# You named your kid WHAT!?! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 9, 2001, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-named-your-kid-what/86305 "2001-10-09T11:18:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![evilskippy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@evilskippy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilskippy)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-named-your-kid-what/86305/81 "2001-10-10T15:46:16Z")
Friends of a friend named their son Steel. (not too bad) They plan on naming their next son Titanium. (Tit?) They named thier daughter Sapphire Blue. Also, other friends neighbors have daughters Chablis, Chardonny, Champaigne and Merlot. What are some people thinking? šŸ˜• ---
**Author:** ![Iguana\_Boy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@Iguana\_Boy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iguana_Boy)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-named-your-kid-what/86305/82 "2001-10-10T16:29:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by evilskippy \* > \*\*Friends of a friend named their son Steel. (not too bad) They plan on naming their next son Titanium. (Tit?) They named thier daughter Sapphire Blue. Also, other friends neighbors have daughters Chablis, Chardonny, Champaigne and Merlot. What are some people thinking? šŸ˜• \*\* Are they, by any chance, fans of the 1970ā€™s UK TV show **Sapphire and Steel** starring **David McCallum** (Ilya Kurakin in The Man From Uncle) and **Joanna Lumley**? It wasnā€™t a very good showā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-named-your-kid-what/86305/83 "2001-10-10T16:43:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by evilskippy \* > \*\* Also, other friends neighbors have daughters Chablis, Chardonny, Champaigne and Merlot. What are some people thinking? šŸ˜• \*\* I donā€™t know what they were THINKING, but I can guess what theyā€™ve been DRINKINGā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-named-your-kid-what/86305/84 "2001-10-10T17:56:17Z")
I donā€™t remember this poor guys last name, but his first name - really - is: \*\*Conway Twitty \*\*ā€œSmithā€. He goes by Bucky. What were his parentā€™s thinking? Along the same lines, I was reading an article on the teenage actress named **Poppy** Montgomery. (She starred as Marilyn Monroe in a made for TV movie last year.) All the girls in her family are named after fairies, none of which I can remember, but all of them are just silly. The reason I forgot about all of their names is because she has one brother. ā€¦named after her parents favorite rock and roll bandā€¦brace yourselves: \*\*Jethro Tull \*\* is his name. AIGGH! ---
**Author:** ![Halfpint](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/f0a364/32.png) [@Halfpint](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Halfpint)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-named-your-kid-what/86305/85 "2001-10-10T18:55:17Z")
> [@](#): > > There is someone in Edinburgh, Scotland, whose name is Richard Head. Oh, that I were making that up - poor guy! Youā€™ve just reminded me - one of my former staff was called Ivor Blewett - Ivor Dick Blewett to give him his full name. And I once knew a kid called Matthew Matthews. šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![Voorvie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/22d042/32.png) [@Voorvie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voorvie)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-named-your-kid-what/86305/86 "2001-10-10T20:53:15Z")
A friend of mine used to be a Hospital Administrator. She saw some doozies! The ones I most remember were 2 boys, twins: Lemonjello (pronounced Luh-mon-gel-low) Orangejello (pronounced O-ron-gel-low) so so sadā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Apollyon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/apollyon/32/4238_2.png) [@Apollyon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apollyon)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-named-your-kid-what/86305/87 "2001-10-10T21:51:12Z")
Found the title of the dreadful baby naming book I mentioned earlier in the thread: [Baby Names for New Zealanders (Over 12000 names).](http://www.nzbooks.com/nzbooks/product.asp?sku=AnneMatthews1864364947) I know thereā€™s not too many Kiwi Dopers out there, but if you are, and youā€™re naming a poor, innocent, defenceless baby, I urge you to avoid this book. It is, as Dorothy Parker remarked, not a book to be put aside lightly, but one that should be thrown aside with great force. Just because one can make girlā€™s names by adding an **a** suffix to some male names (_Robert_ becomes the quite acceptable _Roberta_), one shouldnā€™t necessarily follow the trend for \*Gilbert, Hubert, \* or _Englebert_ and the like. I also have serious doubts about the use of _Abaddon_ as a boyā€™s name. (ā€¦and this from someone who uses the greek form as a username). šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-named-your-kid-what/86305/88 "2001-10-10T22:09:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Baker \* > \*\*My cousin, a RN, had to talk a woman out of naming her brand new daughter(no dad around)Clitoris. The gal heard the word mentioned during her delivery and thought it sounded pretty. My cousin the nurse had to explain what the word actually meant. \*\* Sorry to burst your bubble, but [Snopes](http://www.snopes.com/spoons/fracture/names.htm) says otherwise. Worst name I know personally? I went to school with a white middle-class girl called Honey Dorey. She was just peachy keen and hunky dory. ---
