# You might be a Doper if you... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 12, 2005, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-doper-if-you/289694 "2005-02-12T02:43:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![RancidYakButterTeaParty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/53a042/32.png) [@RancidYakButterTeaParty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RancidYakButterTeaParty)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-doper-if-you/289694/1 "2005-02-12T02:43:37Z")
Open separate windows for each forum… Know who would eat a chocolate Jesus and who wouldn’t… know the origin of “pompitous of love”… ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-doper-if-you/289694/2 "2005-02-12T02:53:54Z")
You Might be a Doper if you: Have visited the Marianas Trench… Have ever yelled “BAND NAME!” at a wedding ceremony Asked for a “cite” when negotiating you salary increase with your boss OK - I only really did the last two 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-doper-if-you/289694/3 "2005-02-12T03:03:14Z")
. . . own or know anyone who owns a 1920s-style Death Ray. . . . can definitively tell someone the three words that end in “-gry” . . . “Hi Opal!” and know what it means. . . . can tell me who Cecil Adams is suspected of being. Tripler . . . and can tell me the best “Location” tag you have ever seen. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-doper-if-you/289694/4 "2005-02-12T03:08:16Z")
…you’ve patiently watched your computer churn for upwards of 5 minutes just so you can get the “reply” window to open …you type your posts in a word processing program and paste them into the reply window. Just in case. …you see a username like **RancidYakButterTeaParty** and wonder how your friends in _rural_ Tibet are getting on these days. …know how to read the subliminal notes ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-doper-if-you/289694/5 "2005-02-12T03:17:40Z")
Know all the words that end in -gry. Reply “IANAL” when someone asks what you do for a living. Rummage through antique and resale shops looking for a 1920’s style death ray. Refer to people you’ve had a falling out with, as “BANNED.” Speak. In. Terse. Short. Phrases. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-doper-if-you/289694/6 "2005-02-12T03:19:51Z")
:mad: Resent Tripler for typing faster ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-doper-if-you/289694/7 "2005-02-12T03:38:18Z")
-Have a link to the SDMB from your website. -Refer to yourself as a “Doper” around others who have no idea what you mean (and probably think you’re on drugs) -Ever caught yourself saying, “I sentence you to **Derleth**!!” to someone outside the boards; they also have no idea what you mean ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-doper-if-you/289694/8 "2005-02-12T03:38:35Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > :mad: Resent Tripler for typing faster HAHAAAHHHHH!!! My mother is a secretary/claims rep. She passed onto us **TripKids** the genetics for fast typing. HAH! If my keyboard would be a weapon, it’d be a damn [mini-gun](http://www.kitsune.addr.com/Firearms/Machine-Guns/GE_XM214_Minigun.htm) . Tripler Wait, my keyboard _is_ a weapon. And I am it’s master. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-doper-if-you/289694/9 "2005-02-12T03:59:27Z")
1. You know the author, play and SDMB incident to which the Winter of Missed Content refers to without looking it up. 2. You’ve posted to the Are Scalar Weapons Real? thread. 3. Hi, Opal! 4. You have witnessed, but never incurred the wrath of **Banhattan.** 5. You avoid corn flakes because someone might call you “General Mills.” 6. You remember when **tomendebb** was a mere 2,000 post Doper with a spring in his step and a gleam in his eye! 7. You’re **Lynn Bodoni’s** bitch. 8. **Cecil** posting to a thread you’ve started is a religious experience. 9. You know it never hurts, deep down, to suck up to the moderators. 10. You know TMi and you’re not afraid to use it. ---
**Author:** ![Domokun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c77e96/32.png) [@Domokun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Domokun)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-doper-if-you/289694/10 "2005-02-12T04:03:26Z")
… Putz! (wink) is your insult of choice. ---
**Author:** ![jabiru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbce88/32.png) [@jabiru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jabiru)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-doper-if-you/289694/11 "2005-02-12T04:24:28Z")
1. Say, “I pit John Howard” in general conversation. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-doper-if-you/289694/12 "2005-02-12T04:48:29Z")
You might be a Doper IF: You almost drive your car off the road composing a heated pit debate responding point by point to previous posts and citing other threads _in your head._ ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-doper-if-you/289694/13 "2005-02-12T08:35:38Z")
> [@RancidYakButterTeaParty](#): > > Open separate windows for each forum… Do separate tabs count? > [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > …you’ve patiently watched your computer churn for upwards of 5 minutes just so you can get the “reply” window to open Haven’t we all? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-doper-if-you/289694/14 "2005-02-12T15:12:34Z")
. . . you realize from a previous post that your keyboard might be a **scalar** weapon. . . . you think it’s about time for another Doper Photo thread/page. Tripler Actually, it _is_ time for another photo thread. ---
**Author:** ![congodwarf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@congodwarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/congodwarf)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-doper-if-you/289694/15 "2005-02-12T15:27:01Z")
You might be a Doper if while writing an essay for a college history final, you WRITE out (insert sarcastic smilie here). Yes, I did do this today. No, I didn’t leave it there. 😃 You might also be a Doper if you crack up during said final exam and immediatly think, I have to post that on the You Might be a Doper thread. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-doper-if-you/289694/16 "2005-02-12T15:52:28Z")
You might be a Doper if you see usernames in everyday media (books, TV, movies, posters, etc.) and crack up hysterically while your friends stare at you. Yes, this has happened… ---
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-doper-if-you/289694/17 "2005-02-12T17:22:33Z")
… you know exactly how many times man has visited the deepest part of the ocean, when, and for how long. … every time you see a news report of someone dying, your first thought is “Damn, that’s 18 points I could have had!” ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-doper-if-you/289694/18 "2005-02-12T17:39:07Z")
Often while watching the news, I’ll see a tidbit from someplace and realize that I know nothing whatsoever about that place’s history, culture, economy, etc., but I can name like five Dopers who live there. ---
**Author:** ![wolfstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d6d6ee/32.png) [@wolfstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfstu)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-doper-if-you/289694/19 "2005-02-12T18:31:22Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > You might be a Doper if you see usernames in everyday media (books, TV, movies, posters, etc.) and crack up hysterically while your friends stare at you. > > Yes, this has happened… I’ve SO done this. I took a class called “Energy Conversion” and they were telling me how “Anthracite” is the most awesome of the coals. I’m trying to remember some of the other cases… ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-doper-if-you/289694/20 "2005-02-12T18:49:27Z")
…if you post threads and replies at 3:00 a.m. …if there is mention of “tonsil stones” IRL and you go " 😃 " [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-doper-if-you/289694.md?page=2)