# You Nameless, Faceless coward **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 7, 2003, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156 "2003-10-07T21:33:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2003, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/221 "2003-10-10T18:05:20Z")
Bad Hair, I ask you in all sincerity: Now that you’ve received five pages of advice and viable alternatives to your dilemma, which of these pieces of advice are you going to follow up on? ---
**Author:** ![Bren\_Cameron\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@Bren\_Cameron\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bren_Cameron_1)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2003, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/222 "2003-10-10T18:28:27Z")
Okay, it’s too much. Could some kind soul send me a link? Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![BottledBlondJeanie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/0ea827/32.png) [@BottledBlondJeanie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BottledBlondJeanie)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2003, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/223 "2003-10-10T18:37:01Z")
**Oreo** I was considering sending you a link, but then I noticed your location. Screw you! GO TEXAS!!! [sub]That’s a joke in case you didn’t know…I actually hate both…went to OSU for undergrad[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2003, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/224 "2003-10-10T18:41:21Z")
You know, I heard you could do a search on the live journal site for interests. I think one of the intrests is “SDMB” Don’t people from the south refer to it as Dixie? Being from the south, I bet **Maven** likes chicken. How old is **Maven** anyway? I think she’s 24 or something. I’m just sayin’. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2003, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/225 "2003-10-10T18:49:07Z")
You know, I’m with **jar** on this one. There are plenty of people out there who desperately want children, but because of the fates of the damn cosmos, it ain’t happening. Now, here’s this self-absorbed, whining, won’t-listen-to-save-her-life, bigoted, immature, drama queen who’s going to be responsible for another life and she will NOT give up her freakin’ “pleasures” to accommodate said child, no matter what the cost to the baby. And whoever mentioned that the ‘continuing to work in shitty job’ thing was for attention, they are completely right. If she’s more put upon, discriminated against and martyred, what better way to garner even more sympathy and rights to crow even more about her despicable plight? I’m sorry, but what constitutes a truly sad situation, IMHO, usually deals with terminal illnesses, homelessness, starving and war. Not the loss of cable, a Corvette, designer furniture or trips. However, maybe we’re all wrong and should take note on the way to go about things, like getting help over the phone with information that may not even be correct, adequate or necessary. My God, I’ve never been so desirous of pulling my hair out after reading someone’s posts in my life. Lastly, there are those of us here who forego having children because we’re terrified we may damage _them_. I’ve got a crap-load of issues ranging from agoraphobia and depression to being routinely suicidal and all other sorts of fun problems under the sun (like bankruptcy, a mother from hell, marital woes, etc., etc.), that I would not ever inflict upon another human of my own creation. I have no way of knowing if I’d be passing on my mental illness, so I won’t. I also don’t want to subject an innocent to all this fucked up mess, so I won’t. You, on the other hand, are just matter-of-factly not caring how you’ll affect this baby OF YOURS. It’s just a “damn kid,” I know. But you’re choosing this. You are intentionally picking material comfort and lust over well-being. Oh how incredibly fucking shallow and disgusting. I think I’ll stop reading this thread now. Good on all the Dopers who’ve honestly tried to help useless ninny. I’m touched to see so much concern and care. Then to all of us who can’t (or don’t) have children because of what life has dealt us, may karma someday do right on our behalf. Off to clear my head now. ---
**Author:** ![Tinkertoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f19dbf/32.png) [@Tinkertoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tinkertoy)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2003, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/226 "2003-10-10T18:53:11Z")
**Bren** your e-mails not listed. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2003, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/227 "2003-10-10T19:00:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by fessie \* > \*\*Sometimes I’ve felt like a freak for owning so many hand-me-downs, thrift store, scratch-n-dent, and trash picked items (people just discard the nicest outdoor furniture!). Other than our computer, I don’t think we own anything that cost us more than $150, and the vast majority of our stuff was more like $20 (or free). And we repaint & “re-purpose” things all the time. I really like the values that those choices express, and I’m glad to see that I’m not alone. \*\* We’ve picked up furniture out of the street. We were riding down a busy street with our former roommate one day and saw some nice plastic chairs out in the middle of the street. Well, I hopped out of the car, tossed em in the trunk of the car, and we split em when we got home. Looking around the living room, we have furniture from Wal-Mart (4 bookcases), Target (Entertainment center, CD holder), Office Depot (Computer desk, folding table for a computer desk), Salvation Army (VERY nice chair that was very cheap), and my own personal “Ghetto Azz Furniture Company” (A cardboard box with the flaps cut off…“Quality bookshelf fo’ yo liberry, dawg!”). Our bed was sitting by a dumpster, though we’re hoping to add some foam from Ikea at Christmas, our “dresser” is five plastic bins from K-Mart. Yea, we go for the cheap stuff. And, to be on-topic, this trainwreck is great reading. ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2003, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/228 "2003-10-10T19:04:42Z")
At the risk of earning the ire of the mods, [Here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=186091&perpage=50&highlight=IDBB%20baby&pagenumber=4) is the link to the SD trainwreck wherein she _herself_ lists her LJ url. I am assuming that since _she_ listed it and since eberyone is emailing everyone else, it is ok. ---
**Author:** ![Tinkertoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f19dbf/32.png) [@Tinkertoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tinkertoy)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2003, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/229 "2003-10-10T19:09:41Z")
She turns everything into a way to garner attention. When the baby is born she’ll use that to. Can you say “Munchausen by Proxy”? I like how she says if she can’t afford good daycare she’ll take what she can get. That conjures up some nasty visions. ---
