# You Might Be A Geek If ............... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 24, 2003, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921 "2003-04-24T18:49:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![garius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e19b73/32.png) [@garius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garius)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/61 "2003-04-25T21:36:43Z")
you spoil the end of _Captain Corelli’s Mandelin_ for your girlfriend because you keep bitching about the way the Stuka Bombers are behaving. ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/62 "2003-04-25T22:07:57Z")
You’ve written the following line to take a quick nap: “sleep -300 ; echo ^G” You’ve used “grep” as a synonym for search - in a non-computer-related conversation You know how the names “grep”, “awk” and “biff” came about. You have WinVi on your computer at home as your preferred ascii editor. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/63 "2003-04-26T01:13:03Z")
You might be a geek if you: Once worked out a proof that a polynomial in x is divisible by x-1 if the sum of the coefficients is divisible by x-1…and you were a literature major in college. Have a watch with a tiny calendar dial, and you wonder how the linear velocity of the end of the month-hand compares with those of the minute- and hour-hands. (I haven’t worked it out yet, though). ---
**Author:** ![Seldon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seldon)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/64 "2003-04-26T01:20:01Z")
You know you’re a science/math geek if… You don’t bother memorizing your equations for chem/physics because you can figure out how to get the answer during the test. You see shapes in real life and think, “oh, that’s tetragonal” instead of rectangular You’re a military geek if… You’ve been out of the military for years but still tell time using the 24 hour system. You walk in step with everyone–but don’t mean to. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/65 "2003-04-26T02:08:11Z")
… you find yourself saying “Cool!” outloud way too often when browsing ThinkGeek. … you have said aloud “Slash me laughs!”. … you have an extensive collection of t-shirts with domain names on them. … you use more than three kinds of technology to communicate with your SO during the course of a day … you have his-and-hers domain names, and even your pets have their own website … your phone and your television are increasingly becoming encrusted with dust as your computer becomes both your preferred method of communication and entertainmet … you’ve never met half a dozen of your best friends … you just can’t get enough binary jokes ---
**Author:** ![Severian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@Severian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Severian)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/66 "2003-04-26T02:48:21Z")
More computer geek indicators: …Your web favorites include [www.arin.net](http://www.arin.net), [www.cert.org](http://www.cert.org), and [www.iana.org](http://www.iana.org). …You can send an email message by typing _telnet [mail.host.com](http://mail.host.com) 25_. …You know exactly how many processes should be resident in memory on a clean boot of your system. …65536 seems like a nice round number to you. ---
**Author:** ![ladybug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/46a35a/32.png) [@ladybug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladybug)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/67 "2003-04-26T03:03:51Z")
… You’re the only person in your office who knows the universal greeting. Bah weep granah weep ninni bong! ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/68 "2003-04-26T03:34:19Z")
You know you’re an SDMB geek when you star vB-coding work-related legal documents. (I swear I did this yesterday. Luckily I realized it before my boss reviewed it.) You know you’re a Russia geek when you can name every single ethnic group in the North Caucasus, in Russian. (There are several dozen of them. Most native Russian speakers have never heard of most of them.) ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/69 "2003-04-26T03:39:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gotpasswords \* > \*\*You have a file cabinet full of mice, LAN cables, keyboards, spare NICs and security tokens. None of them are in 100% working order. \*\* What filing cabinet ? My roommates **two** desktops are covered with that stuff. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/70 "2003-04-26T04:22:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Spectre of Pithecanthropus \* > **Once worked out a proof that a polynomial in x is divisible by x-1 if the sum of the coefficients is divisible by x-1…and you were a literature major in college.** I think you meant 0 instead of the second x - 1. I proved this in my head about an hour after reading this thread, while playing Legend of Zelda on an 8-bit NES emulator. But I’m not a geek. ---
**Author:** ![Crakmine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Crakmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crakmine)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/71 "2003-04-26T04:33:42Z")
Ok, I almost didn’t post this because Tarrsk has one pretty close to it but, I seriously do this -When you make a spelling or grammatical error while writing you try to ‘backspace’ (I’ve honestly looked at a piece of paper for a couple minutes and then finally realized I was looking for a backspace key) ---
**Author:** ![TVGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/82dd89/32.png) [@TVGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/72 "2003-04-26T06:01:17Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Vanilla Toast \* > \*\*\* You consider a domain name to be a valid birthday gift._\* OK, I’m still laughing at this one - especially the fact that one would apply the word “valid” to any birthday gift 🙂 The “FEATURE” license plate is going to make me titter for the next week at least. From my world - TV Engineering Geek You find youself getting angry when the non-tech people confuse “tower”, “antenna” and “transmitter”. You think that two-inch videotape represented the zenith of modern analog recording technology and that everything since is a compromise. You strive to create the perfect transmitter maintenance log sheet. You can _HEAR_ out-of-phase audio and have no idea why everyone can’t. You figure that it will be easier for operators to find a particular satellite by posting digital pictures of the L-Band spectrum output for each satellite taken from a reference antenna. You have two TV tuner cards installed in your PC at work - one for cable, one for over-the-air. You laugh hysterically at what the newsroom thinks is “important breaking news” You build and engineer multi-million dollar digital television studio facilities, but the TV in your own