# You Mexican Bastard

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-mexican-bastard/405229>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [May 23, 2007, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-mexican-bastard/405229 "2007-05-23T15:36:17Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 4

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**Author:** ![Nancarrow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c37758/32.png) [@Nancarrow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nancarrow)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2007, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-mexican-bastard/405229/61 "2007-05-23T18:44:51Z")

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[QUOTE=A Monkey With a Gun]  
You’re an idiot, too. Go away.  
[/QUOTE]

FWIW I very much enjoyed your story.

I suspect **JKellyMap** did too.

I imagine any member of The Offenderati didn’t, but until a member of The Offenderati shows up, I guess we won’t know.

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**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2007, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-mexican-bastard/405229/62 "2007-05-23T18:45:07Z")

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[QUOTE=Nancarrow]  
Actually it’s the only comment your response deserved.

Really. Come on a second will you? _Read_ what you wrote. Compare it to what “The Offenderati” said.

(shakes head)  
[/QUOTE]

Offenderati are offended when there was no reason to be. That accurately describes only you and **JKellyMap** in this thread.

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**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2007, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-mexican-bastard/405229/63 "2007-05-23T18:46:32Z")

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[QUOTE=Nancarrow]  
Go back and read **JKellyMap’s** original response.

Have you read it yet?  
[/quote]

Yup. But I wasn’t responding to that one, but to some of the subsequent posts, which became progressively stupider.

> [@](#):
>
> Now, is **JKellyMap** a member of The Offenderati?
> 
> I propose not. Here’s why. In order to be a member of The Offenderati, you have to… ACTUALLY BE OFFENDED!

No you don’t. Some people object to things because _someone else_, of a group to which they themselves don’t belong, _might_ become offended. Such people are charter members of the offenderati.

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**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2007, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-mexican-bastard/405229/64 "2007-05-23T18:48:02Z")

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Monkey, I liked your story.

I used to use my high school Spanish, too - I’ve passed as Spanish before, and for a while I didn’t even want to be recognized by my own people (E. Indians.) When they would start staring at me in the store and I recognized the stare, i would start jabbering away in Spanish.

however, this backfired badly around real Spanish people. I can’t speak that fast!

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**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2007, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-mexican-bastard/405229/65 "2007-05-23T18:51:27Z")

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[QUOTE=Nancarrow]  
I imagine any member of The Offenderati didn’t, but until a member of The Offenderati shows up, I guess we won’t know.  
[/QUOTE]

You don’t actually understand what that term means, do you?

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**Author:** ![Faruiza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@Faruiza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Faruiza)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2007, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-mexican-bastard/405229/66 "2007-05-23T18:51:27Z")

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[QUOTE=Nancarrow]  
Actually it’s the only comment your response deserved.

Really. Come on a second will you? _Read_ what you wrote. Compare it to what “The Offenderati” said.

(shakes head)  
[/QUOTE]

Perfectly expected from you at this point. Whatever takes the least amount of effort.  
Compare the posts? What comparison is there to draw? Mine contained more vitriol? So what? It’s borne from being sick of the magnifying glass that is used to look for a transgression where there is none. Compare me to the offenderati for that? Knock yourself out. It’s clear that the concept by and large is lost on you anyhow.

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**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2007, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-mexican-bastard/405229/67 "2007-05-23T18:52:02Z")

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[QUOTE=Biggirl]  
So why do you laugh at them when they say they don’t speak English? Because they don’t want to get into a long, involved conversations-- in English-- about how they don’t really want to speak it if they don’t have to and you find it hi-larious to make them?

Seriously. I don’t get the funny there.  
[/QUOTE]

I laugh because they are so willing to let me help them . A pinche’ yeudo (I probably killed that )

They let me help them because they can’t be bothered to wait even 5 minutes to have one the boys call them back.  
Getting into a long drawn out conversation with them is no thrill for either of us. If either of us fucks it up it will cost us both time and money.

The customers who call to speak to me would rather chew thier phone arm off than take a chance of ending up with the wrong shit.  
I don’t sell ladies underwear – what I sell takes skill and accurate information on both our parts . Other wise some kind and wonderful person like yourself might have an accident and end up with a telephone pole stuck in your neck.Or worse yet ,be without a car for 3 hours . OH MY GOD ! The Humanity

You’ve got some imagined slight stuck in your craw , so choke on it . 😃

Or not – I’m trying not to be so much of a dick. It’s not working out real well so far 😃

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**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2007, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-mexican-bastard/405229/68 "2007-05-23T18:58:47Z")

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[QUOTE=Omegaman]  
Other wise some kind and wonderful person like yourself might have an accident and end up with a telephone pole stuck in your neck.  
[/QUOTE]

My pal Jesus protects me from stuff like that yeah yeah.

