# You must save your loved ones from grisly death one at a time. Do you know who's first? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 26, 2011, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-must-save-your-loved-ones-from-grisly-death-one-at-a-time-do-you-know-whos-first/594243 "2011-08-26T23:41:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2011, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-must-save-your-loved-ones-from-grisly-death-one-at-a-time-do-you-know-whos-first/594243/61 "2011-08-30T19:50:54Z")
> [@Gedd](#): > > What a revealing moment; my first though was “Save my wife first, we can have more kids.” (Does that make me evil?) My kid are 2.5 yrs and 3 months so they would be 2 & 3 in that order. Then the parents; they’ve had good long lives, right? Dude, if you let both her children die when you could have saved at least one, your wife is going to kill you. ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2011, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-must-save-your-loved-ones-from-grisly-death-one-at-a-time-do-you-know-whos-first/594243/62 "2011-08-30T21:04:55Z")
Youngest to oldest, humans before animals. They would understand my reasoning…well, except the dog. ---
**Author:** ![chizzuk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@chizzuk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chizzuk)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2011, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-must-save-your-loved-ones-from-grisly-death-one-at-a-time-do-you-know-whos-first/594243/63 "2011-08-30T21:16:53Z")
My younger brother, then my mom, then my dad. My brother is only 21 and my parents would absolutely freak out and probably refuse to be rescued if he were still in the water. Then I’d save my mom because my dad is stronger and can hold out longer. Then I’d go back for Dad. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2011, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-must-save-your-loved-ones-from-grisly-death-one-at-a-time-do-you-know-whos-first/594243/64 "2011-08-31T14:56:32Z")
I picked two options because my choice is between them. And I would only possibly feel bad if someone didn’t make it. The hesitation depends on the number of loved ones and the amount of time, as well as if a certain person is among them or not. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2011, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-must-save-your-loved-ones-from-grisly-death-one-at-a-time-do-you-know-whos-first/594243/65 "2011-08-31T20:03:39Z")
> [@](#): > > Don’t they just count as friends? My third & fourth choices are no relation to me. (They’re also the ones who would give me the most trouble choosing between.) No, family members other than the ones you specified. To be more precise, my sister’s children. ---
**Author:** ![Ura-Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/51bf81/32.png) [@Ura-Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ura-Maru)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2011, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-must-save-your-loved-ones-from-grisly-death-one-at-a-time-do-you-know-whos-first/594243/66 "2011-08-31T21:05:34Z")
If you can’t stand to make the choice, you could always teleport the SHARKS out. You’ll likely lose the same number of people, but it will have been in descending order of relative tastiness. That might lessen the guilt somewhat. – For maximum manliness, you’d set it to teleport out the sharks automaticaly, then jump in the water to fight off the sharks with a combination of pro wrestling moves and a pipe wrench. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2011, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-must-save-your-loved-ones-from-grisly-death-one-at-a-time-do-you-know-whos-first/594243/67 "2011-08-31T21:17:44Z")
> [@Ura-Maru](#): > > If you can’t stand to make the choice, you could always teleport the SHARKS out. You’ll likely lose the same number of people, but it will have been in descending order of relative tastiness. That might lessen the guilt somewhat. > > – > For maximum manliness, you’d set it to teleport out the sharks automaticaly, then jump in the water to fight off the sharks with a combination of pro wrestling moves and a pipe wrench. The problem with that approach is that, as **Oak** pointed out early on, people bound and gagged and in the water are going to start drowning quickly; and as **I** pointed out, the transporter pad, as described, is going to require you to clear it between transports. And sharks are heavy. Your solution probably gets your loved ones killed too. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2011, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-must-save-your-loved-ones-from-grisly-death-one-at-a-time-do-you-know-whos-first/594243/68 "2011-08-31T21:22:00Z")
Can’t we just beam out all the sharks? Or beam in with a phaser? Or beam the water out of the tank. I’m glad we’re using a transporter. I would change the order if I had to lift them myself. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2011, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-must-save-your-loved-ones-from-grisly-death-one-at-a-time-do-you-know-whos-first/594243/69 "2011-08-31T21:37:33Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > Can’t we just beam out all the sharks? It’s a _Star Trek: Enterprise_ era transporter, which can do only one person at a time and takes many seconds on each cycle. This is on purpose. If it was a NextGen transporter, there’d be no conflict. It’s the same reason you’re asked to imagine yourself with MacGuyver’s talents in the scenario rather than Aquaman’s. ---