living room is the same 19" Sony Trinitron you’ve had since college (hey, it works great) and you tune stations through your VCR - and you don’t have cable or satellite. You are absolutely convinced that Beta was much better than VHS, can prove it with an oscilloscope and feel you can also prove that VHS was a consumer equipment manufacturer’s conspiracy to foist crap on to the unsuspecting public. You work very hard to maintain your DTV transmitters knowing that very few people are actually watching, but loving the fact that you’ve got your own private 1 megawatt play-toy on the mountain. You never take a vacation in February, May, July or November. … and you’re majorly pathetic if you AGREE with that one and think it’s good company policy. You call everyone who works in front of a camera by the noun “talent” regardless of how much they actually have. You use your VPN connection to check up on the video server from home - and watch the latest commercials via low-res browse. You have any or all of the following in your office: - Red obstruction beacon from the tower - Old burned out thyratron tube from the transmitter crowbar assembly - Photographs of microwave relay sites. Framed. In mahogany and leather. - Professional certifications and memberships in things likle SBE and SMPTE. Framed. In mahogany and leather. - A three-foot high stack of catalogs from video and audio equipment manufacturers. - two dead microphones, an old camera lens, a container of miscellaneous audio, video and RF connectors, a black and white Polaroid scope camera and an 18 inch galvanized bolt from the last antenna change - and you think it’s about the coolest souvenier you’ve got. ---
**Author:** ![phraser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a88e4f/32.png) [@phraser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phraser)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/73 "2003-04-26T07:21:16Z")
… you actually still use telnet to check your email multiple times a day … you bounce all your webmail (hotmail, etc) to the account you can check using telnet … you have a .user file on your server and chat on irc through a telnet window … you can’t understand why anyone would want to use windows when they can get digital unix free from their school ---
**Author:** ![LtningBug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/73ab20/32.png) [@LtningBug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LtningBug)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/74 "2003-04-26T08:00:00Z")
Q.E.D. says > [@](#): > > …You debug the directions on a bottle of shampoo to include an IF statement. No! I will NOT repeat!!! 🙂 One more sign of an engineer geek: … you spend time determining the most efficient path to take to get from any point in your office building to any other point. ---
**Author:** ![nevermore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a587f6/32.png) [@nevermore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nevermore)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/75 "2003-04-26T11:54:01Z")
…your most common complaint about a movie is “There wasn’t enough blood.” …you have already purchased tickets to “The Matrix Reloaded” for THE day it comes out, and your eyelid and shoulderblade involuntarily twitch when you think about it. …you call your animal “Poopy,” even as a nickname, and carry it around like an infant. …you watch any TV show for the sole purpose of making fun of it. (The Real World…it’s just too easy, OK?) …you constantly get stares from people in cars next to you as your white ass raps along with “Take It Off Trick” in your '96 Camry. …you have ever read even just ONE thing by Piers Anthony. …you think Dexter’s Laboratory and Powerpuff Girls are a riot. …you actually take the time to (re-)refute each individual piece of ignominious anti-evolutionist tripe sent to you by some obtuse denialist who won’t read it past the first line …you have an irrational fear of ventriloquist dummies, and of leaving the closet door open when you go to sleep. …you regularly visit [homestarrunner.com](http://homestarrunner.com). …you are an honorary member of the Rocky Horror Picture Show Fan Club, and proudly boast a keychain of Tim Curry in drag with the phrase “I’m Just A Sweet Transvestite.” …it’s in your genes. (thanks, **hardcore** …it’s one of your better traits.) ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/76 "2003-04-26T18:10:38Z")
You may be a martial arts geek if… \*Your friends won’t see action movies with you because you critique the fight scenes too much. (Why on earth would you twist like that! Hey, he shouldn’t have locked his knee like that!..) \*2-on-1 sparring is fun. \*Tiger Balm has replaced toothpaste as ‘most valuable cream’. \*You don’t understand why you can only kick below the belt in soccer. \*When putting on a bathrobe, you instinctively tie a square knot. \*You turn to face the back of the room if you need to adjust your clothes. \*You bow to your gym teacher at school. \*You bow going in and out of your classrooms/office/etc. \*Getting kicked in the head isn’t bad, it’s a learning experience. \*Your idea of fun on Friday night is going and working out. \*said workout includes sparring. \*Said sparring includes 2-on-1 sparring against 2 higher belts. \*Said sparring is still fun. You may be an IB geek if… \*You completely understand the following: IB = HL, SL, LA, LB, ToK, EE, P1, P2, P3…FU! \*You carry a TI-83 and palm pilot. Always. \*The SAT/ACT was easy. \*You understand why ToK is amazingly fun yet also gives you a headache. \*You do EE research for fun. \*You’re on a first-name-basis with the librarian at school. \*Your away message on AIM includes a math/chem/physics equation, is in a foreign language, and/or has a link to ibscrewed. \*your start page is [ibscrewed.com](http://ibscrewed.com) \*“It’s not cheating, it’s creativity!” \*“Does gym class count towards CAS?” \*“Does coming up with a reason why you cut gym to work on your history practice paper 3 count towards CAS?” \*It’s not an exam. It’s a paper. \*The last time you got an assignment without a rubric, you were utterly perplexed. \*IB, therefore, IBS is still funny. \*Graduating doesn’t matter, getting your diploma does. \*If you can’t get the answer in math, you just end up writing ‘7’ on the paper. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/77 "2003-04-26T20:54:15Z")
If you laugh at a liscense plate frame that says “Will Work for Bandwidth” (which would go quite well with the VW). ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/78 "2003-04-26T21:05:30Z")
**You Might Be A Geek If …** Oh please. You’re a geek if you’re reading this thread. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/79 "2003-04-26T21:57:04Z")
Including you, **Gingy**? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921/80 "2003-04-26T22:35:36Z")
Of course including me! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-geek-if/170921.md?page=5)