# You meet/find a real-life genie, what do you ask him? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 15, 2016, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-meet-find-a-real-life-genie-what-do-you-ask-him/774816 "2016-12-15T22:38:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Atomic\_Alex](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atomic_alex/32/175_2.png) [@Atomic\_Alex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomic_Alex)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2016, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-meet-find-a-real-life-genie-what-do-you-ask-him/774816/1 "2016-12-15T22:38:30Z")
Yes, ask him, not so much ‘what do you wish for’ although we’ll get to that. Scenario\* is that while out for a walk you come across a half-buried classic Aladdin style lamp, giving it a rub a genie appears in suitably dramatic fashion. He’s pretty impressive looking and certainly seems to be the real deal, he offers you the standard three wishes. What do you ask him? Or do you just jump straight into the three wishes? Decide its not worth the risk and simply walk away? How do you react? To cover the obvious you’re told you can’t wish for more wishes\*\* The purpose of this thread isn’t really the wishes themselves but just out of curiosity, and deciding you do want to use them, what do you wish for? \*yes, I know genies aren’t real, for the sake of the OP just pretend the scenario actually happened, you can tell him you aren’t falling for special effects and walk away if you like. \*\*or more genies, and I’m just wondering that assuming this thread gets any replies at all how long it takes before somebody says something about Trump, because people just can’t help themselves. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2016, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-meet-find-a-real-life-genie-what-do-you-ask-him/774816/2 "2016-12-15T22:45:14Z")
For the magical power to grant my own wishes. Duh! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2016, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-meet-find-a-real-life-genie-what-do-you-ask-him/774816/3 "2016-12-15T22:57:27Z")
Since he’s obviously been alive for thousands (tens of thousands?) of years, I’d ask him which (if any) religions are factually based. then I’d ask how exactly he violates the laws of thermodynamics, and what his power source is. Then I’d ask if there were any limitations to his powers. Then I’d ask what he would do if he had free will to do whatever he wanted. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2016, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-meet-find-a-real-life-genie-what-do-you-ask-him/774816/4 "2016-12-15T23:03:51Z")
As an unselfish service to humanity, perhaps an omniscient genie could clear up a few things? 1. Math & Computing: P vs NP. 2. Physics & Cosmology: correct approach to unify QM and GR? 3. Biology: if we evolved from monkeys, why are there still monkeys? ---
**Author:** ![snoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@snoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snoe)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2016, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-meet-find-a-real-life-genie-what-do-you-ask-him/774816/5 "2016-12-15T23:09:54Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > As an unselfish service to humanity, perhaps an omniscient genie could clear up a few things? > > 1. Math & Computing: P vs NP. > 2. Physics & Cosmology: correct approach to unify QM and GR? > 3. Biology: if we evolved from monkeys, why are there still monkeys? That last one is silly (I think) - we evolved from a common ancestor shared with monkeys! But I’m guessing Riemann threw that in as a joke. Anyway, if asking the genie questions doesn’t subtract from my wish-bank, I have a lot of questions to ask. First one: where did you come from, genie? ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2016, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-meet-find-a-real-life-genie-what-do-you-ask-him/774816/6 "2016-12-15T23:31:34Z")
If I thought that there was a chance I’d ever actually meet a genie, I’d memorize [this](http://hubbinash.org/comics/comic3/). ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2016, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-meet-find-a-real-life-genie-what-do-you-ask-him/774816/7 "2016-12-16T00:58:03Z")
Like any true Briton, I’ll bring out my thermos flask and ask if he’d like a cup of tea. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2016, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-meet-find-a-real-life-genie-what-do-you-ask-him/774816/8 "2016-12-16T01:45:53Z")
I’d ask if I can swap a wish for, say, twenty yes/no questions. Even if “Yes: that’s one” is the answer, cool! 19 yes/no questions from someone who has stood face-to-face with Allah! ---
**Author:** ![ASGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/838e76/32.png) [@ASGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2016, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-meet-find-a-real-life-genie-what-do-you-ask-him/774816/9 "2016-12-16T01:55:55Z")
I have gone through this exact scenario many times walking around my property. I’m thinking (actually talking) about something hypothetical and I stop and say, (literally) “the genie comes out fo the bottle and says ‘I can do this thing…’” I’ve done this so many times there is no point in relating one event. I am confident that I am not alone in this speculative thinking. ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2016, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-meet-find-a-real-life-genie-what-do-you-ask-him/774816/10 "2016-12-16T03:27:42Z")
nope, I’m a yellowbellied chicken turd with a cowardly streak down my back a mile wide, I take the lamp, hide it just as cleverly as I can so it can hopefully never be found or retrieved, even by me, and walk away without ever invoking the genie. I’ve watched to many evil genie movies. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2016, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-meet-find-a-real-life-genie-what-do-you-ask-him/774816/11 "2016-12-16T03:39:05Z")
> [@guestchaz](#): > > nope, I’m a yellowbellied chicken turd with a cowardly streak down my back a mile wide, I take the lamp, hide it just as cleverly as I can so it can hopefully never be found or retrieved, even by me, and walk away without ever invoking the genie. I’ve watched to many evil genie movies. Before you risk the [Jackass Genie](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/JackassGenie), look at what mere mortals are capable of coming up with. [Corrupted Wish](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=640854&highlight=corrupted) [Corrupted Wish Game.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=466484&highlight=corrupted) ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2016, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-meet-find-a-real-life-genie-what-do-you-ask-him/774816/12 "2016-12-16T03:49:20Z")
coach, that doesn’t help yanno ---
**Author:** ![SigMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@SigMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SigMan)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2016, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-meet-find-a-real-life-genie-what-do-you-ask-him/774816/13 "2016-12-16T05:30:04Z")
Three wishes? I want to be healthy, wealthy and wise. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2016, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-meet-find-a-real-life-genie-what-do-you-ask-him/774816/14 "2016-12-16T05:43:59Z")
I’d ask “Do you get paid by cash or check?” ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2016, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-meet-find-a-real-life-genie-what-do-you-ask-him/774816/15 "2016-12-16T05:51:03Z")
I can’t resist posting one of my favorite Lenny Bruce routines about The Genie, from about 1955: [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/nsjZ-dOdH38/hqdefault.jpg "Djinni in the Bottle by Lenny Bruce") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nsjZ-dOdH38) ---
**Author:** ![doubleminus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5daacb/32.png) [@doubleminus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doubleminus)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2016, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-meet-find-a-real-life-genie-what-do-you-ask-him/774816/16 "2016-12-18T02:55:21Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > 1. Math & Computing: P vs NP. P is unequal to NP. We just can’t prove it. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2016, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-meet-find-a-real-life-genie-what-do-you-ask-him/774816/17 "2016-12-18T03:09:49Z")
Anyone mention hookers and blow? ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2016, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-meet-find-a-real-life-genie-what-do-you-ask-him/774816/18 "2016-12-18T03:37:49Z")
1. The ability to convince anyone of the rightness of my position. After that, all else is details. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2016, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-meet-find-a-real-life-genie-what-do-you-ask-him/774816/19 "2016-12-18T04:03:24Z")
> [@kopek](#): > > Anyone mention hookers and blow? Fishhooks and C-4! ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2016, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-meet-find-a-real-life-genie-what-do-you-ask-him/774816/20 "2016-12-18T04:29:21Z")
Does anybody really know what time it is? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-meet-find-a-real-life-genie-what-do-you-ask-him/774816.md?page=2)