**Author:** ![miamouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ad7895/32.png) [@miamouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miamouse)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-named-your-kid-what/86305/89 "2001-10-10T22:44:23Z")
I knew people named: Rainbow Sunny & Happy (sisters) And people who wanted to name their children: Diamond Hennesey Have to tell you the truth though, I went through grades K-8 with three other miamouses in my class, and I HATED it. Always been a fan of different names (anything but John, Bob, etc.) but just not ā€œDiamondā€ ??? WTF??? And my mom gave me shit about naming my son Sebastien. Give me a break. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-named-your-kid-what/86305/90 "2001-10-10T23:39:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by arachnidlove \* > \*\*I see nothing wrong with naming your kid something different as long as you give him/her an alternative name to go by if they donā€™t like it. \*\* Good theory. You kid will undoubtedly have one of those primary school teachers that will only call him/her by the name he/she is registered by. ---
**Author:** ![Nightsong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nightsong/32/3083_2.png) [@Nightsong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightsong)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-named-your-kid-what/86305/91 "2001-10-11T01:23:01Z")
Well, pity the poor guy that was attending the same (college) class as my sister: Last Name: Meoff First Name: Jack Apparently, his parents didnā€™t realize what they had done to their poor kid. And while my Sis was working at Dominoā€™s, she passed along a few names of customers: Bob Smith John Doe (First words out of her mouth were ā€˜Are you kidding me?ā€™ And the person who did the delivery reported back that yes, that was their real name, as on their driverā€™s licenseā€¦) Norman Bates (Aiie. He was named after Psycho came out, apparently.) Me personally, only ā€˜unusualā€™ name Iā€™ve come across is someone named: Kathy Kim, who married a guy with the last name Kam. And she took his last name. Uff da. I donā€™t want _those_ initials embroidered on anything! * * * \<\< Donā€™t die wondering. \>\> ---
**Author:** ![robby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robby/32/11048_2.png) [@robby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robby)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-named-your-kid-what/86305/92 "2001-10-11T02:46:03Z")
**True Story #1:** Friends of ours named the infant girl they adopted ā€œLeila Mungy Bagby.ā€ Her first name is pronounced like the princess in Star Wars. So why the extra ā€œlā€? Just want to guarantee that nobody can spell her name correctly? And what a delightful middle name! It was apparently a family name. Kind of a cross between ā€œmangyā€ and ā€œfungus.ā€ Thatā€™s one family name that should have been allowed to die out. **True Story #2:** Had a coworker named ā€œJohn Sam.ā€ His fatherā€™s first name was ā€œSam.ā€ **True Story #3:** Had a coworker named ā€œBrady Brady.ā€ Oh how clever! **True Story #4:** Participants in a mandatory training session I was in convinced our idiot instructor that there was a nonexistent employee (who supposedly was absent that day) with the last name spelled ā€œP-i-s-s-a-n-t.ā€ ā€œPiss\*\*ā€˜ **ant?" he said. ā€œNo,ā€ we replied. "He gets mad when you say that. Itā€™s pronounced "pis-sont** ā€™\*\*.ā€ This went on for the whole week. We were very amused, especially when he tried to write the person up for blowing off the training. **SNL Joke Story:** On Saturday Night Live a few years back, a wife proposes numerous baby names to her husband, who rejected them all based on how the child will be mocked in the future. The wife asks the husband if he was sensistive about his own name. ā€œOh no,ā€ he replied. Thereā€™s a knock on the door. ā€œPizza for Ass-wipe!ā€ The guy replies angrily, "Thatā€™s ā€œaz-weep\*\*ā€™\*\*ay!ā€ ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-named-your-kid-what/86305/93 "2001-10-11T02:51:00Z")
> [@](#): > > **posted by elfkin477: > Personally, I hate the recent trend of naming little girls things that used to be only boys names. Iā€™m shocked that none of our students (3-5 year olds) have trendy namesā€¦of course, since four of the ten boys have the same name, itā€™s not much betterā€¦** You should come to my school. We have girls named Wallace, Bradley, Kevyn, Tymothy, Glenn and Marke (I guess the ā€œeā€ makes it feminine). The boys all have last names as first names. We have Walker, Briggs, Brooks, Harper, Cameron, Garrett, Riley, Saunders, Pierce, Stratton, Anderson, Tuckerā€¦and on and on. šŸ˜‰ _snide remarks coming from someone else whose first name is a last nameā€¦Hey, Kinsey, this is the kettleā€¦youā€™re black!_ ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-named-your-kid-what/86305/94 "2001-10-11T03:05:27Z")
