# You Might Be A Redneck? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 29, 2022, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-redneck/972479 "2022-09-29T22:23:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2022, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-redneck/972479/1 "2022-09-29T22:23:11Z")
Jeff Foxworthy was pretty popular two decades ago, when this was last discussed as far as I know. Was driving home when he came on the radio. Said these ones… anyway, I thought they were funny. I hadn’t heard them. You might be a redneck if… A) you spend all day in the kitchen since the box of juice said concentrate B) the biggest city you’ve ever visited is Wal-Mart C) you’ve used a toilet brush as a backscratcher Are these dated? Offensive? Know any others you find particularly funny? ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2022, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-redneck/972479/2 "2022-09-29T22:29:02Z")
If your salad bowl says Cool Whip, you might be a redneck. ---
**Author:** ![california\_jobcase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@california\_jobcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/california_jobcase)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2022, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-redneck/972479/3 "2022-09-29T22:35:25Z")
If you check your kid out early from school to attend the grand opening of the new Walmart Neighborhood Market, you might be a redneck. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2022, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-redneck/972479/4 "2022-09-29T22:37:16Z")
If your car is the colour Bondo… ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2022, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-redneck/972479/5 "2022-09-29T23:44:15Z")
Only one of his jokes ever made me more than crack a smile: “You might be a redneck if you’ve ever had to haul a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister’s honor.” ---
**Author:** ![teelabrown](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/teelabrown/32/8412_2.png) [@teelabrown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teelabrown)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2022, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-redneck/972479/6 "2022-09-29T23:51:26Z")
I liked: If you cut your grass and you find a car . . . and If your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture . . . ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2022, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-redneck/972479/7 "2022-09-29T23:52:43Z")
> [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > “You might be a redneck if you’ve ever had to haul a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister’s honor.” My brain apparently isn’t working today. What does this mean? ---
**Author:** ![Tarataratara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Tarataratara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tarataratara)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2022, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-redneck/972479/8 "2022-09-30T00:04:04Z")
I had to laugh at myself when one applied to me: if your working TV is on top of your nonworking TV. ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2022, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-redneck/972479/9 "2022-09-30T00:11:05Z")
It means someone wrote something scurrilous about your sister on the water tower, so you’re going paint over it. Guess you’re not a redneck ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2022, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-redneck/972479/10 "2022-09-30T00:21:31Z")
If your porch has ever collapsed and killed at least three dogs… ---
**Author:** ![bordelond](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bordelond/32/150_2.png) [@bordelond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bordelond)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2022, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-redneck/972479/11 "2022-09-30T00:22:36Z")
I get to post my favorite one … If your mother does not remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the state patrolman to kiss her ass - you might be a redneck. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2022, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-redneck/972479/12 "2022-09-30T01:06:36Z")
If you smoke while your bride is walking down the aisle. ---
**Author:** ![Asuka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dec6dc/32.png) [@Asuka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asuka)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2022, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-redneck/972479/13 "2022-09-30T01:07:05Z")
There was a good Mad subversion of the jokes I still remember. “You might be a redneck if you have multiple cars on blocks on your lawn” “But you’re just poor white trash if you got multiple people living in them!” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2022, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-redneck/972479/14 "2022-09-30T01:09:42Z")
If instead of a flyswatter, you have a TWENNY-two. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2022, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-redneck/972479/15 "2022-09-30T01:23:51Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > If you smoke while your bride is walking down the aisle. - If you have Skoal Bandits on the place settings for the guests. (Which I overheard being discussed at the gym many years ago.) ---
**Author:** ![Drum\_God](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drum_god/32/44_2.png) [@Drum\_God](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drum_God)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2022, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-redneck/972479/16 "2022-09-30T03:51:00Z")
If you attend family reunions to meet women… ---
**Author:** ![dorvann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/df705f/32.png) [@dorvann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dorvann)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2022, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-redneck/972479/17 "2022-09-30T04:00:24Z")
You might be a redneck if your garage is bigger than your mobile home. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2022, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-redneck/972479/18 "2022-09-30T08:04:50Z")
You serve roadkill at funerals and wedding receptions. ---
**Author:** ![Mike\_Mabes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mike_mabes/32/1782_2.png) [@Mike\_Mabes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mike_Mabes)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2022, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-redneck/972479/19 "2022-09-30T08:22:53Z")
if your working TV sits on top of a non-working TV… ---
**Author:** ![Petek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/petek/32/1590_2.png) [@Petek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Petek)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2022, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-redneck/972479/20 "2022-09-30T08:50:22Z")
If your granma has “ammo” on her Christmas list. If you have at least three cousins whose last words were “Hey y’all, watch this.” If when you take your dog for a walk, you both use the same tree. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-might-be-a-redneck/972479.md?page=2)