# You Nameless, Faceless coward **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 7, 2003, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156 "2003-10-07T21:33:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Aries28](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Aries28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aries28)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/141 "2003-10-09T14:24:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gobear \* > **And Lezlers, if you could e-mail me an LJ link, I’d be grateful.** If someone would be so kind I’d like to see this also. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/142 "2003-10-09T14:33:26Z")
Prediction number 2: $500 is a number she pulled out of her ass. As someone who knows nothing of her finances, she would have no clue. ---
**Author:** ![Velma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/85e7bf/32.png) [@Velma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velma)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/143 "2003-10-09T14:50:41Z")
I hope so. I cannot even imagine what kind of bedroom set would cost $500 a month. Is it encrusted with diamonds? You can get a decent bedroom set for less than $500 _total_! $500 / month is more than I pay for \* 2 car payments\*! ---
**Author:** ![Bren\_Cameron\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@Bren\_Cameron\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bren_Cameron_1)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/144 "2003-10-09T15:30:34Z")
I can’t fathom making monthly payments on furniture when you’re in such dire straits that a part time fast food job is the difference between life and death. I don’t think I’ve ever owned a piece of furniture that had monthly payments. Everything in my house is either inherited or picked up at garage sales. Well, okay, there’s the $50 computer desk I got at target. I’m with gobear–if that number is the least bit accurate, we’re talking rent-to-own, which is Scam City. But I’m leaning more towards it being a rectally retrieved figure at this point. ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/145 "2003-10-09T15:34:23Z")
Maven, I admire your commitment to breastfeed. It’s a big money-saver. But one thing that’s important to know is that a milk supply needs time to be established. One week is not going to be sufficient. Unless you’re a rare exception, you’ll find that substituting pumping for actual nursing will yield very little early on, and you will never be able to establish a good supply. I had a moderately good supply, but with pumping I rarely could get more than 8 oz total. And that’s with an employer who was flexible about me taking as many pumping breaks as I wanted, a private office, and a readily-accessible fridge. I don’t see how you’ll have those same crucial amenities at your job. More important, I think, is the bigger issue. Any way you do the math, you cannot afford two cars, a house, cable, your current furniture, AND your baby as well. Something has to give. Going back to work before you are medically able, to earn money that won’t even cover expenses, is not any kind of solution. ---
**Author:** ![Horrifying\_Howler\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Horrifying\_Howler\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horrifying_Howler_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/146 "2003-10-09T15:40:46Z")
**Bad News Baboon** I had a friend who paid over $300 a month for insurance on his vette. You could compare that to the $50 I pay now for full coverage on a car that is still considered a quasi sports car (in that it has a 6 cylinder engine), he won’t own another one because of how expensive they are to insure. I believe corvettes are up in the top 10 for being among the most expensive cars to insure ( [link](http://info.insure.com/auto/mostexpensive.html/) ) I am sure part of that is because car insurance is usually higher (here anyway) for men than it is for woman, but it wouldn’t have been that much cheaper for me. I looked into it, I love those cars. Count me in with the folks who are amazed you are spending $500 on furniture. Almost half of your paycheck? That is absolutely ridiculous, you need to return that stuff now, and get yourself to the Salvation Army, and you can get a used couch for $10. I don’t make that much above minumum wage, but I can support myself, a mortgage, car payments, insurance, and all the good stuff that goes along with owning a house (well, except for hot water tank repair 🙂 ) and it is damn hard sometimes, but I am doing it, and it is because I have had to learn how to manage my money. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/147 "2003-10-09T15:42:39Z")
::sigh:: > **[Adoption Leader - Gladney Center for Adoption](https://www.adoptionsbygladney.com/)** > > Adoption is an option for families with a desire to grow their family as well as for expectant parents facing an unplanned pregnancy. Roots in Ft Worth, TX and all over the USA. **Maven** , you can’t or won’t be able to make it with your current plan. Look up these folks. For that matter, look up the right to life folks and ask THEM for help. ---
**Author:** ![DeskMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f14d63/32.png) [@DeskMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeskMonkey)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/148 "2003-10-09T15:54:38Z")
I once saw a news magazine report on a couple in which both parents worked. The mom went to work very shortly after the baby was born because they couldn’t afford to live on just one income. She spent the first 2 or 3 years of her baby’s life working to make a better life for baby. The show hooked them up with a financial analyst who proceeded to tell them that because of taxes, the cost of daycare, the mom’s relatively low-paying job, they had actually LOST MONEY because the mom went back to work. Between daycare and taxes, they paid out more than she earned. It would have been CHEAPER if she had stayed home with the baby. They were devistated. The look on the mom’s face was just so sad. I don’t recall her referring the baby as “damn kid”, so perhaps she was a little more sentimental about the whole first-years-of-life thing. Good luck. Ouch, was that a brick wall I just rammed my head into? ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/149 "2003-10-09T16:02:06Z")
