# You may retrieve a lost historical artifact. What do you chose?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-retrieve-a-lost-historical-artifact-what-do-you-chose/473879
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [November 21, 2008, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-retrieve-a-lost-historical-artifact-what-do-you-chose/473879 "2008-11-21T18:25:00Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 6
### Author:  [@Septima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Septima)
#### Post date: [November 24, 2008, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-retrieve-a-lost-historical-artifact-what-do-you-chose/473879/101 "2008-11-24T20:05:01Z")
The diary of Agrippina, mother of Nero. She suposedly kept one while all the wonderfully roman political stuff was going on, but the darn thing is never mentioned again. I have no idea where it is at any one point, though, so I’ll settle for just a chance to root through her estate in Misenum at some point during or after all the ruckus outside, what with her murder and all. If I don’t find it, I’ll just stuff my backpack with interresting roman stuff, that will be worth the trip alone.
Oh, and I’ll bring a camera. I want, once and for all, to document the colour of roman military tunics.
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### Author:  [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)
#### Post date: [November 24, 2008, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-retrieve-a-lost-historical-artifact-what-do-you-chose/473879/102 "2008-11-24T20:22:21Z")
> [@Szlater](#):
>
> Can I also suggest that you add some hieroglyphics of your own to the tomb’s decorations. Y’know, fuck with the conspiracy theorists a little.
hehe. The complete illustrated guide to anal probes.
> [@Mrs.Cake](#):
>
> Dinosaurs and dodos made me think of this - back 150 years to raid passenger pigeon nests - get a couple dozen eggs from various nests to guarantee genetic diversity.
[off topic]Did you see my response to your hair loss post in mini-rants? You don’t have PM or email configured in profile.[/off topic]
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#):
>
> I don’t see the point of Simpson. You can’t save the victims. You can’t avert his acquittal. No one seriously believes he’s innocent, and he’s pretty much in jail for life at this point.
True, but from a pure profit viewpoint, do you have any idea how much that video would sell for? No matter who was wielding the knife.
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### Author:  [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)
#### Post date: [November 24, 2008, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-retrieve-a-lost-historical-artifact-what-do-you-chose/473879/103 "2008-11-24T20:52:14Z")
You wouldn’t have to go back very far to get eggs from some of the extinct parrot species…
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### Author:  [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)
#### Post date: [November 24, 2008, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-retrieve-a-lost-historical-artifact-what-do-you-chose/473879/104 "2008-11-24T21:28:18Z")
Coconut of Quendor
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### Author:  [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)
#### Post date: [November 24, 2008, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-retrieve-a-lost-historical-artifact-what-do-you-chose/473879/105 "2008-11-24T21:50:26Z")
A nice clear picture of Jack The Ripper.
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### Author:  [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)
#### Post date: [November 24, 2008, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-retrieve-a-lost-historical-artifact-what-do-you-chose/473879/106 "2008-11-24T21:52:48Z")
> [@UncleRojelio](#):
>
> A nice clear picture of Jack The Ripper.
How do you get it? Will you stalk the victims ahead of time so you can be there and catch him in the act? I imagine many problem from such a scenario including your own possible demise or arrest.
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### Author:  [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [November 24, 2008, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-retrieve-a-lost-historical-artifact-what-do-you-chose/473879/107 "2008-11-24T21:55:11Z")
1910-ish. Hitler’s lungs.
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### Author:  [@JimNightshade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimNightshade)
#### Post date: [November 24, 2008, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-retrieve-a-lost-historical-artifact-what-do-you-chose/473879/108 "2008-11-24T22:55:02Z")
I think I would go back to November 21, 2008, copy this thread to a USB key, delete it from the server, and have it all for myself. Then I would start to negotiate with Skald and demand that bzzzzzz ffft ppffff buzzz @#@7 pfft
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### Author:  [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)
#### Post date: [November 24, 2008, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-retrieve-a-lost-historical-artifact-what-do-you-chose/473879/109 "2008-11-24T23:26:55Z")
Laptop, hand-cranked generator for rewcharging the laptop, lots of thumb drives, & a potable document scanner.
I’m visiting the Great Library of Alexandria!
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### Author:  [@Mr.Goob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Goob)
#### Post date: [November 24, 2008, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-retrieve-a-lost-historical-artifact-what-do-you-chose/473879/110 "2008-11-24T23:30:39Z")
I would love a copy of Shakespeare’s lost play\* Romeo and Ethel the fishmongers daughter. \*
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### Author:  [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)
#### Post date: [November 24, 2008, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-retrieve-a-lost-historical-artifact-what-do-you-chose/473879/111 "2008-11-24T23:43:37Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#):
>
> 1910-ish. Hitler’s lungs.
_sigh_
Do you know how many times I personally have gone back in time to stop people from killing Hitler? (Let alone the other guys working on this too.) Or how screwed up the time-line gets when people try? And damn, it’s not hard enough tracking all you people down, but I gotta be sure that I don’t allow you to leave behind technological devices too! Geez, the hell I went through last time the Bavarians got their hands on a laptop and a digital camera… :rolleyes:
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### Author:  [@Szlater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Szlater)
#### Post date: [November 24, 2008, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-retrieve-a-lost-historical-artifact-what-do-you-chose/473879/112 "2008-11-24T23:50:14Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#):
>
> Laptop, hand-cranked generator for rewcharging the laptop, lots of thumb drives, & a potable document scanner.