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**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2007, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-mexican-bastard/405229/69 "2007-05-23T19:01:53Z")

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[QUOTE=Omegaman]  
I laugh because they are so willing to let me help them . A pinche’ yeudo (I probably killed that )

They let me help them because they can’t be bothered to wait even 5 minutes to have one the boys call them back.  
Getting into a long drawn out conversation with them is no thrill for either of us. If either of us fucks it up it will cost us both time and money.

The customers who call to speak to me would rather chew thier phone arm off than take a chance of ending up with the wrong shit.  
I don’t sell ladies underwear – what I sell takes skill and accurate information on both our parts . Other wise some kind and wonderful person like yourself might have an accident and end up with a telephone pole stuck in your neck.Or worse yet ,be without a car for 3 hours . OH MY GOD ! The Humanity

You’ve got some imagined slight stuck in your craw , so choke on it . 😃  
[/QUOTE]

Somebody’s got something stuck in their craw and it ain’t me. I made no mention of what you sell or what you do or your skill level in doing it. Nor did I mention any slight whatsoever. What I did was try to explain why someone who calls a customer service number would say they do not speak English so that they can get a Spanish speaking rep. I also asked why you would laugh at them when they had to speak in English to you.

So-- the person who calls you tells you that they do not speak English. You tell them there is no one around who speaks Spanish. They proceed to try to get service while speaking to you in English. Then everybody laughs at them.

Still don’t get the joke.

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**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2007, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-mexican-bastard/405229/70 "2007-05-23T19:47:22Z")

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[QUOTE=Biggirl]  
Somebody’s got something stuck in their craw and it ain’t me. I made no mention of what you sell or what you do or your skill level in doing it. Nor did I mention any slight whatsoever. What I did was try to explain why someone who calls a customer service number would say they do not speak English so that they can get a Spanish speaking rep. I also asked why you would laugh at them when they had to speak in English to you.

So-- the person who calls you tells you that they do not speak English. You tell them there is no one around who speaks Spanish. They proceed to try to get service while speaking to you in English. Then everybody laughs at them.

Still don’t get the joke.  
[/QUOTE]

I give up ! You win !

There’s no way you’re going to see it anyway but your own . It’s that kind of narrow mindedness that makes this such a wonderful world to live in.

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**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2007, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-mexican-bastard/405229/71 "2007-05-23T19:52:57Z")

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[QUOTE=Uvula Donor]  
My pal Jesus protects me from stuff like that yeah yeah.  
[/QUOTE]

I heard that !

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**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2007, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-mexican-bastard/405229/72 "2007-05-23T20:08:27Z")

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[QUOTE=Omegaman]  
I give up ! You win !

There’s no way you’re going to see it anyway but your own . It’s that kind of narrow mindedness that makes this such a wonderful world to live in.  
[/QUOTE]  
Hmmmm…

I don’t have a dog in this fight, but that’s weaselly. Don’t use the passive voice. It makes you sound like a pussy that can’t win an argument.

If you think **Biggirl’s** wrong, say it. If you think you’re wrong, say it. And most importantly, if you think you can’t reach detente - say that. If you’re tired of the argument, say something about “agreeing to disagree”. Don’t use the passive aggressive shit you just posted.

-Monkey: An armed simian who will smack humans upside the head with a copy of Strunk and White

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**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2007, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-mexican-bastard/405229/73 "2007-05-23T20:08:54Z")

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[QUOTE=Omegaman]  
I give up ! You win !

There’s no way you’re going to see it anyway but your own . It’s that kind of narrow mindedness that makes this such a wonderful world to live in.  
[/QUOTE]

There’s no way I could have possibly won because I don’t even know what in the world you are carrying on about. I don’t get the freaking joke. You could try _explaining_ it to me instead of getting all defensive and calling me narrow minded. Humorless I could understand, but narrow minded?

Perhaps it is just a communication problem between me and you, **Omegaman**. Maybe somebody else can explain to me what so funny that you and your boys have such a good laugh over. **Uvula Donor** , perhaps?

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**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2007, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-mexican-bastard/405229/74 "2007-05-23T20:35:58Z")

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[QUOTE=Biggirl]  
There’s no way I could have possibly won because I don’t even know what in the world you are carrying on about. I don’t get the freaking joke. You could try _explaining_ it to me instead of getting all defensive and calling me narrow minded. Humorless I could understand, but narrow minded?

Perhaps it is just a communication problem between me and you, **Omegaman**. Maybe somebody else can explain to me what so funny that you and your boys have such a good laugh over. **Uvula Donor** , perhaps?  
[/QUOTE]

It’s probably me. A good 35 % of my customers are hispanic. The humor for me is that instead of wait 5 minutes to speak to someone who easlily speaks thier language they would rather fumble through it with me. I should not be surprised you can’t see the humour in this. It’s an all male crew and breaking each others balls is almost the only fun we have. For the most part what we do is very serious and can cause a loss of time and money for all involved.