**Author:** ![Bren\_Cameron\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@Bren\_Cameron\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bren_Cameron_1)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2003, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/230 "2003-10-10T19:12:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tinkertoy \* > \*\ ***Bren** your e-mails not listed. \*\* Woops! I’d assumed it was. It is now. The link’s posted now, and I found it, but I do thank you very much for the thought. That’s quite a brave act, not replying here, where she started the thread, but in her LJ where only some people would know to look and only LJ users can reply. Shows maturity. Among other things. The content, of course, only confirms that if she hadn’t failed at math, reading comprehension would have kept her out of the running for a degree. It’s also revealing that basic arithmetic counts as complicated mathematics in her book. I’d be tempted to say this was a hoax, a sociological internet experiment, as Hama suggests, but I’ve met too many people like this in real life, so it could be either way. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2003, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/231 "2003-10-10T19:15:33Z")
Oh I know. I can see her next thread… “I had to leave my baby in a crackhouse so I wouldn’t miss any shifts at Burgers R Us!” :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![luluBahrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e5b9ba/32.png) [@luluBahrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/luluBahrain)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2003, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/232 "2003-10-10T19:17:44Z")
Mine is. Please send one , pleasy pleasy with cheesy. ---
**Author:** ![Oreo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/c57346/32.png) [@Oreo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oreo)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2003, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/233 "2003-10-10T19:20:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BottledBlondJeanie \* > \*\ ***Oreo** I was considering sending you a link, but then I noticed your location. > > Screw you! > > GO TEXAS!!! > [sub]That’s a joke in case you didn’t know…I actually hate both…went to OSU for undergrad[/sub] \*\* Hey, go ahead and send me the link! I have two good reasons you should: 1. Yes, I did attend OU and will probably be rooting for them this weekend, but I’m not really a Sooner fan in my heart. That spot will forever belong to the Arkansas Razorbacks. (Who, by the way, are having a very good season this year.) GO HOGS! 2. **catsix** was supposed to have emailed it to me, but I haven’t received anything yet so I’m wondering if my email link works. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2003, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/234 "2003-10-10T19:22:05Z")
Hello? Did everyone miss my seemingly random post, about the chickens and the dixies and the LJ searches?? Intelligent community, my ass… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2003, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/235 "2003-10-10T19:22:21Z")
If anything that this thread has accomplished, it has given me greater empathy for the problems of other folks here. I’d particularly like to throw out some hugs to **Hopefool** , **T-keela** , and **Jarbabyj**. I can’t imagine the pain you must endure when the whining of this self-involved idiot reminds you of your losses. I wish I could make things better for all of you. ---
**Author:** ![mske](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ccd318/32.png) [@mske](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mske)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2003, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/236 "2003-10-10T19:31:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lezlers \* > \*\*Hello? > > Did everyone miss my seemingly random post, about the chickens and the dixies and the LJ searches?? > > Intelligent community, my ass… > > 😉 \*\* I got it **lezlers**! ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2003, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/237 "2003-10-10T19:43:59Z")
I’ve been trying to let this thread go since yesterday, but **Maven** , you’re still on my mind. I have a miniscule hope that this might get through to you, but I still feel the need to try. You’ve been very sweet when two of my cats were seriously ill - I’ve seen you offer shoulders to others. I can’t believe that you’re a lost cause because obviously, there’s some shred of you that wants things to change - why else would you continually post about it? Maybe it’s for attention, but I don’t think that’s all it is. I think you’re lost. Let me ask you something. Do you think people would continue to offer advice or to try and push you if they thought you were a lost cause? People do it because they WANT you to change your life, they WANT you to get the courage to pull yourself out of the hole you’re stuck in, they WANT you to DO SOMETHING. Because obviously, there’s something within you that makes people just the slightest bit sympathetic. If you were worthless or if people thought you were a lost cause, they WOULDN’T BOTHER! Do you understand that? You are not a lost cause and your baby is not a lost cause. You CAN change and you CAN bring up a happy and healthy child. But you need to be willing to take the first step to do so. That’s all I’m going to say. I don’t think you’re a lost cause, but I do know that you are frustrating as hell to most of the people on this thread. And you know, I may or may not be able to have children - I’ve got a condition that causes infertility and I don’t know if I can have a baby or not. So I understand why these other women are angry - because you are taking this precious gift and spitting on it. Please consider that. I’m going back behind the brick wall to bang my head on it - I hope you’ll allow all of us banging our heads to stop. Ava ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2003, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/238 "2003-10-10T19:44:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lezlers \* > \*\*Hello? > > Did everyone miss my seemingly random post, about the chickens and the dixies and the LJ searches?? > > Intelligent community, my ass… > > 😉 \*\* I did. What a whiny bitch. She’s one of those people I’ve been busy cutting out of my life. They’re the ones with 800 problems, never do anything about them, actively shoot down any solution offered, and still whine incessantly. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2003, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/239 "2003-10-10T19:47:41Z")
Thanks, **lezlers**. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2003, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/240 "2003-10-10T19:56:18Z")
No problem. Thought it would save everyone some time, without breaking any rules. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156.md?page=13)