Lots of people have misconceptions about what life is going to be like when they have a baby, myself included. But that doesn’t mean they should have to give the baby up for adoption. Yeah, MetalMaven’s priorities seem a bit screwed up right now, but that doesn’t mean she won’t realize this once she has the baby. She sounds immature, but I don’t see how she’s unfit. I’m guessing she’s just young and delusional about the reality of having a child. Some of us are reluctant to give up luxuries to have a baby, but we learn that it is necessary. Not everyone who gets pregnant is thrilled about it, but some of us still make a commitment to raising the child the best we can. Yes, it’s sad that some of you have fertility problems, but that doesn’t mean that MM has to be thrilled at every aspect of her pregnancy. I certainly wasn’t. It was not something I wanted, but I decided to try anyway. It took time, but I did come to accept some of the unwanted advice that I had gotten prior to the birth. Just because she’s not fully ready right now doesn’t mean she won’t ever be. ---
**Author:** ![Aries28](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Aries28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aries28)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/150 "2003-10-09T16:05:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Indygrrl \* > \*\*Lots of people have misconceptions about what life is going to be like when they have a baby, myself included. But that doesn’t mean they should have to give the baby up for adoption. > > Yeah, MetalMaven’s priorities seem a bit screwed up right now, but that doesn’t mean she won’t realize this once she has the baby. She sounds immature, but I don’t see how she’s unfit. I’m guessing she’s just young and delusional about the reality of having a child. Some of us are reluctant to give up luxuries to have a baby, but we learn that it is necessary. Not everyone who gets pregnant is thrilled about it, but some of us still make a commitment to raising the child the best we can. > > Yes, it’s sad that some of you have fertility problems, but that doesn’t mean that MM has to be thrilled at every aspect of her pregnancy. I certainly wasn’t. It was not something I wanted, but I decided to try anyway. It took time, but I did come to accept some of the unwanted advice that I had gotten prior to the birth. > > Just because she’s not fully ready right now doesn’t mean she won’t ever be. \*\* PULEEZE. I am probably the worst person on the face of the planet at being pregnant but never once did I refer to the precious gift of my children as those “damn kids.” You can not be thrilled at every or any aspect of your pregnancy but to refer to a baby as a damn kid and be more worried about cars, living in an apartment and cable tv is beyond moronic. ---
**Author:** ![mske](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ccd318/32.png) [@mske](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mske)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/151 "2003-10-09T16:09:00Z")
I’ve read all of this thread, plus witnessed pretty much all of **IDBB** / **80sMaven** ’s previous trainwrecks (although I have never seen “her” Livejournal). I can only come to one conclusion: “She” is lying. Too many inconsistencies. Too much bullshit. No one can be this ignorant or stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/152 "2003-10-09T16:09:43Z")
Not that I think **I Dig Bad Hair** would consider this, but when I was young and poor, my son’s dad worked days and I worked evenings. He had a chance to bond with the baby, we didn’t lose either income, and didn’t have to pay child care. Now, I KNOW fast food joints have evening shifts. Just ask your boss if you can transfer to evenings and let someone else take a crack at the glory of the day shift at **Crap-o-burger**. Oh, that’s right. There are already people working that shift. And I’m sure there’s no turnover at **Crap-o-burger** , so those shifts will never open up. Oh, and her boss hates her, so he won’t even entertain the thought of letting her work a different shift because he wants to preside over her pain and suffering during DAYLIGHT hours only. Fuck me. I’m an idiot.:smack: ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/153 "2003-10-09T16:14:58Z")
Sorry Indygrrl, no go. Like I said, I had sympathy for her for a while, as I know it can be overwhelming, but no matter what, I can’t imagine calling a tiny embryo a ‘damn kid’. Imagine when it dares to kick her. Also, it’s so far beyond her kid by now. It’s her attitude and her brick wall like demeanor that’s making everyone angry. ---
**Author:** ![Jurhael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@Jurhael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurhael)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/154 "2003-10-09T16:23:20Z")
Jarbabyj: “Is anything worse than period shits?” Yea. Period pains. Heh Thanks for the link, btw. I’ve heard of “rent to own” before, but how does that work? How is it a scam? Just wondering. Whatever it is, I hope that 500$ a month is an exaggeration. It has to be. I mean, that’s RENT for some people. ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/155 "2003-10-09T16:40:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\*Sorry Indygrrl, no go. Like I said, I had sympathy for her for a while, as I know it can be overwhelming, but no matter what, I can’t imagine calling a tiny embryo a ‘damn kid’. Imagine when it dares to kick her. > > Also, it’s so far beyond her kid by now. It’s her attitude and her brick wall like demeanor that’s making everyone angry. \*\* I was just rebutting all the people who are telling her she should put the baby up for adoption. I don’t doubt her attitude. I’m sure many people have thought the same about their child/children, they just don’t post it on a messageboard. Pregnancy hormones can make you think crazy things, it’s possible that she was feeling a bit resentful, but I don’t take that to mean she doesn’t love the damn kid.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/156 "2003-10-09T17:00:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jurhael \* > \*\*Jarbabyj: > > “Is anything worse than period shits?” > > Yea. Period pains. Heh Thanks for the link, btw. \*\* Ohhhh, no…the PAINS come WITH the shits, you see. You get PMS, then the cramps start…then you get the shits, and there’s this fantastic “three exits - no waiting” thing going on between your legs every time you sit on the can. But have the cramps actually STOPPED? \noooOOOOOoooo!\ They get worse, and you feel halfway like you have to crap even when you’re done. And it’s acidic. Mmm, acidic diarrhea. Flushable wipes are a woman’s best friend. That may have appeared distasteful, but I’d like to think it was still more palatable to read than anything the OP has had to say. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jurhael \* > **I’ve heard of “rent to own” before, but how does that work? How is it a scam? Just wondering.** Rent-to-own is just a way for people with very poor credit to get nicer things than they’d normally be able to afford, but at VERY high interest rates - and if you miss a couple of payments, they take the stuff back. Whammo. ---
**Author:** ![Bren\_Cameron\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@Bren\_Cameron\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bren_Cameron_1)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/157 "2003-10-09T17:17:26Z")
I agree that telling her to put the kid up for adoption is over the top, and cruel. And I also don’t think it’s fair to blast someone for being frustrated about the problems having kids can cause. Kids can tick you off something fierce, and having kids is a big, big responsibility, and sometimes swearing is the only halfway acceptable way of handling it. I love my kids, wouldn’t trade them for anything, but I do understand the impulse to swear at the damn kids. I try and do it out of their hearing, and then try to have a cup of tea and calm down. It’s not right to decide someone is a bad mother because she gets angry and frustrated. Someone having problems with that needs help learning how to handle the feelings, not accusations for actually having them. Of course, I realize IDBB won’t take any such help–that still doesn’t make the accusations right. That said, I think that if HMM has even remotely accurately described her situation, she’s completely deluded about the way the real world works, and will do her baby more harm than good. On rent to own–here are some links: > **[MPR News](https://www.mprnews.org)** > > Minnesota's Online Source for News That Matters [http://216.239.39.104/search?q=cache:DcMJtQ5--aIJ:moneycentral.msn.com/content/P57042.asp+rent-to-own+furniture+poverty&hl=en&ie=UTF-8](http://216.239.39.104/search?q=cache:DcMJtQ5--aIJ:moneycentral.msn.com/content/P57042.asp+rent-to-own+furniture+poverty&hl=en&ie=UTF-8) And yet another link: [http://www.prrac.org/topics/jul99/banks.htm](http://www.prrac.org/topics/jul99/banks.htm) > [@](#): > > Rent-to-own stores like corporate chains Rent-A-Center and Rent America have expanded to satisfy the consumption demands of the working poor, those recently entering bankruptcy, divorced persons, students, new immigrants, government assistance recipients and those living in the informal economy. The most popular merchandise include stereos, TV/VCRs, sofas, dining sets, kitchen appliances, bedroom furniture, washer/dryers and jewelry. Rent-to-own stores appeal to those seeking instant gratification, those with unstable lifestyles, and those participating in the cash-only economy. Weekly payments tend to obscure usurious interest rates; same day delivery and return policies appeal to those experiencing recent lifestyle transitions such as eviction or divorce; and high-pressure sales staff are trained to prey on low-income consumption desires. Most items are leased on a rent-to-own basis, but no equity is accumulated until the entire principal and all interest is paid in full. As a result, with APRs typically ranging from 180% to 360%, few clients pay off their purchases. An example of rent-to-own economics, using data from a Rent-USA and Circuit City store in suburban Maryland, both accessible by public transportation: A new 19" Magnavox TV lists for $195.99 at Circuit City and will cost $233.37 if financed with the company’s own credit card (less if the customer uses a personal bank credit card) for 78 weeks; at Rent-USA, the same model television set will cost $779.22 after it is finally paid off, 78 weeks later. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/158 "2003-10-09T17:32:13Z")
> [@](#): > > I agree that telling her to put the kid up for adoption is over the top, and cruel. Nonsense. It would be far more cruel to subject a child to be raised in poverty by an emotionally disturbed, financially irresponsible parent. ---
**Author:** ![blanx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f04885/32.png) [@blanx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blanx)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/159 "2003-10-09T17:46:54Z")
I agree with gobear. There are some people who should not have children at a particular point in time. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156/160 "2003-10-09T18:02:52Z")
Guess this pit thread hasn’t turned out quite like you’d want it to, huh MetalMaven? Imagine what having a kid’s gonna be like. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-nameless-faceless-coward/206156.md?page=9)