# You Nameless, Faceless coward **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 7, 2003, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156 "2003-10-07T21:33:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/61 "2003-10-08T16:39:58Z")
I went back to work dancing three weeks after having my baby. I didn’t have much of a choice. I had a piece of shit boyfriend and a newborn to support. Not cool. But then, I was young and knew nothing about raising a child. It’s not something I would recommend. Good luck. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/62 "2003-10-08T16:56:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gobear \* > \*\* I have a horrible suspicion that in 6 months to a year she’ll be posting about the unfairness of CPS taking away the child and, after all, she only smacked him to make him be quiet. \*\* Not to mention her desire to dress a newborn child in all black goth clothes. Lord knows black and blood red is an awesome environment for newborns. I’ve tried my best for the past few months or so with the plethora of SDMB births and pregnancies to be joyous and supportive of everyone, and for the most part it’s worked…but you, IDBB, make me more angry and bitter than ever and your ‘problems’ with bringing a new child into the world have fucking shaken my faith to the core. IT ISN’T. FUCKING. FAIR. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/63 "2003-10-08T17:49:00Z")
I think, for almost the first time since I joined the SDMB, that I have nothing to add to a thread besides this. I agree with **gobear** , 100%. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Tinkertoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f19dbf/32.png) [@Tinkertoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tinkertoy)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/64 "2003-10-08T20:08:29Z")
I hope that she can find a daycare in Texas with all white employees. ---
**Author:** ![Tremmie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5fc32e/32.png) [@Tremmie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tremmie)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/65 "2003-10-08T20:32:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lezlers \* > \*\*Oh, and can I _please_ have this for a sig? It’s classic! \*\* Go for it 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/66 "2003-10-08T20:38:07Z")
Care to come back and answer any of these posts? Or are you going to continue to hide your head and wait for someone to pat you on the back and tell you it’s going to be ok, perhaps hand you a plasma screen t.v. and a million dollars? ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/67 "2003-10-08T21:13:29Z")
Perhaps it is time for Congress and the President to declare a War on Birthing. An unfortunate consequence, however, might be that the birth rate will skyrocket. ---
**Author:** ![80sHairMetalMaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/8/ed655f/32.png) [@80sHairMetalMaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/80sHairMetalMaven)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/68 "2003-10-08T21:55:53Z")
> [@](#): > > I for one am flabbergasted that a woman is even _allowed_ to return to work 1 week after a baby’s birth. Maybe I’m naive–do people do this? Do employers let them?. It’s pretty bad fucking policy, and I consider it a public health issue–a baby NEEDS to be with its mom after its birth Well when you don’t qualify for any social services because you make _slightly_ too much money and you don’t have enough in the kitty to stay home for six weeks (thanks to the FMLA which is unpaid), you go back to work wh ether you like it or not. MetalGuy will be staying home because his job gives him paid vac time, unlike mine. He earns his rather quickly and will be able to take 6 wks off when the baby is born. I will get back on my feet, sore or not, stitches or not, and get back to work. > [@](#): > > the possibility of government help – **FerretHerder** –I looked into what the Dept of Human Svcs offers and I don’t qualify for any of it unfortunately. ☹ > [@](#): > > Nothing makes an infertile gal like myself feel better than to read you bitching about your pregnancy –I’m sorry if I upset you, **jar**. _edited to remove comment that sounds snarky_ > [@](#): > > I do fall within the income range for my kids to get the reduced-price breakfast and lunch at school. And when the time comes, if I do qualify for reduced lunches at school, I’ll take advantage of that. I got lunches for next to nothing in school and there’s nothing wrong about using the free lunch program at all. > [@](#): > > My guess is that you can get WIC assistance. I strongly recommend that you take it. Actually, **Persephone** , I looked into it today and even called WIC but the lady laughed at me and hung up the phone when she found out how much we make per year. It turns out it’s _slightly_ more than what is allowed to get WIC for just one kid. I did try. > [@](#): > > Agencies like the ones I’ve worked with exist for people like you and me Such as? I don’t even know where to begin to look. I tried the Dept of Human Svcs but I don’t qualify for welfare, WIC and I’m not even sure I qualify for Medicaid. > [@](#): > > I don’t know if you comprehend the responsibility you have taken on, but everything you’ve ever posted both here and elsewhere indicate that you do not. You and I are the same age, and I know that I am not ready to have a child. And it’s my fault I’m pregnant, I know. Because I didn’t use any sort of birth control and now I’m paying the price. I’m trying to take all of this in, but it’s a heckuva lotta information to absorb all at once. > [@](#): > > Do you also not realize that given your previous posts on your income that your job will not cover the costs of daycare needed in order to stay employed? Maybe, maybe not. I don’t know but I won’t know until I try it either. All I know is that right now if I don’t work, we don’t survive. If I stop working, we lose the house, possibly one of the cars and end up back in an apt. where I don’t want to be anyway. > [@](#): > > Many people have already posted how expensive daycare is. You might be thinking they are exaggerating. They’re not. I know. We have a next door neighbor with a 4 mos. old who told us recently that daycare costs them as much as their housepayment every month. > [@](#): > > Are you so deeply in denial that you don’t realize that you are going to need more than a week to recover? I know I’m going to need more than a week to recover. What I don’t have is the money to spend the time I need to recover. Even if we saved every dime from now until the baby arrived, I doubt (between buying baby gear, babyproofing the house, dr visits, etc) it would cover me losing 6-8 wks of pay. **gobear** –as I cannot think of anything positive at the moment to say about your post, I won’t. > [@](#): > > What about the week prior to giving birth? My mom suggested this too, that I take a week off before the baby arrives but I know it’s just not financially possible. MetalMaven ---