>
> I’m visiting the Great Library of Alexandria!
Yeah, it’s not really possible to visit there… it keeps getting burnt down earlier and earlier. There’s things that the world is just not supposed to know.
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### Author:  [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)
#### Post date: [November 25, 2008, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-retrieve-a-lost-historical-artifact-what-do-you-chose/473879/113 "2008-11-25T06:22:46Z")
> [@panache45](#):
>
> Or Antoni Gaudi’s blueprints for Sagrada Familia, which were destroyed during the Spanish Civil War.
Hm… not sure about that…
his blueprints for the Casa de los Botines in León were thought to be lost, too. Then a few years ago, the house (which had been badly mistreated by some of its owners) was restored. The people who did the work needed to spend almost as much time figuring out which beams were support and which decoration as reinforcing those that needed it and taking out the walls that shouldn’t have been there.
Then when it was almost over, a worker dropped a hammer and it hit the dragon statue over the door, and I’m giving you one guess about what was there.
Do you think hitting the Baby Jesus over the Nativity Gate would be heresy?
Several cameras, a ton of long-life batteries, a solar recharger and a stack of SDs. I want a trip to the Archivos Reales de Navarra shortly before Fernando el Católico’s troops burn them down. Yes, there were copies in Barcelona, but incomplete (mind you, kings of Navarra were never very fond of paperwork in the first place).
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### Author:  [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)
#### Post date: [November 25, 2008, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-retrieve-a-lost-historical-artifact-what-do-you-chose/473879/114 "2008-11-25T06:48:47Z")
> [@Hockey\_Monkey](#):
>
> The Ark of the Covenant. I won’t open it though, I promise.
>
> ETA: It has to fit in a backpack??? The hell? OK, change it to the Holy Grail then. Jeez.
Jeez you don’t read Dan Brown…how is Mary gonna fit in that backpack?
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### Author:  [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)
#### Post date: [November 25, 2008, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-retrieve-a-lost-historical-artifact-what-do-you-chose/473879/115 "2008-11-25T12:30:10Z")
> [@bengangmo](#):
>
> Jeez you don’t read Dan Brown…how is Mary gonna fit in that backpack?
Depends on how well you fold her.
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### Author:  [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)
#### Post date: [November 28, 2008, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-retrieve-a-lost-historical-artifact-what-do-you-chose/473879/116 "2008-11-28T17:03:30Z")
> [@Chimera](#):
>
> _sigh_
>
> Do you know how many times I personally have gone back in time to stop people from killing Hitler? (Let alone the other guys working on this too.) Or how screwed up the time-line gets when people try? And damn, it’s not hard enough tracking all you people down, but I gotta be sure that I don’t allow you to leave behind technological devices too! Geez, the hell I went through last time the Bavarians got their hands on a laptop and a digital camera… :rolleyes:
I keep tellng you not to bother. The situation will always resolve itself so that Hitler when history recorded it, from your point of view. Sending somebody to stop the heroic assassin results only in more people being caught in a sawtooth loop.
Well, except when it’s you. Then everybody on the board gets whiny and I have to go save your as, and by the time I get back I’ve missed \*Benny & Joon \*again.
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### Author:  [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)
#### Post date: [November 28, 2008, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-retrieve-a-lost-historical-artifact-what-do-you-chose/473879/117 "2008-11-28T17:06:33Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#):
>
> Laptop, hand-cranked generator for rewcharging the laptop, lots of thumb drives, & a potable document scanner.
>
> I’m visiting the Great Library of Alexandria!
Are you guys going back to Alexandria, or the sacking of Rome, or whatnot, taking rifles with you? I don’t care personally how many people you kill while defending yourself in the past, but if Security discovers an unclaimed weapon on you during the strip search and cavity probing, they’re [del]likely[/del] certain to behead you on the spot. You’ll have to disassemble your weapon, place the components and ammo in separate containers, and surrender it to the Elves at the gate before they let you thru, and they’ll give you the parts once you’re back in yesterday.
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### Author:  [@Szlater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Szlater)
#### Post date: [November 28, 2008, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-retrieve-a-lost-historical-artifact-what-do-you-chose/473879/118 "2008-11-28T17:07:55Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#):
>
> Are you guys going back to Alexandria
No one’s going back to Alexandria… well not successfully anyway. I thought I made that perfectly clear! 🙂
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### Author:  [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)
#### Post date: [November 28, 2008, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-retrieve-a-lost-historical-artifact-what-do-you-chose/473879/119 "2008-11-28T17:11:44Z")
> [@Projammer](#):
>
> True, but from a pure profit viewpoint, do you have any idea how much that video [of Simpson committing murder] would sell for? No matter who was wielding the knife.
Exactly bupkis. If the continua devices existence is public knowledge, surely its owner has already cornered the market on such things. If it is not public knowledge, everyone will assume you’re a gifted counterfeiter, and the device’s owner, annoyed that you have endangered his secret, will send brainwashed elf assassins after you.
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### Author:  [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2008, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-retrieve-a-lost-historical-artifact-what-do-you-chose/473879/120 "2008-11-29T01:51:32Z")
> [@Szlater](#):
>
> No one’s going back to Alexandria… well not successfully anyway. I thought I made that perfectly clear! 🙂
How long did it take you to sink the city, anyway?
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