> [@](#): > > I donā€™t think that having an unusual moniker is nearly as unfortunate as having either a cutesy and/or difficult _spelling_ of the name. In day-to-day life, an unusual name can be pleasurable, but the potential practicalities of spelling it can be troublesome This is true even if you have a not-unusual-or-unique name, like I do. My name is Laura Christine. Not too tough. In daily life, I go by a nickname from my _middle_ name. And my mother decided to spell it funny. My everyday name is Cristi. _No one ever spells it right._ Ever. But I donā€™t blame them, and I donā€™t get mad about it. Itā€™s my momā€™s fault. The only explanation sheā€™s ever given me for spelling my name so differently is that ā€œit was the thing to do at the time.ā€ :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-named-your-kid-what/86305/95 "2001-10-11T03:42:54Z")
I also just remembered that one of the reservists I served with had the last name of Fuecker (FYOO-ker). I guess he had had enough of the static about it and didnā€™t want to subject any of his kids to the same, so when he got married, _he_ took his _wifeā€™s_ last name: Johnson ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-named-your-kid-what/86305/96 "2001-10-11T04:56:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SaxFace \* > \*\*Iā€™m just going to take an issue with the supposed weird spelling of ā€œAleksanderā€. All of the people with this name that I know personally spell it exactly this way. > > The shortening of this name is either to Alek or Alec (no s sound at the end). Didnā€™t you ever read ā€œThe Black Stallionā€? For you to imply that this is an ā€œunusual spellingā€ is very strange to me. > \*\* I donā€™t know where you live, but I live in Victoria, Australia. Since 1929, there have been [51 boys named Aleksander](http://www.ke.com.au/cgi-bin/texhtml?form=Names.detail&name=Aleksander&qrysex=Male&qrydecade=all) born in my state. Since 1929, there have been [9048 boys named Alexander](http://www.ke.com.au/cgi-bin/texhtml?form=Names.detail&name=Alexander&qrysex=Male&qrydecade=all) born in my state. Until last week, Iā€™d never ever seen the spelling Aleksander before. Likewise, compare [122 Aleksandras](http://www.ke.com.au/cgi-bin/texhtml?form=Names.detail&name=Aleksandra&qrysex=Female&qrydecade=all) to [5112 Alexandras](http://www.ke.com.au/cgi-bin/texhtml?form=Names.detail&name=Alexandra&qrysex=Female&qrydecade=all) I stand by my assetion that no one will ever get the spelling right. If itā€™s a spelling related to your ethnic origins, thatā€™s one thing. When John and Jane Smith-Jones do it to be ā€œcuteā€, ā€œdifferentā€ or ā€œuniqueā€, itā€™s stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-named-your-kid-what/86305/97 "2001-10-11T05:20:29Z")
I have a FOAF whose name, poor kid, is Eric Shin. ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-named-your-kid-what/86305/98 "2001-10-11T06:55:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nightsong \* > **Me personally, only ā€˜unusualā€™ name Iā€™ve come across is someone named: Kathy Kim, who married a guy with the last name Kam. And she took his last name. Uff da. I donā€™t want _those_ initials embroidered on anything!** My father and cousin both have the initials KKK. I might have joined them, too, had my mom gotten her way and named me Kristy. If we werenā€™t Asian and lived in, say, Alabama, Iā€™m sure itā€™d be a bigger deal. Also: Iā€™ve heard of a guy named Worldster. Your guess is a good as mine. ---
**Author:** ![Essured](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Essured](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Essured)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-named-your-kid-what/86305/99 "2001-10-11T07:13:46Z")
having just recently married, I get to choose between keeping my own surname (which rhymes with some very unfortunate words) or taking up my partners surname. His is European and has the sort of spelling that others canā€™t pronounce, and the sort of pronunciation that others also canā€™t spell ! I have witnessed the poor bastard have to spell his name continually. I am used to my name, (and getting in first with the jokes) and am not sure if I have the inner strength needed to spell my name for the rest of eternity, if I take his surname. Maybe we should just make up a new one and both take thatā€¦ how about ā€˜Smithā€™ ? or ā€˜Jonesā€™ ? hmmmm Fortunately, we are not going to have children, so I wont be inflicting either crappy surname on a poor defenceless childā€¦ now, which name to pickā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Damhna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@Damhna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damhna)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 9:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-named-your-kid-what/86305/100 "2001-10-11T09:02:08Z")
Christian Clotworthy , an old college chum. Hardly surprising he joined the army reallyā€¦lotta anger that boy. Also knew a girl named Rebeena once, sounds an awful lot like Ribena , a fruit juice drink here. One of my favourite names though has got to be Sadbh , its pronounced Sive and just about everyone spells it wrong [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-named-your-kid-what/86305.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-named-your-kid-what/86305.md?page=6)