# You may quantum leap into a fictional character's life for one week. Who do you choose? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 14, 2010, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-quantum-leap-into-a-fictional-characters-life-for-one-week-who-do-you-choose/524990 "2010-01-14T21:28:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2010, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-quantum-leap-into-a-fictional-characters-life-for-one-week-who-do-you-choose/524990/61 "2010-01-15T13:10:14Z")
I’m not going to disappoint the LOTR fans: Faramir, post ROTK. Who wouldn’t want to get their hands on Eowyn? 🙂 King Elessar Telcontar, post ROTK: Arwen. 'Nuff said! ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2010, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-quantum-leap-into-a-fictional-characters-life-for-one-week-who-do-you-choose/524990/62 "2010-01-15T13:52:27Z")
Mystique from the X-men universe. I would get my arse down to LA and spend the week shapeshifting into incredibly hot men and having sex with other incredibly hot men. Job done. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2010, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-quantum-leap-into-a-fictional-characters-life-for-one-week-who-do-you-choose/524990/63 "2010-01-15T15:19:42Z")
> [@In\_Winnipeg](#): > > Ward Cleaver. > > I would send Wally and The Beaver off to boarding school, so I could boink June silly, especially since she always seemed to be the perfect wife. I will bet all the money in my IRA against all the nickels in your piggy bank that June insists on making love with the lights off, while wearing a flannel nightgown with a very small hole in the groin. Also that she spends the entire time staring at the ceiling and thinking of England. Well, the Mid-west. ---
**Author:** ![Llama\_Llogophile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@Llama\_Llogophile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Llama_Llogophile)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2010, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-quantum-leap-into-a-fictional-characters-life-for-one-week-who-do-you-choose/524990/64 "2010-01-15T15:26:46Z")
Indiana Jones Or perhaps Dirk Diggler in the first half of Boogie Nights. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2010, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-quantum-leap-into-a-fictional-characters-life-for-one-week-who-do-you-choose/524990/65 "2010-01-15T15:32:48Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > I’m not going to disappoint the LOTR fans: > > Faramir, post ROTK. Who wouldn’t want to get their hands on Eowyn? 🙂 Aragorn, obviously, which only approves that he was a Fool of a Took. > [@](#): > > King Elessar Telcontar, post ROTK: Arwen. 'Nuff said! So you’re _voluntarily_ jumping into a FoaT? 😕😃 I think Aragorn’s a major mistake, actually. If anybody’s gonna see through the illusion of the QLA, it’s an elf–even a half-elf. You’re less likely to find yourself getting some Arwen nookie than you are to find yourself with her knife at your throat and some 'splaining to do. Also, even post Ringwar, Aragorn was a busy fellow, with lots of wars to fight. Even if you have his memories and physical abilities, you’re still likely to lack his personality, and that’s a major part of being a badass. > [@Stealth\_Potato](#): > > Right now? I’d use it to jump into one of _my_ characters, so I could finish this damn chapter. Hop into her head for the pivotal week, see what happens, write it down. > > Or does the device only work for fiction that’s already written? 😛 The way I was thinking when I wrote the OP was that you would have to jump into the character’s life during a given storyline already chronicled. But as I neglected to specify that, and nobody seems to be operating under that thesis, screw it. ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2010, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-quantum-leap-into-a-fictional-characters-life-for-one-week-who-do-you-choose/524990/66 "2010-01-15T15:59:23Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Of course they will. You’re not exchanging minds with the person you leap into; your body is put in the place of his or her body. There’s a magic field that makes your body seem like his body. > > That’s how it worked for Sam, anyway. The beauty of the fictional universe I picked it that no one has incurable STDs so a couple round of penicillin once I’m back and everything is all cured up. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2010, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-quantum-leap-into-a-fictional-characters-life-for-one-week-who-do-you-choose/524990/67 "2010-01-15T16:08:35Z")
> [@Oredigger77](#): > > The beauty of the fictional universe I picked it that no one has incurable STDs so a couple round of penicillin once I’m back and everything is all cured up. I was going to do a :rolleyes:, but then I remembered that you wanted Charlie Harper. The fact that he’s even alive supports your statement. But we’ll need you to memorize the manufacturing protocols for the HIV vaccine while you’re there. ---
**Author:** ![De\_La\_Rue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@De\_La\_Rue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/De_La_Rue)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2010, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-quantum-leap-into-a-fictional-characters-life-for-one-week-who-do-you-choose/524990/68 "2010-01-15T18:31:12Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I haven’t tried it out myself, but I seriously doubt the QLA is going to work on God, and I also suspect that even trying at best amuse him and at worst seriously piss him off. Anyone wishing to prove me wrong is invited to steal and/or invent his/her/its own leaping chamber. How about _Tom the Dancing Bug_’s [God-Man](http://www.fecundity.com/pmagnus/godman.html)? Although his total omnipotence is somewhat ambiguous, as he seems to have random limits to his omnipotence depending on the gag. My second choice: the devil from [“I of Newton”](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_of_Newton). ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2010, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-quantum-leap-into-a-fictional-characters-life-for-one-week-who-do-you-choose/524990/69 "2010-01-15T19:17:18Z")
I would jump into Willow Rosenberg right before a certain VERY BAD THING happens. Then I would yell “Duck!”. Then I would enjoy a lovely week of magic, hanging out with the scoobie gang, and… well… other stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2010, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-quantum-leap-into-a-fictional-characters-life-for-one-week-who-do-you-choose/524990/70 "2010-01-15T19:23:37Z")
