# You Might Be A Geek If ............... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 24, 2003, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921 "2003-04-24T18:49:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/1 "2003-04-24T18:49:38Z")
Don’t you just amaze yourself sometimes? I was getting a piece of baloney out of a multi-pack of lunchmeat yesterday. The baloney was in between the turkey and ham so it was kinda difficult to pull out without tearing it. Honest to OG, this is what I thought to my self: _“Ain’t got much tensile strength, does it?”_ :dubious: Please tell me that normal people don’t think things like that. Another thought I had one time: I was looking for the last roll of paper towels in the cabinet. I had a new 4-pack but I didn’t want to open them if I had one left from before. I thought to myself: _“Where’s the existing roll?”_ :smack: ---
**Author:** ![KeithT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e47774/32.png) [@KeithT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KeithT)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/2 "2003-04-24T19:04:48Z")
… you’re at a concert, the bassist hits a note you can feel through your body and you think, “Cool. That’s the natural frequency of my chest.” … you see nothing dirty about shafting, lubrication, and power screws; after all, they’re machine components. … you estimate the time to cook a roast by first assuming it is a sphere. ---
**Author:** ![VenusProbe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e495f1/32.png) [@VenusProbe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VenusProbe)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/3 "2003-04-24T19:15:20Z")
Oh man, I do those kind of things all the time! But then again, I’m a geek of all trades. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/4 "2003-04-24T19:19:57Z")
…you dream about sitting in on National Security Council meetings. …your idea of a hot date is a discussion of the prospects for the democratization of China. …you’re on a first-name basis with most of your political science professors. …you honestly can’t understand why your friends don’t want to go to a lecture by the former ambassador to Saudi Arabia in the middle of a beautiful spring day. …you use the words “traditionalism”, “deterrence”, “compellence”, “vital interests”, and “fungible” in everyday speech. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/5 "2003-04-24T19:26:22Z")
…your plan for getting a one-night stand involves circulating at dances/clubs/parties and noting the locations, mannerisms, clothing styles, and other factors that seem to aid in the efforts of other men to elicit sexual behavior from women, and then trying to use that data to generate some general principles for use in picking up women. If you _enjoy_ doing this, then you’re _really_ a geek. Yes, I know I already posted for “political science geek” - but I’m also interesting in this sort of thing, the fields are closely related - and I need to get my post count up. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/6 "2003-04-24T19:50:51Z")
…You get an email with the title “Hard driving studs” and you think it’s about guys upgrading their HDDs. …You debug the directions on a bottle of shampoo to include an IF statement. …You’re watching a crappy TV show and you look for the DEL key on the remote. ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/7 "2003-04-24T20:11:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KeithT \* > \*\*… you estimate the time to cook a roast by first assuming it is a sphere. \*\* OMG! This -exact- subject came up at Thanksgiving about 4 years ago, and since then, every year, the ‘Spherical turkey’ joke comes out of the woodwork while folks are enjoying the cranberries and stuffing! ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/8 "2003-04-24T20:41:48Z")
You check Slashdot, the Thinkgeek, and The Register first thing every morning as soon as you get into work. You know it’s gonna be a good day if there’s a new episode of BOFH posted. ---
**Author:** ![Nichol\_storm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Nichol\_storm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nichol_storm)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/9 "2003-04-24T22:45:37Z")
Your best date ever consisted of staying up till 2 o’clock in the morning debating the merits of communism. You think Abdullah Abdullah, the Afghani foreign minister, is really hot. When given a choice between watching Eminem’s “8 Mile” or a new mini-series on Napoleon, you opt to watch the Napoleon mini. .:Nichol:. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/10 "2003-04-24T23:12:45Z")
You laugh at the OP on the tensile strength of bologna. ---
**Author:** ![Ryan\_Liam](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ryan_liam/32/3965_2.png) [@Ryan\_Liam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ryan_Liam)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/11 "2003-04-24T23:15:06Z")
You have an online relationship and then get blown off…even in cyberspace I suck \ ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/12 "2003-04-24T23:17:44Z")
