provide me with the greatest benefit that I could achieve by receiving such an answer?” My follow-up questions would be “What would be the answer to any question which would provide me with the second greatest benefit that I could achieve by receiving such an answer?” and “What would be the answer to any question which would provide me with the third greatest benefit that I could achieve by receiving such an answer?” ---
**Author:** ![luv2draw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/46a35a/32.png) [@luv2draw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/luv2draw)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2009, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/48 "2009-09-22T17:54:44Z")
I will give up my 3 yes/no questions just to get the answer to this one: What is with all these migraines??? ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2009, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/49 "2009-09-22T17:57:23Z")
1. Would [classified] be happier if I contacted him? 2. Am I making decisions in my life based on the correct moral criteria? 3. Is there any religious group that you want us to hate? ---
**Author:** ![luv2draw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/46a35a/32.png) [@luv2draw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/luv2draw)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2009, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/50 "2009-09-22T18:11:46Z")
I will give up my 3 yes/no questions just to get the answer to this one: What is with all these migraines??? ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2009, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/51 "2009-09-22T18:20:58Z")
1. Are you really God? 2. Really? 3. You? ---
**Author:** ![GuiriEnEspana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc79bd/32.png) [@GuiriEnEspana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuiriEnEspana)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2009, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/52 "2009-09-22T19:14:09Z")
1. Is the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything really 42? 2. If Yes, is the ultimate question written anywhere in this universe? 3. If yes, am I warm (near)? ---
**Author:** ![Brainiac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8797f3/32.png) [@Brainiac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brainiac)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2009, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/53 "2009-09-22T19:23:30Z")
1. Can I pray for everyone else to live longer than my enemy, starting today? 2. Can I create my own tax haven “church” and still get into heaven? 3. Can I get fries with that? ---
**Author:** ![nivlac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@nivlac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nivlac)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2009, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/54 "2009-09-22T19:28:39Z")
1. Do you have a creator? 2. Will I have a conscious existence after I die? 3. Followup to #2, if yes, will I like it? ---
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/55 "2009-09-23T02:31:58Z")
Are you God? Can I ask you a question? Are you sure? So will there… Oh fuck… ☹ ---
**Author:** ![TWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@TWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TWDuke)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/56 "2009-09-23T08:40:20Z")
> [@Discipline](#): > > I can’t really believe none of you would ask something closer to “why didn’t she do x…?” or “what if we had done x instead of y…” or “how would my life be different if I had decided x?” > > For all the intellectual and philosophical masturbation we love here, I know I’d sleep a lot better with answers to some much more simple questions. At least some of us managed to _ **read the title of the thread** _ before masturbating. ---
**Author:** ![Nancarrow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c37758/32.png) [@Nancarrow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nancarrow)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/57 "2009-09-23T12:07:03Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Some of you seem to be missing the subtle constraint of the yes/no answer proviso. Yeah, tell me about it. I mean, just look at this guy: > [@](#): > > Otherwise my first question would be “What would be the answer to any question which would provide me with the greatest benefit that I could achieve by receiving such an answer?” > > My follow-up questions would be “What would be the answer to any question which would provide me with the second greatest benefit that I could achieve by receiving such an answer?” and “What would be the answer to any question which would provide me with the third greatest benefit that I could achieve by receiving such an answer?” God answers, yes, no and yes in that order. Now what? ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/58 "2009-09-23T12:37:53Z")
Well, [God IS online](http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html), so we can ask him all these questions and more. > [@](#): > > Me: Do you like Judaism better then Christianism? > God: Do you like it? I like anything. > Me: Is there an afterlife? > God: No. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/59 "2009-09-23T16:44:24Z")
> [@](#): > > Yeah, tell me about it. I mean, just look at this guy That guy understood the OP. He listed three yes/no questions. Then he gave a second set of questions for use if God was giving open answers. ---
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/60 "2009-09-24T00:37:13Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > Well, [God IS online](http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html), so we can ask him all these questions and more. That’s only two questions. Did you just give up on life after hearing the answer to your second question? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750.md?page=4)