> [@pancakes3](#): > > um… why? Eh, I like the books, and I like the characters. Depending on the period in the books’ history that the leap occurred, jet-setting around and enjoying ambiguous-time-period wealthy life could be fun. They wouldn’t be my first choices, though. I still think Magneto would be the most fun. I’ve always harbored a secret desire to be able to lift idiot drivers’ cars up and deposit them gently on nearby roofs. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2010, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-quantum-leap-into-a-fictional-characters-life-for-one-week-who-do-you-choose/524990/71 "2010-01-15T19:28:50Z")
> [@MaxTheVool](#): > > I would jump into Willow Rosenberg right before a certain VERY BAD THING happens. Then I would yell “Duck!”. Then I would enjoy a lovely week of magic, hanging out with the scoobie gang, and… well… other stuff. But that’s not enough. Tara looks at you and wonders why, and doesn’t duck in time. She still dies. You meanwhile have interfered with the most powerful witch in North America, who will probably blame you for her sweetie’s death and who is more than capable of hunting you down across realities. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2010, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-quantum-leap-into-a-fictional-characters-life-for-one-week-who-do-you-choose/524990/72 "2010-01-15T20:00:05Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > But that’s not enough. Tara looks at you and wonders why, and doesn’t duck in time. She still dies. You meanwhile have interfered with the most powerful witch in North America, who will probably blame you for her sweetie’s death and who is more than capable of hunting you down across realities. Well, I don’t just jump in 2 seconds ahead of time, for goodness sake. And if she doesn’t duck, I cast some spell or other, having all the capabilities of a super-powerful witch. ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2010, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-quantum-leap-into-a-fictional-characters-life-for-one-week-who-do-you-choose/524990/73 "2010-01-15T21:31:30Z")
I want to be one of the lesser known characters in the Harry Potterverse. One of the Patil twins perhaps. Maybe Susan Bones. Someone who gets all the joy and wonder of having magic at their fingertips but without being the direct target of Voldemort. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2010, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-quantum-leap-into-a-fictional-characters-life-for-one-week-who-do-you-choose/524990/74 "2010-01-15T21:58:00Z")
Hank Moody. ---
**Author:** ![Telcontar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Telcontar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telcontar)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2010, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-quantum-leap-into-a-fictional-characters-life-for-one-week-who-do-you-choose/524990/75 "2010-01-15T22:06:18Z")
> [@Tahssa](#): > > The Doctor. Really, can there be a better answer? Take a week in the TARDIS and get around. Hell, with his brain and memories just spending a week staring at the wall would be an adventure. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2010, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-quantum-leap-into-a-fictional-characters-life-for-one-week-who-do-you-choose/524990/76 "2010-01-15T22:51:28Z")
James T. Kirk To boldly boink bodacious Betelguesian babes until the recall notice is sent. ---
**Author:** ![J-P\_L](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/j-p_l/32/3156_2.png) [@J-P\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/J-P_L)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2010, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-quantum-leap-into-a-fictional-characters-life-for-one-week-who-do-you-choose/524990/77 "2010-01-16T00:54:21Z")
James Bond - cool gadgets, lots of action, fast cars and always gets the good looking girl at the end ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2010, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-quantum-leap-into-a-fictional-characters-life-for-one-week-who-do-you-choose/524990/78 "2010-01-16T01:06:13Z")
I’d pop into Major Nelson, of I\* Dream of Jeannie\*. Jeannie will be getting quite the surprise when I come home from the base. Plus, Jeannie can bend all kinds of rules, so this is going to be a LOT longer than a week. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2010, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-quantum-leap-into-a-fictional-characters-life-for-one-week-who-do-you-choose/524990/79 "2010-01-16T01:08:14Z")
Do Cartoon characters count? Because if so, it’s a tough call between Stan Smith (_American Dad!_) and Dr. Byron Orpheus (_The Venture Bros._) Also, are we guaranteed a week in which the character is actually doing something? I mean, Indiana Jones would be awesome for a week where he was out treasure-hunting, but otherwise you’d just be spending a week as a University Professor. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2010, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-quantum-leap-into-a-fictional-characters-life-for-one-week-who-do-you-choose/524990/80 "2010-01-16T01:23:42Z")
Thursday Next. The metafictional aspects of the books would instantly be increased a hundredfold. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-quantum-leap-into-a-fictional-characters-life-for-one-week-who-do-you-choose/524990.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-quantum-leap-into-a-fictional-characters-life-for-one-week-who-do-you-choose/524990.md?page=5)