**Author:** ![BottledBlondJeanie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/0ea827/32.png) [@BottledBlondJeanie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BottledBlondJeanie)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/69 "2003-10-08T22:07:08Z")
Look, could someone point a poor idiot to her LJ? What I’m reading on here is very disturbing without reading the LJ. Please help… Thanks, BBJ ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/70 "2003-10-08T22:21:04Z")
Three questions: Did you give the Wic lady both of your incomes or just your husbands? The math just doesn’t add up. Assuming a person in fast food makes $6.50 an hour (I really don’t know what you get paid). Without Taxes being taken out, you will bring in $260.00 a week if you work 40 hours. I have been told that infant care in North Texas can easily run $200.00 a week. so, are you telling us that you are willing to bust your ass working at a job you hate to bring home $60.00 a week? That’s being generous. I didn’t, as I stated, account for taxes deducted from your check. I also have to ask you specifically what your point is in adding this: “_edited to remove comment that sounds snarky_” There is NO edit function at the dope. NONE. If you ‘edit’ something _prior_ to posting, there is NO REASON to mention that you edited something rude out. Can you not comprehend that by adding that you _are_ adding something snarky to the post? How passive aggressive can you get? My last question is to ask you what your point was in posting this whole fiasco. You know damn well that your threads end up as train wrecks because you refuse to acknowledge ANY advice. If you are posting soley to vent, why not just vent on your blog? Why are you stirring the mud here? There are a LOT of people here at the dope that have constantly given you the benefit of the doubt. There are a LOT of people who genuinely are concerned for your child’s welfare. Do you not realize that by posting as you do that you needlessly cause people to worry about the situation. No one, no matter how much they dislike you personally, has any ill feelings for your child. We ALL want what’s best for this child and you are pretty much flaunting the fact that this child will NOT get your best efforts. I have to ask, how much longer do you intend on trolling for sympathy around here? Why isn’t this a bannable offence? You are deliberately messing with people’s emotions regarding children, it seems. That is _so_ not cool. ---
**Author:** ![80sHairMetalMaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/8/ed655f/32.png) [@80sHairMetalMaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/80sHairMetalMaven)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/71 "2003-10-08T22:29:13Z")
When I edited it, I previewed and then changed what I said. Sorry. > [@](#): > > Did you give the Wic lady both of your incomes or just your husbands I gave her the combined total of both our incomes, like I thought I was supposed to. > [@](#): > > No one, no matter how much they dislike you personally, has any ill feelings for your child. We ALL want what’s best for this child and you are pretty much flaunting the fact that this child will NOT get your best efforts. I’m not even sure how to respond to that at the moment, tbh. MetalMaven ---
**Author:** ![7\_up\_yours](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/7/919ad9/32.png) [@7\_up\_yours](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/7_up_yours)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/72 "2003-10-08T22:29:24Z")
What the hell? I thought she _might_ be leaving. I’m a little 😕 right now. I never knew it was her until this thread. Was there some sort of “coming back” thread I missed? :o ---
**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/73 "2003-10-08T22:45:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by 80sHairMetalMaven \* > **I gave her the combined total of both our incomes, like I thought I was supposed to.** No. You should just give his income, because you want to find out what aid you will qualify for if you stay home. ---
**Author:** ![80sHairMetalMaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/8/ed655f/32.png) [@80sHairMetalMaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/80sHairMetalMaven)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/74 "2003-10-08T22:46:58Z")
Even so porcupine…I suspect we would still make too much. And if I stayed at home, we would not be able to make basic payments like car payment, utilities and so forth. MetalMaven ---
**Author:** ![BottledBlondJeanie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/0ea827/32.png) [@BottledBlondJeanie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BottledBlondJeanie)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/75 "2003-10-08T22:49:02Z")
Look, I know cross linking to LJ’s is forbiddenbut can’t you at least give me her username? I know it ewas posted on here once before, but ham§sters are not cooperating…please? All I see at this point makes her look to be unfairly picked on if what she says is true in her op… ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/76 "2003-10-08T22:50:38Z")
I can only imagine what sort of snarky comment you could possibly have to say to me that I wouldn’t just point my finger and laugh. So go ahead, after all, what would Walt Disney do? ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/77 "2003-10-08T22:51:43Z")
email me at [jarbabyj@yahoo.com](mailto:jarbabyj@yahoo.com), bbj. ---
**Author:** ![BottledBlondJeanie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/0ea827/32.png) [@BottledBlondJeanie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BottledBlondJeanie)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/78 "2003-10-08T23:34:33Z")
Done, and thanks! I’ll even cheer a bit for the Bears this weekend…maybe ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/79 "2003-10-08T23:44:37Z")
Now you’re just lying. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/80 "2003-10-08T23:53:50Z")
Bullshit, IDBB. You can’t call a social services agency and find out if you qualify. They don’t work like that. You have to show them proof of income and expenses and they have to use their tables and calculations. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156.md?page=5)