You think the following is funny: > [@](#): > > There are 10 kinds of people in the world; those who understand binary, and those who don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Saltire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saltire/32/553_2.png) [@Saltire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saltire)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/13 "2003-04-24T23:26:31Z")
Mr. McClure, that is freakin’ hilarious. Among my circle of friends, there’s no question weather any of us are geeks, it’s just how many different kinds of geek each of us are: Trek geek, computer geek, medieval geek, science geek,…The list just goes on and on. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/14 "2003-04-25T00:03:23Z")
Your fingers automatically assume the Ctrl-Alt-Delete triad without needing any active thought as to where those keys are. You have the IPs for five printers and three file servers memorized. You have a file cabinet full of mice, LAN cables, keyboards, spare NICs and security tokens. None of them are in 100% working order. ---
**Author:** ![Canadagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Canadagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadagirl)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/15 "2003-04-25T00:05:14Z")
You have something to post in this thread ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/16 "2003-04-25T00:25:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Troy McClure SF \* > \*\*You think the following is funny: \*\* I had just started working at a computer shop and was trying to get to know my coworkers. One of them had this exact sign on his office door so, deciding to use this as an icebreaker, I smiled and I said “I like that sign on your door” Him: What sign on my door? (Note that this sign was the ONLY thing on his door) Me: You know, “There are two types of people in the world…” Him: ::confused look:: At this point, still trying to hold a smile, I turned around and pointed at the sign. Him: Oh. That says ten. “There are _ten_ types of people in the world…” I turned and slowly walked away. . . ---
**Author:** ![Katisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bcef8e/32.png) [@Katisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katisha)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/17 "2003-04-25T00:34:18Z")
…you see a sign near the freeway that reads “MOWERS AHEAD” and instantly think of Andrew Marvell. …you use phrases like “symbolic self-emasculation” in casual conversation. …you’ve been to a Shakespeare performance and spotted all the cuts. Or, worse yet, recognized it when the actors used a Folio reading rather than a quarto reading. …you’ve read Spenser and enjoyed it. …you’ve read Joyce and enjoyed it. …you’ve read Derrida and enjoyed it. …one of your ambitions is to edit an Arden edition. ---
**Author:** ![Bearflag70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/18 "2003-04-25T01:07:12Z")
1. You are fascinated by reading the history of the state highway system 2. In your free time, you read two state history texts simultaneously in case one book neglects to cover something in satisfactory detail 3. You do independent research on a particular issue the state history texts seemed to gloss over just because you’re curious (e.g., why the state boundary was put THERE) 4. You enjoy reading about state land use patterns 5. You think visiting Fresno would actually be fun, just to go see what it’s like 6. You’ve read over the inaugural addresses of every governor 7. You cried tears of joy when you first walked into the Golden State Museum 8. Your user name is based upon the state flag ---
**Author:** ![JustJoan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/50afbb/32.png) [@JustJoan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustJoan)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/19 "2003-04-25T01:32:30Z")
You might be a geek if the computer breaks and everyone asks the 10-year-old to fix it but the kid points to you instead. ---
**Author:** ![JamesCarroll](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@JamesCarroll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JamesCarroll)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/20 "2003-04-25T01:44:15Z")
You correct other peoples memos and various writings because you can’t help compiling/ debugging even the English language in your head When hand writing notes, you end complete thoughts with a semi colon (C/C++ and Java programmers). You also tend to indent alot. When buying a new computer you buy the highest end game playing machine, but never play any games because… You run Windows Advanced Server, at least 3 databases(SQL Server, Oracle, mySQL), 2 web servers (IIS, Apache), and a few middleware servers on your “just playing around” machine. When you ask someone a question you say “Query:” You think code is “elegant” You get paid to misspell words and abuse punctuation “Hello World” was your first program; you dream that “Run World” will be your last [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921.md?page=2)