You’re right … the narrow minded comment was assanine. My most sincere apologies.

That \*\*Uvula Donor \*\* guys is just busting my chops because I said Jesus is my pal.

He’s a laugh riot , that one.

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**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2007, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-mexican-bastard/405229/75 "2007-05-23T20:38:30Z")

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Just an aside,

The hispanic guys laugh thier ass watching me try to explain stuff on the phone. More than once they’ve had to jump in mid conversation to save me.

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**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2007, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-mexican-bastard/405229/76 "2007-05-23T20:47:43Z")

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[QUOTE=Omegaman]  
It’s probably me. A good 35 % of my customers are hispanic. The humor for me is that instead of wait 5 minutes to speak to someone who easlily speaks thier language they would rather fumble through it with me. I should not be surprised you can’t see the humour in this. It’s an all male crew and breaking each others balls is almost the only fun we have. For the most part what we do is very serious and can cause a loss of time and money for all involved.

You’re right … the narrow minded comment was assanine. My most sincere apologies.

That \*\*Uvula Donor \*\* guys is just busting my chops because I said Jesus is my pal.

He’s a laugh riot , that one.  
[/QUOTE]

Ahh! Now I get it!

O.K., back to the goldbricker who got caught out in a lie. I wonder, did he do it just to mess with you or did he actually not do any work unless told to directly by Antonio?

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**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2007, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-mexican-bastard/405229/77 "2007-05-23T21:03:03Z")

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[QUOTE=Biggirl]  
O.K., back to the goldbricker who got caught out in a lie. I wonder, did he do it just to mess with you or did he actually not do any work unless told to directly by Antonio?  
[/QUOTE]  
Wait, that’s a question for me isn’t it?

What you have to realize is I’m not the boss. I’m the guy who breezes through occasionally and fixes the heaters in the greenhouses, the radiator on the forklift, drives the truck… whatever. I know Antonio. I like Antonio. He likes me, too… But he likes his buddy better. Avi thought he could get past this gringo with the “no hablo ingles” bullshit.

This monkey ain’t that stupid.

Honestly, Antonio and I thought the thing was hillarious. Antonio was in on it, I suppose, but he knew that I would figure it out eventually. Yeah, yeah, screw with the damn gringo that only shows up every other week. But it didn’t work though, damnit! Bwahahaha!

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**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2007, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-mexican-bastard/405229/78 "2007-05-23T21:16:07Z")

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[QUOTE=A Monkey With a Gun]  
Hmmmm…

I don’t have a dog in this fight, but that’s weaselly. Don’t use the passive voice. It makes you sound like a pussy that can’t win an argument.

If you think **Biggirl’s** wrong, say it. If you think you’re wrong, say it. And most importantly, if you think you can’t reach detente - say that. If you’re tired of the argument, say something about “agreeing to disagree”. Don’t use the passive aggressive shit you just posted.

-Monkey: An armed simian who will smack humans upside the head with a copy of Strunk and White  
[/QUOTE]

Now I have to apoligize to you too ?

How bout this ? Blow Me !

I’m sorry if my debating skills don’t live up to your lofty expectations. I do most of talking face to face where words are worth only so much .

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**Author:** ![DudleyGarrett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DudleyGarrett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DudleyGarrett)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2007, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-mexican-bastard/405229/79 "2007-05-23T21:19:40Z")

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[QUOTE=A Monkey With a Gun]  
Wait, that’s a question for me isn’t it?

What you have to realize is I’m not the boss. I’m the guy who breezes through occasionally and fixes the heaters in the greenhouses, the radiator on the forklift, drives the truck… whatever. I know Antonio. I like Antonio. He likes me, too… But he likes his buddy better. Avi thought he could get past this gringo with the “no hablo ingles” bullshit.

This monkey ain’t that stupid.

Honestly, Antonio and I thought the thing was hillarious. Antonio was in on it, I suppose, but he knew that I would figure it out eventually. Yeah, yeah, screw with the damn gringo that only shows up every other week. But it didn’t work though, damnit! Bwahahaha!  
[/QUOTE]

You DO realize they are plotting another scheme against the gringo.

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**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2007, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-mexican-bastard/405229/80 "2007-05-23T21:20:27Z")

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[QUOTE=Omegaman]  
Now I have to apoligize to you too ?

How bout this ? Blow Me !

I’m sorry if my debating skills don’t live up to your lofty expectations. I do most of talking face to face where words are worth only so much .  
[/QUOTE]

Technically, he was criticizing your rhetoric skills, not your debate skills.

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