# You need a handy new phrase? Well, if you insist...

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-need-a-handy-new-phrase-well-if-you-insist/382451>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [December 1, 2006, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-need-a-handy-new-phrase-well-if-you-insist/382451 "2006-12-01T06:26:16Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 16\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Malienation](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Malienation](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malienation)\
**Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-need-a-handy-new-phrase-well-if-you-insist/382451/1 "2006-12-01T06:26:16Z")

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I’ve been thinking about coining a new phrase. “Pumping the treadle,” well, that’s withering on the vine. ☹ So I’ll try again. 🙂

Based on this [Santa Claus stamp](http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2068391.html?menu=news.quirkies) I came up with, “crap down your/my chimney.” Work with me on this.

Let’s say you’re irate at how someone appears to be bullshitting you in a particularly aggregious fashion. You could say, “hey! You tryin’ to crap down my chimney?” The disorientation factor alone will give him pause. Or, say, you are trying to convince someone of your sincerity: you could look him straight in the eye and say, “listen, I’m not tryin’ to crap down your chimney on this.” Not bad, eh?

Okay, one and all, have at it. But remember, you heard it hear first. 🆒

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**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\
**Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-need-a-handy-new-phrase-well-if-you-insist/382451/2 "2006-12-01T06:37:05Z")

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[QUOTE=Malienation]

Okay, one and all, have at it. But remember, you heard it hear first. 🆒  
[/QUOTE]

But what have we heard it hear? 😃

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**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\
**Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-need-a-handy-new-phrase-well-if-you-insist/382451/3 "2006-12-01T14:03:30Z")

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“Pumping the treadle” makes me think of female masturbation, for some reason. I don’t know if that’s your intended effect.

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**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\
**Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-need-a-handy-new-phrase-well-if-you-insist/382451/4 "2006-12-01T14:04:44Z")

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[QUOTE=Oakminster]  
But what have we heard it hear? 😃  
[/QUOTE]

We heard it hearing itself crapping down its chimney. Or so I’ve heard.

You know we’re all getting reindeer lumps in our stockings this year, right?

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**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\
**Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-need-a-handy-new-phrase-well-if-you-insist/382451/5 "2006-12-01T14:11:34Z")

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Personally, I like the term “shit the bed” as a synonym for “screwed the pooch”, or “did something bad”.

If I didn’t create that term, (“shit the bed”) I certainly was a very early adopter.

While I’m on the subject, I brought the “What’s the matter, gonna cry? Gonna squirt some tears?” about teo years before Dr. Evil did. No, I’m not still bitter or waiting for my royalty checks. You know, come to think of it, I’ve had a few things I’ve said that I’ve noticed in other places later…  
Gr.

Ooh. Also also, I’ve been trying to bring back the word “fresh”. It’s about time for that one, I say.

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**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\
**Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-need-a-handy-new-phrase-well-if-you-insist/382451/6 "2006-12-01T14:13:02Z")

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By the way, I’ll see if I can get you some dap and get “crap down the/your chimney” going. I can see it as a fad, though.

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**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\
**Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-need-a-handy-new-phrase-well-if-you-insist/382451/7 "2006-12-01T14:20:54Z")

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I’ve been actively working with “Thanks for playing” as a term for “The end, full stop”- an example:

“Look, there’s not really a lot I can do here- either I can refund the purchase price onto a gift card for you, or I can send this thing down to Sydney to get fixed. That’s it, those are your options, thanks for playing.”

Another one was “A serious case of The Prodigy”, which meant “Some seriously funky shit”- The Prodigy are an English electronica band with a song entitled _Funky Shit_, hence the reference.

I’ve had rather more luck introducing spoken Leet Speak to work, with phrases such as “n00b”, “pwn” (pronounced “Pawn” or “Own”), and “Teh Suck” proving surprisingly popular. 😉

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**Author:** ![Precambrianmollusc](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/precambrianmollusc/32/63_2.png) [@Precambrianmollusc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Precambrianmollusc)\
**Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-need-a-handy-new-phrase-well-if-you-insist/382451/8 "2006-12-01T17:01:30Z")

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[QUOTE=Least Original User Name Ever]  
Personally, I like the term “shit the bed” as a synonym for “screwed the pooch”, or “did something bad”.

\<snip\>

[/QUOTE]

I have heard ‘Shit the bed’ used in the context of greeting someone at work, who is normally a tad tardy but for some reason has managed to arrive on time.  
‘ahhh John, you’re here on time, what happened, did you shit the bed?’

the opposite of this is ‘velcro pajamas’ applied to someone who is normally early, but arrived late.  
‘ahhh Jessica what happened - did you put on velcro pajamas last night?’

Wearing velcro pajamas and shitting the bed should not be attempted concurrently.

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**Author:** ![Precambrianmollusc](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/precambrianmollusc/32/63_2.png) [@Precambrianmollusc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Precambrianmollusc)\
**Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-need-a-handy-new-phrase-well-if-you-insist/382451/9 "2006-12-01T17:04:41Z")

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on reflection

‘he put on his velcro pajamas and shit in his bed’

could certainly be used as a synonym for someone doing something very foolish with negative consequences for said person, that must be endured for some time.

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**Author:** ![Malienation](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Malienation](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malienation)\
**Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-need-a-handy-new-phrase-well-if-you-insist/382451/10 "2006-12-01T18:00:02Z")

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[QUOTE=McNew]  
“Pumping the treadle” makes me think of female masturbation, for some reason. I don’t know if that’s your intended effect.  
[/QUOTE]  
I…I don’t know what to say, **McNew** , you’re bringing a tear to my eye. Perhaps there’s hope for [pumping the treadle](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=7553075&postcount=145) after all. 🙂

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**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\
**Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-need-a-handy-new-phrase-well-if-you-insist/382451/11 "2006-12-01T18:47:05Z")

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Well, I’ll be dipped. Whaddaya know.

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**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\
**Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-need-a-handy-new-phrase-well-if-you-insist/382451/12 "2006-12-01T18:52:54Z")

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Man, you’re really juggling the llama if you think anyone will adopt that phrase.

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**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\
**Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-need-a-handy-new-phrase-well-if-you-insist/382451/13 "2006-12-01T19:09:34Z")

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After so many attempts at starting new phrases, aren’t you just milking the chimp?

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**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\
**Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-need-a-handy-new-phrase-well-if-you-insist/382451/14 "2006-12-01T19:09:37Z")

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I think you’re really milking the chimp with this one.

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**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\
**Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-need-a-handy-new-phrase-well-if-you-insist/382451/15 "2006-12-01T19:10:45Z")

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GAH! Damn you **Ludovic**! All the way to the end and then simul-chimp milking! Drat and confustucate. Bother and bewilder. Harrumph!

😃

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**Author:** ![bubastis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d07c76/32.png) [@bubastis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bubastis)\
**Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-need-a-handy-new-phrase-well-if-you-insist/382451/16 "2006-12-01T20:37:10Z")

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I coined “Dont piss on my back and tell me it’s raining”… Well, round here, anyway.

I like “crap down your chimney”… i think it will replace " I hate to piss in your puddle", for the festive season, at least.