**Author:** ![Ura-Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/51bf81/32.png) [@Ura-Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ura-Maru)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2011, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-must-save-your-loved-ones-from-grisly-death-one-at-a-time-do-you-know-whos-first/594243/70 "2011-08-31T21:57:14Z")
True, I missed post 5. I’d imagine, however, that the sharks would start flopping around comedically once they got dropped on the pad, jumping up to about face level and biting the air. They’d probably clear themselves off long before the cycle was ready to run again. Unless they broke the round yellow part on the bottom. Is that a crucial part of transporter technology? Since I’m McGuyvering, can I start by teleporting something in that would produce a mild electric current, which would distract and confuse the sharks, without causing lasting harm to the victims? Or perhaps some kind of concussive attack that would stun the sharks? Pity you don’t have the bad guy already. You could teleport him in, and rely on shark’s well known sense of poetic justice to assume they’d target him first. Then you’d say something like ‘He always did have **good taste**.’ and you could fish out the loved ones at your leasure. Probably in montage format, set to something by _ **Journey.** _ – Because if I’m forced to play by the rules as dictated, I’d have to admit that a) there would be a depressingly small number of hostages, and b) the ones I’d be expected to save first are the one’s I’d prefer to save last, and c) I’d save the ones I’m expected to save first anyway, because I’m a pussy. All three of those thoughts are profoundly depressing. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2011, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-must-save-your-loved-ones-from-grisly-death-one-at-a-time-do-you-know-whos-first/594243/71 "2011-09-01T00:11:03Z")
My partner first, no question. Then the cats. Yes, I have a favorite, but I won’t say which, in case they read this. Then my partner’s dogs. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2011, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-must-save-your-loved-ones-from-grisly-death-one-at-a-time-do-you-know-whos-first/594243/72 "2011-09-01T00:28:56Z")
> [@Foxy40](#): > > I’d save my daughter over my son even though I would feel bad afterwards. Simply because he is an adult and she’s more vulnerable. Can I just push in my husband to distract the sharks and save both my kids? 😃 Excellent answer. ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2011, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-must-save-your-loved-ones-from-grisly-death-one-at-a-time-do-you-know-whos-first/594243/73 "2011-09-01T01:21:21Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > And sharks are heavy. Shark brains aren’t. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2011, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-must-save-your-loved-ones-from-grisly-death-one-at-a-time-do-you-know-whos-first/594243/74 "2011-09-01T14:30:50Z")
Beam out the tank. And btw by TOS they were beaming more than one person at a time. If you beaming the sharks, nothing says you have to beam them to the pad. You can put them back in their native habitat, or space, whichever. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2011, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-must-save-your-loved-ones-from-grisly-death-one-at-a-time-do-you-know-whos-first/594243/75 "2011-09-01T14:38:02Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > Beam out the tank. > > And btw by TOS they were beaming more than one person at a time. I didn’t write TOS. I wrote ENTERPRISE, as in the Scott Bakula series. I agree that Kirk’s transporters could have effected the rescue easily, and Picard’s could probably have gotten fancy and removed the shark brains. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2011, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-must-save-your-loved-ones-from-grisly-death-one-at-a-time-do-you-know-whos-first/594243/76 "2011-09-01T15:28:15Z")
> [@SciFiSam](#): > > This is where being a single parent of an only child makes life simple. Stole my answer. 😉 I started to click the “I only love one human” button, but that’s not true. I have nephews, and it’d kill me to see one of them hurt, but Celtling first just goes without saying. Nephews next. Mom and Bro can exercise their dysunction to keep the sharks unmotivated and depressed until I get to them. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-must-save-your-loved-ones-from-grisly-death-one-at-a-time-do-you-know-whos-first/594243/77 "2011-10-10T12:49:32Z")
Didn’t see this poll before - I voted “I’d hesitate at first, but I’d choose” - child, wife, anyone else, in that order. Not because I love my child more, but because if I save the wife first and not the child, my life is measurable in milliseconds… ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-must-save-your-loved-ones-from-grisly-death-one-at-a-time-do-you-know-whos-first/594243/78 "2011-10-10T13:00:16Z")
I’m tempted to beam out a chunk of the tank to drain off the water, but I’m not sure that leaving my loved ones atop a pile of huge thrashing bitey sharks is an improvement. Playing it straight, daughter first then wife. Not sure about the rest of the family but I’d have to see how it was going by then. Probably nieces and nephews. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-must-save-your-loved-ones-from-grisly-death-one-at-a-time-do-you-know-whos-first/594243/79 "2011-10-10T18:04:30Z")
Everyone in the family would agree that Granddaughter comes first. But I’d feel bad afterward, not because I saved her first, but because of anyone else I wasn’t able to save. The next two would be my daughters, but it would be difficult to impossible to decide between them. I know which one would elbow her way to the front of the line, though. Husband and son-in-law come last. There’s a dilemma – husband is old, like me, so has fewer years left anyway, and of course granddaughter needs her daddy. But I’m more than a little bit fond of the old guy after close to 50 years together. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-must-save-your-loved-ones-from-grisly-death-one-at-a-time-do-you-know-whos-first/594243/80 "2011-10-11T00:36:20Z")
I have only loved one, so it’s an easy choice. But I don’t do public polls so didn’t vote. (And those other 10,000 can _still_ all drop dead.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-must-save-your-loved-ones-from-grisly-death-one-at-a-time-do-you-know-whos-first/594243.md?page=3)